I'm scared.
Who is Montgomery Greer?
I'm with the antichrist? Besujia is across from him. I could sit on the floor. I don't have much to do. What am I here for?
My last name is McCoy. I guess I give that up now. Where is my body? Do I ask the antichrist?
"Where is my body?" I require. "Your body is mine. It is mine like no other. We are one." states both voices. "What does that mean?"
"You are retarded." she hisses. "Yahoska already had one kid with Cottonmouth. She had you by Montygomery." she scoffed. "You were an accident."
"Fuck you."
"Amen."
"I want out!"
"Out?" Besujia raised a brow. "Again. You are retarded."
"Bitch!"
"Amen. This body is mine. Obayifo..." she tilted her head to the side. "Your father claims to love you but I need to know why?"
"Why?" I threw my head back. "I don't even know my daddy."
"You were supposed to be my daughter..." Besujia's eyes glowed. "So, your body is forfeit."
"What does that mean?"
"Sacrifice." she said. "Montgomery seems to love you tho. You would be the fifth child offered to me." her eyes expanded.
"How many kids does daddy have?"
"Stolen or birthed? Stolen, about six. Birth, just you."
"I'm the only daughter?" that's hard to believe. "What about CC?"
"CC. Is not your blood," she looks off to the side. "But another responsibility. She's not a cousin but stilll stood in the house of a vamp. You get me?"
"Why are you naked--"
"PAY ATTENTION!" gust hit my face with the force of her voice. "DO YOU HEAR ME? TORI!"
"Yeah..." I'm not trembling. "Cedrica. Alexis. Is not a sista. She sat in the house of angels and her father is nigga. She's Mable's granddaughter. Davea's Great granddaughter and Shiloh's daughter. Do you understand?" she blinked. "You don't have shit in common with her."
"But she lived with me."
Besujia shook her head. She pointed at me, "YOU lived with her. What does that mean?"
"I can't be..."
"Why?" she sneered at me. "Because like..." I looked at my toes then back at the antichrist. "Adoptions have returns like she didn't turn in my birth certificate."
"Are you being funny with me?" she squinted.
"Nah, like... if I wasn't wanted she would have turned me in."
"Cause your a juice box." she turned and the bloody ground lifted like spikes. The spikes fell and rose rhythmically. "Come here you stupid girl. Look in the puddle."
"I ain't stupid."
"Yo daddy retarded and still don't know how his nuts work."
I rolled my eyes and followed through her words. I looked at the picture on the ground. It was CC's face. She had deep creases around her lips and forehead. Her eyes were large and lips cap. A row of sharp teeth in her mouth and in the background, a bloody image of a lamp with blue ducks and stars.
"I know that lamp."
"Do you remember your bites?" she looked at me. I scorned, "CC never bit me. She's just a little slow. She's always concerned with boys."
"That's wrong. Tori, where do babies come from?"
"The store."
"Are you serious?"
"They do."
"Real ones."
"The hospital. I went to the hospital and like... they gave me a baby doll."
"What are you saying?"
"Nothing. Like, babies come from the store. I read that these people had a baby, and they put drugs inside of them. And it looked real too. I know the difference."
"But you're saying two different things."
"No." I laughed. "You think I mean two different things."
"Ugh." Besujia avoided my face. "I hate zombies. No." She looked back at me. "Fucking imps. It's not your fault. Yahoska wanted to get rid of you anyway."
"What you mean, like my mama was on drugs?"
"To get rid of you. She didn't want you." she cooed at me. "But you were planned to be mine." she smiled. "Tori, you were a miscarriage."
"No, I'm not!"
"You are... Monty knew because he has the eye and he took your eye. The good one at least." I'm listening. "And I taught him magic. In. Fucking. Church."
"Are you a demon?"
"I'm a mother."
"Where's my mom?"
"Dead. Or will be." she bends to me. "You wanna go grab her?"
I nod. "And your gonna kill her so I can have the body. Then you can come back and we'll be a family."
"No."
"You will. Or I'll fuck you up."
That startled me. I'm still a kid, right? "I'll fuck you up. I'm Mable..." her grin was so ugly and misshapen, I felt a breeze where there was no window and felt blood I thought was water.
