Chereads / Distant branches (dropped) / Chapter 1 - Ohhhhhh she’s your sister

Distant branches (dropped)

🇬🇧Smithsonian86_
  • 16
    Completed
  • --
    NOT RATINGS
  • 515.9k
    Views
Synopsis

Chapter 1 - Ohhhhhh she’s your sister

*thud* ow! Inhaling through my teeth I processed the pain of landing flat on my face, the floor seems to be some kind of marble but the pattern is confusing my monkey brain. How are all these square tiles making a circle?

I hear multiple groans so I turn around and check who else is with me. I spot a dude in a Kiton K50 suit standing up and scanning his surroundings with a piercing gaze that screams Imma buy this place and knock it down.

Second guy seems to be an Asian highschooler, his naive expression just screams "I like turtles and my childhood friend is just a friend". His first words were "eh? Chihiro nee~ where are you?" Ah yes, ichika vibes. If we're kidnapped by a serial killer for a death game your first.

Next two guys are men of culture, too much culture because they're wearing aheago loli T-shirt's that are clinging so tight their tits could give a dxd woman a run for their money. They're panting in happiness because they've put together what might be happening right now.

"Ehem" someone coughed out, the final guy in the room is radiating a dominating vibe that I feel the others may not be picking up in based on how they're turning to him looking for answers. Imma just step back and let him do his thing.

"My name is Kukulkan! The god of dragons! What your experiencing right now is a selection process to determine my champion. All the gods are picking people so I need too, at least that's what I've been told. So! I'm here to ask you questions that will determine your fate."

The others begin mumbling and internally monologuing over the new information. I just pressed my lips together and thought "bring it on" like kuzco. Kukulkan looked at me for a brief second before turning back.

"Question 1: who is the most useless goddess!"

"Aqua" *4 "Ristarte" was what I said causing the others to look at me. What? It's not like I'm wrong.

"Question 2: best dragon girl!"

Immediately the two weebs shout "kanna and lucoa!" The business man just tries to look like he knows who they are before a light bulb goes off "tohru!" The ichika clone just says "eh?" I noticed how a vein bulged slightly on the gods face so I recalled who he is. Oh shit lucoa might be another version of him or his little sister or something. Welp the weebs are dead, guess it's between me and the rich guy.

I ponder before unleashing wisdom " Tio Klarus! Tomoe! Velzard and Velgrynd! Anne tidora! Tiamat DXD! Elma!"

The world stilled as the god stared me down with a reptilian eye. The other four stared at me like I was speaking in tongues.

"Question 3: how did you die!"

"Truck"*2, "assassinated by my ex wife and business partner". "Eh? Uh I was on a cruise with my nee chan and classmates, then I heard shouting and screaming but it didn't sound right so I went and checked the source, after I opened the door I saw my (female) friends rubbing on some guy before everything went black". Ok ichika died of cuckism, I guess the hentai stuff was true~

The dragon looked at me so I shrugged "drunk off my ass so I don't know, personally I hope it was at the age of 80 with some milfs mouth on my-"

"That's enough!" Shouted the god before looking at us. He turned to the weebs "so you think my sister is hot?" He asked menacingly causing them to sweat. He pointed a claw at them and said "Mil-tan dimension" making a portal open beneath them letting them fall to doom.

He turned to the dense guy "you don't have a clue where you are so..... re zero!" "Eh?" Was the last word that guy ever spoke.

He turned to the rich guy who was fixing his tie like he got the job. "You smell like a smarmy douche bag with deer piss cologne so froopy land". Ah that's rough buddy, good luck dealing with the incestous cannibals.

The god turned to me and sighed "okay your in, Your going to a world under my jurisdiction. That means it has a dragon girl in it somewhere. Do whatever the fuck you want as long as you get strong."

Was all he said before wings appeared behind his back and he flapped them. The wind force blew me into the abyss, I had a doctor Strange moment as I passed through the omni verse, then I hit a bubble and sunk into it which I think is the multiverse.

Within I saw thousands of lines with one being the brightest gold, I watched that line as I sunk close to it meaning I'd entered a universe. The force dragging me sped up so I just perceived a blur. When the force stopped after what I think was five minutes I saw a familiar blue planet.

