lost the battle of reality?

Age will be 9 then. The only daughter of my parents. I am also very good at studying. All in all I was quite happy with my life. But as I got older, I realized that something was changing in my life. But I couldn't catch it.When I couldn't catch it, I didn't try to force it anymore. Let's go as it is. It will be seen what will happen. But I think it would be nice if I could catch a little that day. Anyway, I had a lot of friends at that time, I would make friends with anyone I liked. But I felt bad when I saw my friends talking about such things and all the gossip went over my heads. Then I would get very angry with myself. Why am I so bullish. Nothing will happen by me. I could mix with everyone, but I would leave when everyone was talking about something. I didn't understand then that the reality thing is very difficult. I thought it would be seen. Life was beautiful. I could open my mind and smile. I used to have a good time with my parents. I was so bullish that I thought this was life. what a comfort no problems. Life goes on like a flowing river. But I never thought that the road of that river was completely narrow.