Hina woke up with a ringing noise in her head and a throbbing pain that sent her vision dancing. She doubted she was hungover; although Gen had ordered several rounds of beer for the table last night, Hina had made sure she didn't get carried away while drinking and she had surely not been drunk when coming back home.
She kept having this terrible feeling in her gut that made her feel like something was inherently wrong. It felt like she was missing an important part of the novel but she didn't know what exactly it was. What had she overlooked? What was she forgetting?
"Lady Hina, it's almost breakfast time" Suki said as she walked in, drawing the curtains open while the other maids began to draw her a bath.
"Okay"
"Did you sleep well, my lady?" Suki inquired, pouring her a glass of lemon water to drink.
"Yes, I did" Hina replied, the pain was slowly subsiding but not that irritating feeling of forgetfulness.
"Here, drink this.." Suki handed the glass to her.
Suki's relationship with Hina had gotten even better over the years and there was nothing more she could wish for. The lady treated her much better than her family ever did. She listened to her problems and she would occasionally spend her money to get some nice clothes for her. She had even gone as far as to pay off Suki's family's debts. Suki was eternally grateful for all the small and big things, which was why she wanted to be more useful to lady Hina. However, she sometimes felt like the lady was holding back from her. More like she didn't want to trouble others with her problems because she thought it would be burdensome. Even now, Suki could sense that something was bothering the lady but she could not help her if the lady was not willing to tell her about it.
After taking some painkillers and having a warm bath, Hina padded to the dining room for breakfast.
The dining table was covered with some of her favourite foods and the delicious aroma hung in the air but Hina couldn't seem to digest her meal. The food tasted bland in her mouth with every spoon she took and she was still racking her head for a missing piece of something.
In a worried daze, she was barely listening to the words either Kai or Tanny were saying.
A brief moment later, the doors of the dining room flew open with a loud bang, startling the three of them seated at the table, as they turned in the direction of the commotion. The head maid wobbled in, barely catching her breath as beads of sweat were gathered on her forehead. She cast a look around the room, a sad expression fitting across her features as she found it hard to word out what she needed to tell them. The unexpected news had hit her like a hard wave and she was still in denial of what she had just found out.
"What's going on? What's the meaning of all this?" Kai asked, watching the woman's unusual behaviour.
"What's wrong, nanny?" Tanaka asked in a softer approach, concern splashing all over her face as she stared at the elderly woman.
It was the first time that the woman's conventional unreadable mask and calm demeanour were utterly shattered. She wore an expression that Hina had never thought she would see on her face and from that one look on the head maid's face, that was all Hina needed to recall the missing piece and she instantly knew what was happening.
That was a part of her 'gift'.
Or maybe it was a 'curse'.
Either way, she already knew this scene even without it being explained in the novel. She knew what the woman was going to say but she inwardly hoped she would be wrong. For Tanaka's and Kai's sake, she needed to be wrong.
_____
"I'm afraid I have some...bad news to deliver. Something terrible has happened"
The previously noisy dining room went icy silent at the head maid's voice. Those few quiet seconds that lingered felt like a lifetime and Hina felt like she could hear her heartbeat, louder than the grandfather clock.
"What's the terrible news?" Kai asked impatiently.
After a moment of silence, she finally said "The merchant is dead", looking at the three of them as she spoke. The gasping and whispers of shock could be heard floating across the maids that had gathered at the sight.
Hina was unsure what emotion she had on her face. Grief? No. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Numbness? Definitely. Shock? Fear? Yes...a bit of those two combined. It suddenly made sense why she had this restless feeling and why she had been feeling like she was forgetting something important; a final piece to the puzzle. The first step to the real start of the novel; Hina was a young widow, which inevitably meant that her husband needed to die for the novel to begin.
Although it was never explained when and how he died, guilt washed over her and she blamed herself for this tragedy. If only she had realised it sooner, she might have somehow found a way to stop him from travelling. Though she had her reasons to feel that way, she could never explain it to anyone. She a hundred per cent knew that they'd all look at her like she was stark raving nuts if she told them she 'knew' the future.
"What? Wait, no... how did it happen?" She heard Kai ask through a sheer confused state, struggling to get his thoughts and words together as he shook his head in disbelief. He and his father had been on the roughest patch since his mother's death and the two had never found the time to talk things through or come to some sort of understanding. Regardless of all the differences between the two, the merchant was still his father and she couldn't begin to imagine the way he must be feeling at the moment upon stumbling over such shocking news.
"It was said to be a robbery gone wrong. Bandits had cornered his carriage while he was out ..."
Hina tried to listen to what the head maid was saying, picking through the words that seemed to be shuffling around in her brain, not connecting in sentences. She felt detached from the drama encircling her, as if she were somewhere else looking down on the entire scene unfold, watching a play, maybe. Someone else's tragedies.
"It's a lie. Tell me you're lying" Tanaka pleaded, "Are you saying that...my father is dead? I'll never get to see him again dead?! Are you sure you're not mistaken?" Tanaka asked, her eyes looking like glass as the tears filled up.
"I'm sorry..." the head maid managed to mumble through her own feeling of loss and despair.
Tanaka threw her napkin on the table, rushing up to her room as her maid followed behind her.
"I should go and check up on Tanaka. Please excuse me" the head maid said, slowly regaining her composure as she bowed and hurried out of the dining hall.
Hina sat there, feeling heartbroken for Tanaka who had adored her father more than any other thing in this world. She hated to admit it but she cared more about the fact that Tanaka had just lost her father over the actual loss of her 'husband'. Their warm happy breakfast time came to an end all in a moment and all that remained was this choking atmosphere.
"Hina.." Kai's voice called her name soothingly as he asked, "are you okay? You look pale" despite the obvious pain in his voice, he couldn't help but worry about her.
"Umm..no, I just need some time to process this news.." she rubbed over her forehead, gathering the strength in her legs and forcing herself up as she retreated to her chambers. She closed the door behind her, nearly collapsing against the door panels once she was alone. She had indeed wished death on the merchant several times before but now that it had happened she didn't know how to feel.
[Damn it! I can't believe this is happening]
It was too late to regret anything now and she had to start preparing for a funeral. The moment was painfully ironic and it felt like the universe was messing with her. She often enjoyed novels that began with tragedy and now her life as a character in one was beginning just the way she liked them.