"I understand. " I seriously nodded my little head.
"You are very smart izuna-kun" Mito smiled.
"but why me, why are you all helping me. " I finally asked the question that has been edging me all this time. The way I lived in my previous world had left a shadow in my heart.
I was always left and stuck in an awkward position because I didn't know how to communicate with my classmates. Neither was I rich nor did I follow the trends. I was always an outcast but still nobody helped me . Nobody invited me in their friend circles. I tried to talk and make friends but... the situation would always become awkward. but I had a very good brain and my marks were excellent. There was a girl who was nice to me and asked for my notes.
I gave it to her not because she was a girl or was being nice to me..... I just wanted to change myself and I thought, if I became friends with her then.... maybe, people will see me in a new light. But.... she was only using me because I was an ' easy target' she said.
"A loner otaku will do anything to talk to a girl" she said. I thought she was nice and all and..... maybe I could have become friends with her.... but turns out I was being too optimistic.
I tried.... I really tried but now I am getting tired . Why change myself because of someone else's opinion?
I still don't understand why people avoided me.... Was it because I lived in the slumps, was it because I didn't follow their trends or was it because I was an otaku... I don't understand...but now out of nowhere, these people are trying to help me..... why?
"BECAUSE YOU REMIND ME OF MY DAD. " a voice interrupts the silence.
" He was like you too. He always does whatever he thought was right just like you ,who just run away without explaining and...
He was a good actor, just like you.
My dad was just a troublesome kid ever since his parents died early in a war .The elders always disliked him... But one day, a person enter his life, my stubborn dad stopped acting stubborn and told all of his worries to that person and that person will always hear him out, from the beginning to the end... without complaining and that person was my mother.
Everything changed and the most troublesome kid became the most hardworking.
The village started to change their views about him and soon the village most troublesome kid became the village leader.... After that, the boy and the woman got married.
On their wedding night. The woman suddenly asked him why he was so stubborn when he was a kid. The boy replied that he was stubborn because the boy wanted to change. He didn't wanted to be a trouble maker anymore..... he wanted to change but nobody gave him a chance. He thought that since nobody cares about him than why should he cares? since the villagers had already categorised him as a naughty and
unruly child in their heart..
So he stop caring and became the child that fits his image.
Nobody tried to give him a chance..... Nobody listen to him, until he met my mom and this changed his life. "
A peaceful voice entered my mind.
"I don't know much about your problems or worries..... but I will listen to all of it...
So stop acting like you don't care.....
because inside your heart.... You really care.
This isn't the real you. " the woman suddenly hugged me.
"Your acting is bad..... really bad. " she whispers."I found it out in an instance. "
Tear started falling on my clothes.
"Why..... am I crying...? " wasn't I numb to these feelings? I looked up and saw that these tears weren't mine...
why is she crying....
Is it for me? my tears started to fall.....
Why... was I always being avoided there..... and.... now... Why do they care for me so much... to a total stranger..... to a person who shamelessly eat their restaurant food for years without even paying.... to a person who doesn't even appreciate their kindness...
"You never smiled...
even when I told you that you were almost about to die....
You never appreciated being alive after coming back from the doors of death...
your eyes are bright...but they can't hide your loneliness. " a voice full of sorrow resounded in my ears.
That's right, I never wanted to be alone.....
I always wanted to depend on someone...
I always wanted someone , who will listen to my worries.... ever since I was an orphan at the orphanage... but no one came so...
I started becoming stubborn....falsely convinced myself that I CAN ONLY DEPEND ON MYSELF.... even after coming to this world I always acted like I did in my previous world...
acted like I am bored or don't care so that they can't see my Insecurities..... so that they won't see the real me, I lock my true self and started to avoid it..... but....this woman destroyed all of my facades and became someone whom I can trust, someone I can depend... After only meeting for only a short while..... she saw my true self, my insecurities. but she didn't laugh at me or ignored me like the others but..
... she cared for me... she cried for me....
... even though she could have just ignored me like the rest did.
My tears started falling from my eyes and I started crying... maybe I didn't like being alone
that's why I don't liked death....
"Call me grandma from now on." she hugged me tighter and I fell asleep in her arms peacefully.