"So, you're like, the fucking devil? Like him? Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub- Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Deadpool's eyes shined in child-like wonder with a tint of murderous jealousy as well as a 'damn this guys is hot but also a danger to my probably future life with my future husband, take this threat out or sleep with him' confusion qs he held his mask in one hand and a large sandwich on the other. "Uh?" Vince, who had an extra pair of arms grown out of his side held onto the two large sandwiches on his four hands, one feeding the stomach mouth he grew to eat while his mouth-mouth also ate the other sandwich: "Of course no." He kept talking while his tongue grew teeth and started to destroy the sandwich he was eating previously.
"How do you do that?" Spider-Man asked curiously, he had the lower half of his mask lifted to reveal his mouth as he ate his own sandwich that was at least a foot long. "What'chu mean?" This time it was the mouth on his stomach that spoke, while the main mouth was occupied chewing. "That's really creepy..." Spider-Man whispered before shoving his mouth down on the footlong, and not letting this opportunity to tease him go, Vince chuckled, both mouths saying at the same time: "You go down hard on a footlong don't you, Cum Boy? Talk about experience!" Deadpool immediately spilled out his lunch as he began to cough, Spidey also choked on his food while Vince was laughing himself to death on the side. "Wow, choking? I thought you were a professional!" He was already stabbed by Deadpool thrice as he was saying this joke, his skin could not be damaged by the knives.
"Fuck-" Spider-Man coughed out the last bit of food that went down the wrong hole in his throat before panting. "Don't-"
"Sorry, Sorry~" Vince smirked both victoriously and cheesily, making sure Deadpool looked at him: "I just like teasing people, m'kay? It's easy to me, and i can get some funny reactions from people!" His tail swag around before elongating and trying to steal Wade's sandwich- "Hey, that's mine!" Jumping after it was a mistake, because they were on the edge of a building, siting down on it and looking down at the unsleeping city below them. "Fuck-" Wade slipped off, it wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last, but Spider-Man was already ready to catch him when a gust of wind pulled the guy back and let him float in the air. "Hey! I can fly!? I feel like Marry Poppins!" He was about to immitate her pose when Vince just snapped his fingers and Wade was just back beside them. "Nope- i did that, baby~" Blowing a kiss to the still lying Deadpool, Vince patted his hands on each other to get rid of the crumbles on his palms before geting up and stretching, his bones cracking at his command as his mouth on his stomach closed and all those sharp teeth sank back into his body.
"Welp, i think I'll go exploring around New York... Huh, i don't have any way to contact you. Well, guess we'll see each other in the future, I'll make sure to visit you two lovebirds-" he pulled Wade up with his tail right into his pecs, making sure to hug his head onto his chest before pulling him up to his height before giving him a mind-blowing wet French kiss. Wade's eyes widened as it happened, but he couldn't resist how sweet and hot it was, he just forgot where he was for a moment but he came back to his senses when he was pulled back by a force and fell right into Spidey's arms. "Wow, someone's jealous~?" Wade was still dizzy by the kiss, but he soon reacted when he saw the devil also kiss his Spidey!
He was about to pull Spidey back when that damn tail teasingly slapped him on his ass, making him groan and let an 'eeep!' of surprise before he agrily attacked the homewrecker that was trying to steal his heart and Spidey's heart! The sword just... Didn't hit, because before it could, he was gone. "Fucker!" Wade shouted before turning to look at his Peter- Who was dizzy just as he was a few seconds ago.
Later that night they would each find a little white paper in their costume with a little red devil signed: [Always free for a hookup~ Just call me, when i somehow get a phone... Stealing sounds cool.]
Spider-Man and Deadpool: ... *blush*
-Scene Cut-
"[C'mon Eddie, we want McDonalds.]" A deep and guttural voice echoed inside Eddie's head, making the man sigh as he said: "Venom, it's 3 in the morning!" But the Parasit- i mean, Symbiote ignored him by manifesting one of its black tendrils out and smacking Eddie's ass with it, chanting inside his head: "[McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!]" Like a child, he still regrets letting Venom use the internet while he's asleep. "Okay, okay, okay!" He sighed as he got up from his mess of a bed into a mess that was his apartment, there were also two chikens Venom got to eat but somehow he got attached to them and now they live here and shit everywhere. "Let me just put on something that doesn't make me look ugly or something..."
In the end, Venom turned into a black hoodie for him, hugging his body comfortably while he walked out of his apartment- he looked like a wreck honestly, it's been a few weeks since he moved back into New York and it's been a hard time finding a job for himself after that fiasco at the Life Foundation with Riot and shit. Now that they're here at the nearest McDonalds, and as he entered the place with his head turned down he couldn't see the person standing before him and neither did Venom see, since he was fighting what to order with Eddie inside their head, they only noticed that there was someone before them when they smashed against the wall of muscles that the man before them was. "Oof!" Eddie was so out of shape that he fell back with the impact, and when he opened his eyes he saw a large red-skinned demon just before him- "Did i just die from bumping against someone..." He sincerely asked out loud, because he was sure that he would go to hell if it existed in the first place.
