I was brought to a room in some small town. It was a girl's room, the smell of nail-polish and light perfume lingered in it. Not to mention the over stocked plushies and teddybears or dogs or whatever crossbred animal they was suppose to be in likeness of. And then there was the color scheme, pink and white. So beyond the fact that there was barely enough room for anything apart from miniature occupants of the room and furnishing, and that the room was in pink no one could prove me wrong.
This had to be a girl's room, but the fact that I was handcuffed to a chain that was bolted to a metal plate which in turn was secured to the floor made me doubt that this was any "ordinary" girl's room.
Why did Ginger bring me here? The large window was open and the air even smelled different from the city.
Was she over confident or did she have some other reason why she kidnap me and leave me in a room where the was a large open window?
Suddenly what she'd said to me before came back to me, "you're now officially a criminal just like me."
"Damn it." I cursed to myself.
Even though the chance to escape is fight in front of me I can't do anything.
In any normal situation a guy probably would have enjoyed.... Coming...here.
I wouldn't have though...
Normally I wouldn't be able to leave my house, because of what happened...
If 001 hadn't lead me out, I probably wouldn't have been able to leave the house...
I tugged at the chain and again and again....
This is her room isn't it?
What did I get myself into?
The feelings that riddled me daily that had been forced back because of fear of my life slowly crawled back, filling me up.
Filling me up and flowing over. A black thick water like feeling...
Disgust...
Disgusted because of everything, that had happened... And how I did nothing to stop it even though I knew that things would've only escalated.
The past came back to me in surreal and vivid colors.
Ginger was my childhood friend and we were inseparable , you could call it puppy love and you wouldn't have been wrong or exactly right. It was love between friends that could only be described in some essence as pure.
But the day came when we were separated. We knew it would happen, The very thing we promised we'd never be.
Ginger's parents decided to move, probably because of work I don't know but... She was devastated...
Even though we were small and barely knew anything of love, being separated felt like death and back then we even tried to kill ourselves together just to avoid the feeling of being separated.
I chuckled lightly to myself.
It wasn't like we could really do something like that, we were only venting our frustrations, I mean... We were little so there's no way we would or could, but...
We felt what our separation would feel like before it even happened and neither of us liked it.
But it happened anyway...
And I watched as she looked out from the back of that car's glass...
The evening sunlight glimmering thought the tears on her face as they drove off in the distance.
And just like that she was gone.
We didn't talk much over the phone but...
Those feelings I had for her were special, and for five years I cherished them... Relishing the thought of seeing her again until. I couldn't bare being without her any longer.
And in a frenzy of my own outburst of feelings I hurried to call her to tell her how I felt.
But...
When the call did make it through, she picked up and "I don't want to talk to anyone right now," and dial tone....
I stood there for seemingly hours... At a loss for words, the phone at my ear and an endless dial tone.
The shock of my feelings being shot down like that by the very person I loved was too much.
A little while after that I realized,
-I must have been a bother to her after all... Forcing my feelings on her even though it had been so long.-
The loss kept me in a state of withdrawal for a while, until my friends finally managed to cheer me up.
That's when it all started, the healing, the forgetting and the change.
But then...
About a year after that when my life had somewhat returned to normal and while walking with my friends I ran into her.
6 years...
She'd changed but I recognized her right away, even though she'd let her hair grow out and was even taller than me. I just knew it was her, I was so happy that I swore I smiled but... she looked into my eyes with what could only be described as... disgust.
She'd returned.
And our little habit of going to each other's home and welcoming them before our separation died, and for the last time, as she walked past me like I was a stranger... I whispered to myself.
"welcome...home..."
And thought
-it really is over isn't it-
She had changed.
And at that time I failed to realize because of my own selfish reasons that, while I was surrounded by my friends...
She...
Was alone...
So its my fault why she's like this now, I did it to her and no matter how I try to lie to myself, the truth will always be the same....
My fault.
..................