I fell from orbit on earth towards japan, I'm more happy that I'm not burning up from entry. Passed the country level I saw myself about to crash somewhere in a city. Why are there giants walking around?

I heard gun shot and magical laughter before I impacted something. My body felt different, the feeling of falling just vanished! I looked at my hands and saw them covered in wood.

"The fuck?" I said before I got whacked in the jaw harder than anything I'd felt in my life. I felt myself wearing a helmet which saved my brain from being squished some more as I hit the ground. Fragmented memories entered my head about a guy named Shinji Nishiya.

Ok so I'm in MHA, the guys body that I just stole was an orphan who was inducted into the hero course on recommendation from an older guy named Iida, must be the canon characters father. He saved shinji from a light as gang member who was used to grow weed.

Arbor: the quirk thag allows me to turn my body parts to wood, generate more and manipulate the wood how I see fit. It could be extremely deadly in the right hands (a naruto fan) but this guy uses it to make tentacles. A gang saw that he could make flowers and leaves bloom so they invited him to do just that.

Shinji was making bank but as the supplier he couldn't keep up with the growing demand of his employer. They were forcing him to overlock his quirk which kinda lowered the product quality. Some of the users weren't happy so snitched to an underground hero.

One raid later shinji was sipping hot chocolate at a police station being asked by a cat man what he wanted to do with his life. He wanted to prevent people from ending up as he did said the fourteen year old. Ingenium saved him and heard him from the other side of the one way mirror.

One year of training under the iida family which taught him martial arts and parkour along with a proper education led him to the recommended slot in UA. Passed the recommendation exam and started three years at school where he just tried to improve himself as much as possible forgoing making friends like the canon characters did.

Chose the name kamui woods to refer to his powers being slightly divine in nature. Debuted a year ago and helped capture a few villains which put him on the map, right now he was helping out death arms who is his frequent partner in mustafu. Shinji got bonked on the knoggin by a villain then I slipped in.

Groaning as I pulled myself out of the rubble I looked through the helmets eye slot as death arms got tossed around by a villain who looks like a goose. No wonder shinii fucking died, he challenged a man who had the powers of a god.

Giving the body a jostle to check for major damage just proved I was a little bruised in some spots. Looking at my arms I noticed that the wood was fucking bonsai wood! Why didn't shinji change what type of wood he has?!?

Shit! later i will have to see if I can merge with a stronger wood and a toxic wood. He spent years developing the tentacles application and increasing the range of growth rather than develop everything else related to his wood quirk.

The speed of deployment, complexity of designs like weapons or sculptures, improving the wood which can improve his bloody body! So much to do.

I pointed my fingers at the goose and tried using Arbor my way. {twig gattling!} I shouted as my fingers began shooting out wood shards like bullets. Think of diamond head from Ben 10, the goose villain got hit in the eye causing him to honk in rage.

As I kept shooting I started refining the bullets overtime, the shots were hitting and keeping the goose off me so why not get stronger in the process? The twigs grew thicker and sharper as well as the shape becoming more aerodynamic so they pierced faster and more accurately.

"Honk! Huronk!" Squealed the goose as some of the twig bullets pierced his feathers leaving surface wounds. Damn! If I had some poisonous woods I could have paralysed this guy by now.

Shinji spent most of his time studying binding techniques and then figuring out how to use his wood techniques to implement them. This research led him to pretty kinky stuff most of the time, now I have that knowledge in my head.

This world has a lot more body types than my Earth because of mutant quirks, now I know how to efficiently bind them all. Hell~ best Jeanist wrote a book on the topic because it's that complicated and diverse. One thing shinji never tried was to manipulate the wood after it left his body, he just assumed that if it was cut off he couldn't use it.

He was very wrong, I smirked under the mask before reaching out with my mind. Once I felt some off the twig bullets that were littering the ground near the goose I implemented a new move. {Broken branch binding!}. Shouting out cringe names empowers them! Anime logic.

The dead wood bullets sprang to life and coiled around the goose villain. His wings were tightened to his body, his neck slightly choked and his mouth was shut so he couldn't unleash the power of honk.