"What?" The demon chuckled as he lowered himself down to the ground where he was and when he was about to touch him, Venom lashed out with an attack to protect him- "[Get away from my Eddie!]" But the demon only looked at the symbiote's head that sprouted from Eddie's shoulder with a raised eyebrow before his eyes lit up with a strange light as he quickly grasped Venom and pulled him. "Oh my Satan you're so adorable!" Eddie was so lost, he even wondered out loud: "Am i just... Dreaming?" But then Venom was shouting at him: "[Eddie! Help!]" While stretching his body up closer to him- he knew they could be forcefully separated, but this time it didn't hurt like when Riot pulled Venom out of his body. "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" He got up and was about to pull Venom when there was a voice saying: "Uhm... Sir? Your order's ready..." The demon guy instantly let go of Venom and turned back to the employee saying: "Thank you~" And turning back- "Oh, right, whatever they're having, I'll pay! As an... apology? Yes, sorry for stealing him like that, it's just- he's so cute i couldn't control myself. I hope you'll exuse me, right? After all, his human is just as cute~"
[Eddie, your heart's faster]
[Shut up. I know! No one hot ever flirts with me, i look like a fucking hobo wreck]
[But you're my hobo wreck.]
[But he's hot! Like, look at him, he looks hot and scary and-] Their discussion was interrupted bybthe coughing of the McDonald's employee who was not paid enough to care that a Demon and a black alien thing just entered the shop, making their order the symbiote host duo waited patiently as a Hot Demon watched from a table that was too small for him- it looked kinda comic from there, he sitting there just toppling above the table and somehow still fitting sitting there without breaking anything. "Umh, Hi." Eddie felt awkward at himself for not knowing what to say to the hot Demon, but thankfully Venom saved him of this weird situation by taking over his body for a second: "[We're still angry at you pulling hs apart from each other, but we'll forgive you for now...]" They ordered a few hamburgers and fries, Venom loved to eat things and he would not let this opportunity go!
"Sorry for, y'know, milking you off of your money..." Eddie tried to apologize, but he was shut quickly by the smirking devil as he said: "Well, lcky for you, i like being milked~"
[Eddie, you're getting hard.]
[I know- Fuck!]
McDonald's Employee: I'm not paid enough to care.
-Flashback Ends-
On a beach in South America, stood the red Devil known as Vince Vermont wearing absolutely nothing as he remembered the date he had with Eddie just yesterday, but does sunglasses count as wearing? Anyway, he was in a nudist beach, not caring that there were many men and women there just staring at his large and bulky body while he laid on his back and let the sun bathe his muscles and wild mane of a black hair, since he decided to make it bigger and longer with his shapeshifting ability. He also pondered going on another little date night with Venom, but this one to go around New York and maybe eat people's flesh- he never had human before. "Well, you're not exactly hard to find." Without opening his eyes he just smiled and chuckled: "Well, i didn't know there was a fanclub for me already~" His tail rose from the sand, split itself into four different tails with each containing the stinger poiting just to the throat of four different people he could tell were there for him.
"So, what can I do for Shield?" He opened his eyes to look up at them- He quickly identified them based on memories of his past life, they were Agent Coulson, Natasha Romanoff the Black Widow, Clint Barton the Hawkeye, and another man he couldn't identify. They were all wearing clothes sadly, so he just huffed and pulled back his tails to sink into the sand again before sitting down. "Well, that's boring, you're in a Nudist Beach please have some decency and get naked already." As he said those words, he controlled the wind around their bodies to act sharp and cut their clothes to shreds and in a small breeze he got them completely naked! The precision necessary to do this was incredible, and he had gotten up to that level after years of training. "Now you all look decent enough." He smirked as the sand beneath his feet moved and danced beneath his body and solidified as it turned into a chair.
No- A throne.
He was sitting there, looking down at them as he clearly stated his power! He cut their clothes to shreds, meaning he could kill them in an instant, and he coule also control the environment to a high level since he clearly made extra chairs for them as well, and they looked like smooth sandstone and not sand at all. "Well, come on, don't be shy just because we're naked! I mean, it's not like I'll eat you, right?" He crossed his legs, his testicles and thick penis rested softly against his legs as he placed his head onto his knuckle that rested upon the arm of the throne, making him assume a lazy posture. "Well..." Like a professional spy, Nick Fury swore: "Motherfuckingly great! Goddammit- Fuck, okay, okay... Listen, bitch, we heard from a little friend of ours that you are a very special and dangerous and powerful and whatnot bitching fucker, so we came here to try to talk to yo bitch-ass-" Okay, Nick Fury was acting a little strange... He was nervous? Oh, he was nervous.
Why?
"Okay, got it, wanna talk?" He spread his wings, letting the sand return to sand, making all the swat dissappear: "Well then, let's talk!" And he did something he hasn't done in a while- he became air wrapped himself around them, stored them inside himself and Teleportated to an isolated place before releasing them all. "Well, let's hear it!" This time they were on the Middle of the Sea, he knew they were isolated from anything around and he made the water beneath their feet solid with his control over it. "Well..."
-Scene Cut-