.
.
.
What the fuck am I doing?
I'm tired of asking myself that. Chauncey was like this after church, he never seemed right. I always find out late about things. Like pregnancy. A woman should tell a man he's about to be a father, right? That's common. Or it should be.
I know how sex works, because Ms. Harper taught me. But that tingle between my legs is annoying, it makes me angry. I don't even like putting it THERE it feels strange. I don't even like touching it.
Adam and Eve didn't touch; they were siblings.
Aleigha? He's gay or at least in actions? He went to jail, juvenile hall, Numbworks Detention Center. I went too and I saw him kiss a boy.
I was over by the tree at the church. I asked why he was doing that. He told me to mind my business and went back inside the church.
I saw Mrs. Harper in the bathroom once. I thought it was the boy's bathroom. Mama had already told me once, twice, fifteen times before to stop acting like I didn't know where the bathroom was.
The boy's bathroom and girl's bathroom look the same. Mrs. Harper pulled out a tampon. I asked her was she pregnant. She did things my mama didn't. I thought she was a good woman. Shiloh said she was a bitch, but I knew people older than me, always said they hated their parents.
Mrs. Harper told me about women. How menstrual works, where babies came from, and everything. I asked her how to fuck. And I understood that, that made babies. I thought I could be a father.
I was upset when I found out Mrs. Harper cheated on me with Unwin. I asked her who he was, she told me, it was her pimp. I could have been a pimp.
I don't see why I'm not now.
I had a baby, I would have named her Shelly. I like seashells. She didn't make it, she told me, Shelly fell out. So, I tried again, and I had Duchess. I thought I did real good taking care of Duchess. I was gentle cause she did tell me before Aleigha shot her to death that babies were weak and careless but also fragile.
I put Duchess in a towel, I washed her in the sink, gave her water, food. I was a good father. I wanted another one.
Duchess was my second and Shelly was my first but I hated Duchess. She cried too much, we got into arguments. I swear that child was planning to get me thrown in prison.
I did everything right.
She slept in a shoe box, I gave her a pacifier to shut the fuck up, but she kept pushing it out her mouth. So, I thought what about the pills Mrs. Harper use to take and gave her that.
It was supposed to be medicine, that's why Mable took it. So, I gave Duchess a different pill, and it made her go to sleep. I kept giving her the pill because she was quiet, and I could finally work.
I got her sister and she wasn't as dark as Duchess. I named her Priscilla. I asked this woman, I don't remember her name, but she carried Priscilla and Priscilla was born blind. The bitch ran away and I couldn't find her.
But then I got to know Unwin's family. I heard about the break in. Aleigha deserved it. He should have kept his mouth closed. Mama always told me to be quiet and I learned to, eventually.
Aleigha got robbed, Shikki got mauled and left in the woods. I can't get behind Aleigha... he killed the woman that loved me. Took care of me better than my own mother. I was somebody to her, even though I understand I was raped.
It wasn't that bad. Like she said, it's just a feel good; you are not supposed to be into it.
I lost Priscilla. But I still had Duchess, sadly. Luckily enough, the pills kept her quiet so she didn't cry for nights but she stopped eating. I know medicine has side effects. Mable took other pills, going to the bathroom, pain, and other things.
I didn't know she was dead until somebody told me.
But the Growdens saved her! I couldn't take care of Duchess any longer. She was too much to handle to begin with. But I needed somebody again. I hated that because I hate putting in THERE.
Unwin said I could be gay but I don't like it. So, the bitch that took my other child revealed that her name was Wendy Growden. I got a Growden pregnant. Wendy told me she didn't want anything to do with me but was happy to have a half-black child.
"This is important. You see, we are South African and our family has a connection with the Gaun-Si Tribe in South Africa. The Gaun-Si were a tribe that consisted of the first white people that settled in South Africa. They were good with medicine and shared it with other tribes. They cured a plague in South Africa but over time the other tribes saw them as enemies.
The Growdens wanted to call upon their old ancestry. Put the medicine that healed a whole land back into the family.
That's what he told me and I thought it was so moving to try and keep the line going like that.
So I offered to help, in exchange... I got my sweet girl Torielle.
I had to fuck somebody first.