Deep breath, until you can no longer feel the pain
-
16
"Why did I agree again?" I don't know but I just want pull my own hair to wake myself up and vent out my frustrations.
I'm in the middle of traffic, on my way to the coffee shop again to meet Ian.
Unfortunately, I have to go with him.
Flashback
What?
I immediately ran to catch him. I didn't care if the people in the coffee shop were watching me.
"Ian! Uh-- I mean Mr. Romualdez," I was panting really hard when I tried to call him.
He suddenly stopped which made me bumped my forehead to his back.
"Do you need anything Miss Alcantara?" He had this stern tone when he asked me that. For a moment, hearing how he spoke to me made me petrified, aside from the fact that his stone cold eyes bore on me.
He looked annoyed now that I couldn't say a word. He turned around again, trying to leave.
"Wait," I couldn't stop myself and grabbed his arm.
His eyes shifted on my hand that crumpled his suit. I was taken aback but immediately removed my own hand. I really felt awkward doing this but I have to.
"If you aren't going to say something, then I'll leave now. I have a meeting to attend," he sounds cold.
My jaw almost dropped. I'm just not used to him talking to me like that.
I shrugged off the thought and proceeded with the things that I really need to say.
"I'll schedule the visit this week. I just need to make calls so we can see the whole place."
I sounded calm this time. Thank goodness I was able to gather myself.
What is he expecting tho? that I can just agree without having his request scheduled?
He just nodded and didn't bother to say a word. He left me there, watching his back as he walks away.
End of Flashback
I had to send three schedules to him through his secretary. I also asked his secretary about his schedule.
Fortunately, he was able to choose among the options I gave and it is today.
I keep sighing seeing how bad the traffic is right now.
What do I expect tho? Manila have always had a bad traffic. I left earlier but this traffic is just so bad that it makes my head fizzy.
I almost passed the street when my engine suddenly stopped. Oh no fuck!
"Why do unfortunate things always happen to me?"
Thank goodness, my car stopped near the gutter. Fortunately, there's at least one good thing that happened. But I guess that was the last good thing that will happen today.
I tried to start the engine again and again but it wasn't working. I'm slowly building panic inside me. It's just inevitable.
"Oh shit." I went out of the car to check.
My tires aren't flat so obviously, it's the engine that is malfunctioning. I tried to open the hood but immediately turned around when a sudden gray smoke came out of it.
I even cough because of the smoke.
"Shit," I can feel my eyes getting watery as each second passed by. I feel so annoyed and frustrated because any minute now, I'm already late in the meeting. Just when I wanted the day to immediately passed by, I'd encounter problem like this.
I went inside my car again and took my phone. I have no one to call but instead, I asked around for a mechanic who can be here anytime soon.
After that, I called Ian's secretary.
"Good afternoon, this is Alice Alcantara speaking of de Guzman Group."
[Good afternoon Miss Alcantara. How may I help you?]
"I'm wondering if you can call Mr. Romualdez to tell him I'll be late in our meeting. My car stopped and I'm in the middle of the street right now,"
[Oh is that so? I'll message him right away.]
"Thank you,"
He dropped the call after saying that he'll message me upon Ian's reply. Somehow, I felt assured. I just hope that Mr. Romualdez isn't in a bad mood. I doubt tho.
I was waiting outside my car, calling random people when I received a text message from Ian's secretary.
Mr Romualdez isn't replying to me, Miss Alcantara. Here's his number, please contact him yourself instead.
Why should I contact him?
Should I? I don't really know what to say.
I deleted his number months ago.
But now I have to text him.
To: Mr Romualdez
Good after Mr Romualdez. This is Alice Alcantara from de Guzman Group. I'm sorry to inform you that I'll be late in our meeting. I hope you'd understand with my sudden unprofessionalism. I am currently stuck in the middle of a street. My car's engine isn't starting. I'll be there as soon as possible! I'm really sorry for the inconvenience I caused.
It sounded too formal but I guess that would be fine.
I went out again and started calling other people too while waiting for his reply.
From: Mr Romualdez
Where are you? I'll pick you up now.
What? I bit my lower lip as I tried to type my response with my trembling fingers.
To: Mr Romualdez
I'll send my secretary there instead.
Yes, so they can already proceed.
From: Mr Romualdez
Can't you just send me your location? You're wasting time.
To: Mr Romualdez
That's why I'll send my secretary there instead of wasting your time. I'm sorry again for the inconvenience.
From: Mr Romualdez
I don't need your secretary. Send me your location now and stop wasting my time.
I groaned so hard as I shut my eyes while leaning back to may car seat. Why is he being so hard towards me? If he doesn't want to get his time wasted then can't I just send my secretary instead?
I tried so hard to calm myself before I typed my location. As if I have other options but to answer the client's question.
I feel so annoyed that everything isn't going well. If I only knew that this thing will happen, I should've worn my sneakers instead of this pumps.
He took probably ten minutes when he suddenly showed up, looking at my car. He looks annoyed while looking at it.
His brows were furrowed when he looked at me.
