On Saturday morning, Penelope woke up pressed right up against Roman's chest. He was holding her tightly in his sleep and their legs were tangled together.
She tilted her head to look at his face and felt her heart constrict. How could somebody be so attractive even while they were sleeping? It wasn't fair to the other mere mortals around him.
Her heart was racing from the closeness. She hadn't initiated anything since making her decision to truly become Penelope Cross but she hadn't rejected anything either. The cuddles, hand-holding, and kisses were all fairly innocent but her heart went crazy every time.
Roman was too attractive for his own good. How on earth had he ended up with her other self of all people? She was pretty enough but had never been considered a true beauty.
She wasn't quite sure how he had fallen for her anyway. The journals seemed to indicate that it had happened so slowly he hadn't realized it was happening until it there was no going back but never went into much detail.
Well, they were from other Penelope's perspective. Anything he told her was probably in relation to a question she had asked.
Roman was very open with his affections but less so with what was actually on his mind as far as she had noticed. She was sure his real wife knew why and how he had fallen in love with her but hadn't bothered writing it down.
He opened his eyes and caught her staring at him with a sleepy smile. "Good morning, beautiful."
"Good morning," she said softly, trying not to blush at the compliment. Before she could stop herself, the question that had been plaguing her was already out of her mouth. "How did you fall in love with me?"
Roman chuckled slightly and kissed her forehead. "I think I told you this when we were first dating."
"Yeah, but it doesn't hurt to hear it again." Especially since she never physically heard it in the first place. It would be a helpful thing to know moving forward.
"You were my first real friend," he said nostalgically. "I didn't know it at the time but you had already imprinted yourself onto my heart way back then. You were different than everyone else."
"Different how?"
"You were the only person in my life who didn't have any expectations for me. All you cared about was spending time together. Nobody else in my life was like that at the time."
Penelope's heart ached hearing that. Partly because it hinted at having a very difficult childhood because they hadn't met until he was twelve. That was a long time to go without a real friend.
But it also hurt to hear because he was talking about someone else entirely. She hadn't been his first friend. She hadn't held her hand out to a lonely boy or grown up with him. All of the memories that made him love his wife were with someone else.
He wouldn't love her anymore if he knew the truth. He would probably feel pretty betrayed. Percy was right that losing his wife would break him.
She could never tell him. Having made her choice, Penelope would have to spend the rest of her life accepting love meant for someone else.
She might be similar to the woman he loved in personality and looks but any new memories they made together wouldn't compare to the original ones. They had been in each other's lives for eighteen years.
Would she be a proper replacement for Penelope Cross if she and Roman made more than eighteen years' worth of memories together now that she was here? Would that make a difference at all?
She already knew she was a fake so this shouldn't hurt as much as it did. Besides, his wife had been letting him down for a couple of years at least already because of her workaholic tendencies and inconsideration. Penelope would treat him better than that so why did she feel so horribly guilty?
"Penny?" Roman prodded gently.
"Sorry, I zoned out for a second there. We really have had each other's backs for a long time, haven't we?" she replied a bit wistfully.
He held her closer. "Yeah. And I hope we will forever."
Feeling tears coming on, Penelope excused herself to go to the bathroom and said she would make waffles for breakfast. She took a few minutes in front of the mirror to collect herself. She had been the one who asked; she should have expected this.
What was she even crying for? She didn't love Roman. She hadn't been here long enough for that. There was no rational reason for her to be upset right now.
The problem was looking to the future. Because she was certain that if he kept being so wonderful that she would fall in love with him someday and he would still be in love with the memory of someone else.
What was the point of crying about something that hadn't even happened yet? Penelope frantically brushed away her tears and headed downstairs to make breakfast. Roman had beaten her down there and started without her.
"I said I would make breakfast," she pointed out.
He shrugged. "I wanted to help. It goes faster that way."
She couldn't argue with his logic so she let him be. The kitchen was large enough that they didn't even bump into each other while separately working on the wet and dry ingredients.
It wasn't until Penelope opened the waffle maker that she realized it was a bit different than a normal one. There were shapes for a crab, a dolphin, and a seahorse inside. She blinked at it in shock. That had been unexpected.
"Where did we get this waffle maker again? I forget," she lied.
Roman laughed. "Harry gave it to us as a wedding present. He said it was the weirdest thing he could find in the kitchen appliance section of Zoom."
Zoom was this world's version of Amazon. Their website sold pretty much anything you could possibly think of, including sea-animal-shaped waffle makers, apparently.
"Right. That sounds like Harry," Penelope said even though she hadn't actually met the man.
According to the journals, he was quite the character. He had been friends with Roman for about half of his life now and never dated a woman for more than six months. Other Penelope was convinced he would still be dating around when he was eighty.