"Vaughn!"
I turn to look at the woman sat opposite me who doesn't seem to know how rude it is to shout at someone who happens be perusing merchandise.
"what? katia... cant you see that i'm busy?"
"How the fuck do you suddenly get busy half way through a conversation? yeah busy.... you mean you where eyeing the cheap whore over by the bar!" replied katia in a somewhat taciturn manner.
"you know calling someone a cheap whore isnt very kind katia, especially when said cheap whore can almost certainly hear us."
"well? what do you want me to call her? shes literally fucking working in a brothel on the 1 night a week where its advertised as being 1 hour for 2 silver!"
I stop to take another look at katia as she seems more riled up than usual, she wouldn't normally be shouting like this for no reason. I wonder what iv'e done this time? as my eyes glance over her I take in her beautiful features... she really is quite striking. she has deep purple eyes, and silky dark brown hair as well as a nice olive tint to her skin. Her face is A-symmetrical but in the good way and a little bit thinner than ideal but that comes with being a hunter.
"I swear to fucking god Vaughn, if you don't stop undressing me with your eyes I'm getting Claudia to cut you off..." sneered katia cutting off my train of thought.
"What harm does doing it with my eyes do? I've done it with my hands before." spilled from my mouth as the sides of my lips curl upwards.
"Please...for the love of all that is holy.... can you fucking pay attention to me for more than 5 seconds at a time! I mean what the fuck is wrong with you!? i bet you can't even remember what ive been talking to you about! You cant, can you?"
"That's besides the point"
"Why do I even bother? In fact, no, fuck it..... Vaughn if you hear what I have to say ill buy you a bottle of mid shelf whiskey."
With those oh so beautiful words being spoken my eyes suddenly snap back to her from the backside of the passing bar maid that they had been wandering towards. Noticing she finally has my attention she sighs and begins to show the faintest signs of smiling.
"You have my attention" i reply after quite the pause.
"so... i need your help"
"go on"
She proceeded to fill me in on the problem that she needed help with. The gist of it was that a large and dangerous group of Gnolls is hold up in a ruined old Dwarven military outpost a days horse-ride from town. this kind of job would not normally concern the likes of me and katia, however instead of the usual 20 or so Gnolls lead by a Gnoll chieftain, there was about 120 gnolls led by 4 chieftains, 2 shamans and even a fucking Gnoll king. This changed from a mission that could be completed by a C-ranked adventuring group to one that needed an F-ranked party (consisting of a balanced mix of 6 or 7 party members). Unluckily for me, the only F-ranked party in town is currently already on a quest hunting Wyverns in the mountain range 3 days ride north of here. As it turns out this resulted in the guild master requesting katia to enlist my help and then proceed to exterminate them. In theory the mans on to something.... in practice its fucking stupid. You see katia and I both come from the same 'circumstances' meaning that were both super human, resulting in us having the same combat abilities as about 3 F-ranked hunters combined. Which in theory means that we should combine to fulfill the criteria to this mission, but reality is harsh. The Reality of this theory is quite different, this theory would apply if we where fighting say a dragon or a group of wyverns or even a vampire. Thats because the party member to enemy ratio is 1:1 or 1:2. on the other hands having to fight 120 Gnolls, 4 chieftains, 2 shamans and a fucking Gnoll king makes it a severe numbers game. 1 of us by our selves would just about be able to beat a Gnoll king, however the factors in this equation put us at a harsh disadvantage. On that note though I feel that I should elaborate, disadvantage means just that, a disadvantage. It does not mean impossible, and it just so happens at my current age of 104 years old I've beaten much worse odds more times than i can count.... there also may be a small chance that i'm running out of money and without whiskey and whores the value I place on my own life swiftly diminishes. so with that long exposition over I've decided i'm going to see what I can get out of this.
"whats it worth?" I ask curtly while finishing off the bottle of whiskey she had bribed me with to get my attention.
"clearing the debt you owe me" she spat back with a blank expression.
"And with that sentence, she will soon find out how it feels to die alone watching her own liver get chewed down by a 12 foot tall bipedal fucking hyena."
Now my answer may have seemed harsh considering the fact that shes bailed me out enough times to the point that i owe her 600 gold coins (enough to buy a 5 bedroom house in the posh part of most cities), but my intuition tells me there's a lot more on the table here. so with that I followed up with....
"I want half of the real reward minus the 600 I owe you and whatever supply money i borrow to prepare."
After about 30 seconds of glaring at each other she realized it was helpless and caved. "fine...fine, 4 platinum split in half is 2 then minus 600 gold... lets make it 700. That results in... 1 platinum, 300 gold."
"Thank you" I replied nonchalantly before then raising my voice just a little, "seriously though 4 platinum? I thought it would have been 2 at max... the guild leader must really want them dead"
"well yes, they where discovered when a mage reported to the guild hall that they had attacked his convoy killing everyone except from him since he teleported away" her lips then climbed into a somewhat psychotic grin "and this convoy just so happened to contain a visiting lord".
"yep.... that would do it" i say before pouring the last of another bottle of whiskey down my throat, my eyes wondering off too the side landing on the breasts of the busty barmaid behind the bar.
After a brief pause and another relapse of my attention span I realized that katia had stood up and walked around the table to stand in front of me, my eyes refocusing and looking at her face. she leaned down so that her face was level with mine. "In all seriousness Vaughn you need fucking help. I know we've both got higher alcohol tolerances since were much more poison resistant than your average person" she stood back up lifting the empty bottle from the table and reading the label,"but this is your 6th bottle tonight... fuck.... and its the dwarven shit."
"Yeah yeah mother. we both know ill be fine until the cold night air hits me... and if my calculations are correct means I should be able to get 2 more with my last gold coin" i muttered before standing up and gaining my balance. huh maybe she is right, my legs aren't doing exactly as there told, but you know what they say 'mama didn't raise no quitter'. I then staggered off to the busty barmaid.
After about 15 minutes of flirting and another bottle of whiskey later I returned to my table to my table to find that katia was still sat there looking rather pissed off.
"Huh... I thought you would have left by now" I slurred out before ripping the cork out of my last bottle of dwarven whiskey and taking a swig.
"yeah well I would have but I kind of need you alive and well for tomorrow morning otherwise... in your words i'll found out what its like to 'die alone watching my liver being chewed down by a 12 foot tall bipedal hyena'" she said with a blank expression "now finish your drink so we can....". suddenly cutting herself off katias faced turned to that of horror as she realized that the last of the bottle was already draining into my mouth.
"done and dusted" i replied with a large grin before turning towards the door. after weaving myself through the busy room with much more finesse than should be possible for a man 6 bottles of Dwarven whiskey deep, I reached the door. bracing myself for the mess that was about to occur, i took a deep breath and turned the handle before stepping outside onto the snowy streets.
Huh thats not as bad as I thought...
I then took another step forward before I fell flat on my face with my vision cutting to dark.