I even almost jumped out of shock.
"Didn't you call anyone who can fix your car?" His eyes were cold as he stared at me plus the fact that he sounded annoyed.
"Uh-- I called. They said they'll be here in an hour."
Did I freaking stutter?
"So am I supposed to wait here for an hour?" His brow arched, making him look more annoyed.
I tried to breathe properly as my inside started to get tense. I don't want to argue with him as it won't help our current situation.
"No. You can proceed with the venue and I'll send my secretary there." His forehead suddenly furrowed
"What would I do with your secretary?" I can really sense his thinning patience
"She will be there to assist you. So I won't waste your time anymore," I said without a pause, trying to make sense why I am sending my secretary instead of me.
I couldn't help but to say that. I'm also feeling my patience getting thinner each second passed by with his eyes glaring at me. It's not as if I wanted my car to malfunction on the day of our venue-visit. How would I know? If I only knew, I could've asked our family driver to send me there.
"Tss," did he just scoff?
He turned around and pulled out his phone. He started calling someone. If I'm not mistaken he's calling someone to get my car.
I turned around, trying to calm myself. I don't want to break down nor lose my cool. I just don't want to be unprofessional.
I shouldn't let my feelings overcome my professionalism.
But there are just things and in my case, people who keeps measuring your already thinning patience.
I sighed as I watched him with my peripheral vision, standing beside me. I actually don't know what to do.
I was about to speak when suddenly, three men came to us, actually approaching Mr. Romualdez.
"These are my men, they are going to handle your car. Let's go now."
He didn't bother to look at me after saying that and just went to his car, as if he's expecting me to follow him.
When he noticed that I didn't move an inch, he almost growl at me. "Do you really like wasting time?"
I sighed and said, "I'll just get my stuff." I went back inside my car and took my stuff. I carried my tote bag on my shoulder and some documents on my hand.
Good thing, I'm wearing a pair of jeans and a white shirt underneath my pink suit, I'm only wearing that aside from my pumps. Quite comfortable I would say.
The moment I got out of my car, I gave his men my car key before I went straight to his car.
I was a bit hesitant to enter his car but I still did after seeing him looking at me with his cold and dark eyes.
"Seatbelt,"
I remained silent and just put on the seatbelt. I also placed my bag and other stuff on top of my legs.
He started the engine and drove away.
I didn't bother to speak to whole time he was driving to Haruka Hotel. It's the venue that I chose from Margie's recommendation.
As soon as he parked his car, I immediately went out bringing all my stuff. I actually wanted to leave my bag but I didn't dare as we are not close enough for me to do that. So even though it's heavy, I still carried it with me.
"Miss Alice," My jaw dropped seeing a friend. My lips formed a smile when he went to me.
"Mr Antonio Lagdameo," I really sounded excited seeing him.
Mr Antonio Lagdameo is the current president of Haruka Hotel. He goes to the same university back in college.
"What brought you here?" He went to me and kissed my cheek. I chuckled when he did that. He didn't change at all.
He has always been like this.
"I'm showing a client around." I said and eyed Ian behind me.
"For an event?" His hand went on my arm, not planning on letting it go.
Antonio had been always like this, ever since college. I remember Henri getting jealous of him because of our closeness and how Antonio treats me. We belong to the same organization back in college, which made us close even though we weren't taking the same course.
"Yes but we're still considering other options," I said.
"Why? Is there something wrong with my venue?" He sounded concerned now that I have mentioned the word option.
"No. It's a bit expensive and exceeds the budget we set," I said the truth.
His lips formed an 'o' and giggled.
"I'll give you a discount. You know, I always favor you." He said as he chuckled. He even pinch my cheeks.
"By the way, this is Mr Romualdez. He's a client together with my brother." I didn't want to be rude so I introduced Antonio to him despite his cold aura.
"We actually know each other," Antony said while smiling at Ian.
They just shook hands with each other.
"Oh I see." How did they know each other?
"You guys go ahead. This guy here doesn't like his time getting wasted,"
Right! Did I just waste his time?
Antonio kissed my cheek again as he held my waist, budding goodbye.
"Are you done now?" He seriously asked.
My lips formed a thin line as I nodded. I walked away to see the venue. He just followed until we reached the convention room of the hotel.
The staff I had a conversation yesterday, immediately went to me.
"Good afternoon Miss Alice," she greeted us and let us inside the convention.
While walking inside the venue, he explains what we can and cannot do.
"You can also use the garden in front of the convention,"
We walked out of the convention hall and went to the garden. It is indeed a huge garden.
"This looks nice," I said, while looking at the reach of the garden.
It doesn't really look like a garden. It's more like a huge lawn with plants on the sides of it.
I asked a lot of questions about the event so we could immediately proceed if he will choose this.
"Does this look fine to you?" I asked Mr Romualdez after the staff left us to roam around.
"Yes. Let's proceed with the next venue."
That's it??? That's what he's going to say??? He turned around and left.
I sighed and followed him. Just like what he said, we went to the next venue but just like earlier, he didn't have any reaction nor a helpful comment.
