"Penny, why did you pack a lunch? You always buy something out of the vending machines," Alison pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
Penelope flushed. She could never afford to buy lunch so she was in the habit of packing her own. She had made a sandwich with whole wheat bread, turkey, and some of the cheese they bought over the weekend.
She packed a banana too because she loved them and whatever grocery store the Crosses used had far superior produce to the cheap one she went to back home. She had gone through a lot of quality bananas since coming here.
"Roman and I went to a gourmet cheese store over the weekend and I've been trying to use up what we bought," Penelope said. It wasn't even a lie.
"Oooh is it that one out in Somis? I've been there! Sarah was so excited about feeding the llamas," Cici said with a smile before taking a bite of her own lunch.
"…they had llamas?" Richard asked incredulously. "What kind of cheese store is this?"
"One in a more rural area, apparently," Max said with his mouth full, making Alison roll her eyes at him.
The conversation went from llamas to that Disney movie she loved where a man was transformed into a llama to Disneyland to churros. This group clearly had a great rapport since nobody was confused by how quickly the topics were changing but Penelope.
She figured it was a better idea to sit back and let everybody else talk than try to contribute herself and focused on happily consuming her lunch. The sandwich was delicious. That was the power of rich people ingredients for you.
These guys were actually pretty funny and the energy of the group as a whole was good. Penelope could see why her other self was such good friends with them.
Were all creative people this fun? She remembered enjoying doing group work with some of her classmates in college because they had the most hilarious ideas. She had really missed out by not finishing her degree.
The only coworker she could even consider herself close to between her two jobs was Jack and that was only because they shared a cubicle and cracked up over how terrible some customers could be together. She wasn't friendly with anyone at the drugstore.
As much as she would enjoy hanging out with Jack outside of work, they had never crossed that boundary into deeper friendship (or something more, as she had hoped so desperately before coming here).
The difference between her life and Penelope Cross's really was pathetic if you thought about it and not only in terms of financial freedom. She had never cared all that much about fancy things; she had only wanted to be able to provide for herself without being under a mountain of debt.
Her life would have been so much different if she had finished college. If she had known her dad was going to live as long as he did after being diagnosed…would she have made the decision to finish school?
She could have gone home and taken whatever job to help pay the bills and spent his last few years with him. The difference would have been that after everything was over she would have a degree so a real career would have been possible.
Even if she did have to work two jobs to pay off all that debt, at least one of them would have been something she enjoyed. That alone would have made such a huge difference.
Penelope sighed. Hindsight could be cruel.
She couldn't have known what was going to happen and ended up making the choices that led her to such a sorry state. If she hadn't quit school, she wouldn't have lost her volleyball friends either. Then when her dad passed away she wouldn't have been so isolated.
Even the tiniest bit of moral support would have been life changing. Instead, she shouldered everything on her own as her family was falling apart.
What was she left with? At age twenty-six, she had more debt than she could ever pay off, a mother she didn't know how to help, and a brother who refused to admit he was grieving. She had no friends, no career, and no love life.
It took coming here and seeing what her life could have been to realize how bad things had gotten. Sitting here with the other Penelope's friends at the kind of job she could have had made her want to cry.
Penelope made it through the end of lunch and returned to her tutorial videos for the rest of the day. Marianne apologized for making her sit around waiting but she hadn't finished the other thing she needed to do.
She didn't mind one bit. Having time to watch the tutorials and practice implementing those skills in the programs themselves was a lifesaver.
She was seized with dread when it was time to clock out, having completely forgotten about the potential confrontation with Roman awaiting her when she got home. She decided to try and smooth things over with a bribe.
She knew he liked spicy things so she ordered some jalapeño poppers to pick up on her way back to the house. As she drove, she rehearsed what to say.
His car was already in the garage when she arrived so she mentally prepared herself by taking a deep breath before opening the door. Roman was waiting for her with his arms tightly crossed over his chest and a scowl.
Her heart nearly stopped. He pulled off the angry look very well.
'Stupid! Don't fall victim to his looks at a time like this!' Penelope scolded herself before holding the takeout bag in front of her and bowing slightly so she didn't have to meet his eyes. "I'm so so sorry about what happened with my boss and I promise I won't do anything like that ever again!"
To her great relief, Roman took the bag. She still didn't dare look up but heard the crinkling of paper and knew he was opening it.
"You got me jalapeño poppers?" he asked flatly.
"…yes. As a sign of my sincerity. I lost my head a little because I really wanted to go to that conference. You know how hard I worked to get chosen and—"
Roman cut her off. "So you know what you did wasn't okay but you did it anyway."
Her blood ran cold. He sounded much more upset than the time she avoided him. She had never heard him sound so serious. The Cross couple was already having problems before she came along…were her actions the straw that broke the camel's back?