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Chapter 35 - Insecurities

2 days later

Jesy has been thinking about the powerful session she had with Kayla that left her with many unanswered questions about her life , luckily she was having a session with Kayla today and planned to let every emotion she had within her come out and express it freely. While she was preparing all things she and Kayla would need for their session , the door bell rang and Jesy limped to open the door for who ever was ringing and when she opened the door it was Kayla with a big warm smile . Jesy had realized from there first session that she really loved to smile , she looked at her for sometime before allowing her to enter and make her self home and went to finish preparing everything . After that she went with the items and sat in comfortable position in the couch and said " How are you doing Kayla?"Kayla replied with " I have been great , but how are you feeling after our last session because I saw that you were trying not to be emotional ."

Jesy: "Well I have been having so many questions wondering in my mind."

Kayla: " About what exactly?"

Jesy: " About my life , how my whole twenty seven years of living have been horrible."

Kayla:" Why do you say that?"

Jesy:" I mean don't get me wrong , I do love what I do but it just takes a toll at me, I don't know my family history honestly if it wasn't for Jayden been in my life keeping me mental sane I would have committed suicide."

Kayla:" Don't say that."

Jesy:"it... t...r...u...e." Jesy said with a shaky voice because it felt like she has nothing to live for in this world and that she just addicted to always hurting her self with reading all the nasty comments about herself in the articles and magazines, Kayla handed her a tissue to wipe her tears and then continued to ask questions after Jesy had calmed down

Kayla: You said your life style takes a toll on your mental health in our last session can you please care to elaborate on that

Jesy:" I meant everything the fame takes me to an mental rollacoster from everyone cyber bullying me , from not having a break because you're constantly working without no break, the record label I am signed with just makes me do things I don't even I want to do forgetting that I am also a human being like everyone

Kayla: " What has this impacted on you

Jesy:" I have resulted in drinking alcohol to cover up my pain and I have had panic attacks out of the blue

Kayla:" Don't that tell you about the way you live

Jesy:" It does

Kayla: " What's that.

Jesy:" I am in an unhealthy environment and I am just living life in a very hurtful way

Kayla:" Good , so throughout this experience will try and help you live life in a way you want to live and help you learn your mother's history and meet your grandparents

Jesy:"Okay."

Kayla:" You say Jayden keeps mental insane , how does he do that

Jesy:"He is my happiness even if he has his own problems but I just love him like a drug , in conclusion I can just say he makes me happy , I cannot live with out him and I am just in love with bad boyz with all their problems

Kayla: " Don't you think it will get toxic for a relationship

Jesy:" I do sometimes fear that our love will get toxic and when it does we won't even realize it will be too late for us to notice."

Kayla:" I understand your points , so I want you to write a song about your love for bad boyz and your past and everything in your life ."

Right after she said that her clock beeped and she packed her stuff and went to her next session