I've been holding on to my now very very thin patience, trying to suppress all the negative feelings that have been growing since we started visiting the venues.
We are now inside the car, just finished visiting the three venues.
He looked annoyed when it started raining and we got stuck in the middle of traffic. What's with today and has a lot of traffic.
I gulped and tried to make a small conversation, trying to sound as casual as possible.
I didn't want to sound annoyed.
"How about the last venue?" I'm really hoping he would say something important before we proceed.
"It's nice." Casual na sabi nya.
I sighed. Ayun na ba 'yon? Can't he be more specific?
"Don't you have any other useful comments?" I just couldn't help but to ask.
It was a bit careful but there's a hint of annoyance in it.
How would I know if the venues I chose were enough?
I just can't decide on my own and if I'm allowed to do so then we're done here. Who's the client here anyway? As far as I remember, I'm not the client.
"What do you want me to say?" He said as if I am forcing him to say something.
I couldn't help but stare at him. I've been biting my lower lip to calm myself and to avoid myself spitting fire.
"I don't know. Maybe something useful to this venture. Like do you like the venue; don't like it; or search for more. Anything." I sounded stressed now.
It's the calmest one I could get.
I've been stressed lately because of this project. Now, he isn't helping with his trivial comments. I need helpful and significant so I would know what to do.
Aside from stress, I'm really frustrated now. It seems like he didn't really want to work with me.
I don't want to sound unprofessional that's why I've been putting up with his attitude until now.
"Among the venues, I personally like the first one." he suddenly said.
Finally. Finally he gave me something useful.
"Would you like that to be our final venue?" We have to decide now so we can start to work on the budget.
"Will there be any complications if we choose that venue?" Right. Just as I thought.
"Our main concern with this venue is the budget. However, I think we can squeeze in a bit. We'll be able to get the venue in that way." I tried to explained the possibilities so he would know how this will work
"Squeeze the budget? How about the others?" He sounded shock as if what I said is something unacceptable. It sounded like I joked on him
"You don't have to worry about--" He probably didn't expect that the process will be like that.
"What if it compromises the other things while you're working on the venue?" he said, cutting me off.
"Mr Romualdez, I am perfectly aware of every possibility that could happen."
I think I know what I'm doing and saying.
I keep breathing heavily to calm myself over and over again. However, he's words were just something that would always annoy me.
"You are perfectly aware of it huh?" he sounds disbelief, almost mocking my words.
See?
"I've been doing this job for almost a decade. For once, I haven't compromised anything in any of my projects just because I'm trying to squeeze the budget. That's how it always work."
I almost yelled. My voice was a little louder than my usual tone. He looks more annoyed now that I am talking back.
What do he expect from me? To be calm always? No. I won't put up with his attitude anymore.
"This is a different project," he said, trying to justify his words to me.
I'm now really annoyed. I've been trying my best to become as professional as possible but it just seems too impossible now.
I tried to remain cool and all but his actions keep thinning my patience.
"Do you have a problem with me?" This time, I sounded defeated. My patience just broke off.
I don't really know what to do anymore. I've been keeping everything inside so I could go on calmly and as much as possible professionally but he just...
His brows furrowed and he looks confused with my sudden question.
"You seem so uninterested yet you want something perfect." His face hardened when I said that. "I no longer know what to do. Whenever I asked you, you'd answer nonchalantly. Whenever I asked of your opinion, you'd answer as if you don't care. How can I do my job if you're not telling me what you want and didn't want. If you want this to be perfect then cooperate with me." My breathing felt like I ran for miles. I felt relieved but regretful.
I immediately regret everything I said. I burst out. I've been trained to be as calm as possible as I could be. But Ian as a client? I think he's just my limit.
I've never been this stressed and frustrated to a client.
I looked away so he wouldn't see my tears. I was so frustrated that I just couldn't help but to tear up.
I tried to breathe properly and calm my nerves so I could talk to him again calmly.
"Are you done?" my brows furrowed this time. "You are wasting my timeĀ again,"
What? He just really pisses me off. Just when I'm trying to calm myself, he said that.
"Stop the car,"
I'm so done with him.
"What?" he looked unsure of me.
"Just stop the car!" I couldn't help but to shout this time.
He stopped the car near the sidewalk. "I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'll give you an update with the final venue. I'll go now." I removed the seatbelt and carried my messy stuff all at once. I didn't care if my documents were folded or crumpled. All I ever wanted was to get out of his car, to get away from him.
"Where are you going?" He yelled with his car windows down.
But I didn't look back and continued walking despite the heavy rain. I didn't bother! I just don't want to bother myself with him again.
"Get inside Miss Alcantara," He continued but I still continue to walk away despite him driving slowly, following my pace.
I only stopped when I got under the waiting shed. I didn't mind being soaked now. All I wanted to do now is to get away from him, as far away as possible.
I thought he would follow me more but he didn't.
I just felt a little... disappointed.
"Right Alice. Why would he care?" I just laughed at myself as I look like a big joke right now.