The bindings increased in thickness and weight once they reconnected to the ground forcing the villain into submission. I exhaled once he stopped struggling.

cheering then began to sound out from my surroundings as all the civilians enjoying the show saw the god/ the villain get defeated by the hero. As I looked around and saw how everyone of those people was unique was in their own right I couldn't help but smile.

A smack on the back brought me back to reality, I turned and saw a muscular man grinning "nice work Kamui!" I joked "thanks deatharms, I had him on the ropes".

Now normally a shitty joke like that would be met with a deadpan or a scoff but the audience who heard me all broke out into laughter. Ah, I guess the entertainment industry in this world may have gone to shit over 200 years. No good comedians is a crime.

"Good one woods, you'd give miss joke a run for her money." Said death arms while I walked with him towards the police who arrived to detain honkizaru, yes that was the villains name.

After that I retired for the day back to the woods hero agency. Inside was a side kick with the code name night life, he was from Ketsubutsu academy which is another hero school. His quirk is an enhancement quirk which makes him smarter and more dexterous at night.

So shinji took him in as a side kick because he was amazing at business and had a similar background to himself. Night life gets paid well in this agency so he does his job effectively. When I feel like going on a night patrol he would join me but during the day he would handle the minor paper work like a secretary.

I greeted him before going into my office and letting the helmet and arms peel back into my body. I looked at the mirror in my personal bathroom. I would have done a spit take if I had drank anything.

I looked similar to Azuma from fairy tail except I had no facial hair and my wooden coloured hair was done in a short blowout with tapered sides which In my opinion looked trendy. My bodies build changed from a normal guys to one resembling Spider-Man's, well the comic Spider-Man's rather than the movies. Basically I was shredded and has a body that was both strong and flexible.

Undoing the belt buckle I took a peak under the hood, my past life's branch has now become a mighty oak! The utility belt certainly helped hide the bulge. I had a pondering expression for a moment as I looked at my hand.

The tanned skin changed into wood before I stretched it slightly and returned the wood back into skin. My eyes widened as I noticed that my arm was now permanently longer! I undid the transformation on my arm back to what it was before I added a little extra to the mighty oak. Now it is Yggdrasil! Look out ladies I thought narcissistically in the mirror.

I went back to the office and at behind my mahogany desk. I opened the computer and reviewed my files checking any discrepancies with my memories. Shinji was very thorough, he had notes upon notes about capture and binding techniques that would make deku and midnight shiver.

I went to a few sites and checked the price for some Australian Bullock wood, the strongest that there was back on my old world. Heroes get paid a damn fortune! The commission pays per activity and successful capture so right now I'm well off. All that cash will be invested in improving myself however I can. I can merge woods into my body to improve my own from what I can recall. Shinji did it in his youth while working with the gang to produce better product after all. He just repressed the memory because it wasn't pleasant to think about but I got a full glimpse.

Making an order that would arrive in three to five days I sat down to ponder my next actions. I googled mount lady and saw that she graduated a year ago, her social media showed that she just moved to mustafu where she plans to debut. This should take about a month or a month and a half based on how long it took others like her.

That gives me ten months before deku starts UA and plot kicks off. First order of business is to improve myself through training, recreate some moves from different series and see what I'm capable of. Next is actually train my body to get natural super strength and speed like Iwao Oguro from vigilantes.

One punch man routine won't cut it, I gotta go plus ultra to get the gains in this universe. Next step is climb the popularity polls, the original reached seventh on the chart before things went to shit. I wanna aim for top five; all might, endeavour, hawks, and Mirko will be hard to knock off their spots but best Jeanist I can compete with.

Third on my todo list is get laid, shinji only had a one night fling with a chick in UA on their graduation party then focused on his career. So many top shelf girls in this universe and I'll end up meeting them at one point or another. Though I ain't aiming for the manic cast cause they're underage, can't go around breaking the law now can I?

Fourth step is start saving away the pennies because when things go to shit I'm not ending up homeless. I know off some major events that are going to happen which I can participate in to make some extra dough after all.

Fifth is go home and have a bath because I smell like goose blood, all in all I had a very good reincarnation.