100 years ago, an eruption of Mount Rfuka reduced the human population by 50% and frightened the whole world. Simultaneously with the eruption of the mountain, a creature called "Astral" suddenly appeared from the core of the earth and killed humans.
10 years of being frightened by the monsters, an organization called the Wlynina Association was formed, chaired by Prof. Kobayashi Nakano to fight the creatures and free the humans from fear of the creatures.
However, until now, although many humans have become victims of the war against these creatures, humans have not found the word victory and the existence of these creatures still exist.
And so far, thanks to the help of humans who have Spiritual Energy, the existence of these creatures can be handled well by them although until now humans still don't know where the Spiritual Energy comes from. Only disaggregated humans could obtain the power of that Spiritual Energy.
***
I woke up from my sleep.
"Mom, dad…" My head suddenly hurt after I woke up. "Ouch, ouch, ouch… I have a headache."
"Don't move too much, your condition isn't stable yet." A man wearing a white robe is talking to me. After that, he turned around. "Then I'll go first. I still have to take care of the other patients."
"Thank you, Doctor." Shiva lowered her head and that doctor came out of this room.
Seeing that, I immediately looked around and saw I was in a room that looked like a hospital. But when I saw the large enough window not far enough from beside me, I saw so many buildings there.
"Where am I?" I tried to remember what happened earlier, but my head hurt again. "Ouch..."
"We're at the hospital, in Redoom City."
Hearing Shiva's words, I immediately looked at her and saw Shiva was taking a chair for her to sit.
She has long silver hair with a pretty bright face. She also wears a military uniform with a dominant black color and red stripe pattern and wears a red skirt with stockings that cover her thighs, and boots like Dr. Martens.
Seeing her there and answering my question earlier, I immediately lay back on my bed.
"What happened to me? Why am I here?"
Unknowingly and still trying to remember what happened, suddenly my tears came out slowly.
"Akio, I'm sorry. I..."
Hearing Shiva's words like that, suddenly apologizing to me, I remembered what had happened to me.
"Ah, I see… My mom and dad already…"
Knowing the fact that this happened, my head wanted to rebel and scold Shiva for what she did to me, let my parents die there, and instead knock me unconscious and carry me away.
I turned to the side, right behind Shiva.
"Leave me alone."
"Sorry..."
Trying to be strong with this condition, that's what I tried to do while crying. I can't blame her for this incident, because I was the one who should have died there, not my parents.
I don't exist here at all. All my body and soul should be dead by right now.
"Akio, I..."
Hearing that voice meant that Shiva was still there, so I said without looking at her.
"Why did you save me instead?"
"Akio, I was back then…"
"It is okay."
My mind keeps on rebelling, wanting to get mad at her, but I can't do it because she's innocent. She is my neighbor who just met me again after leaving the village where she lived for 2 years, and she is the one who should be crying and getting angry with me because I can't take care of her sheep and other farm animals.
She is 1 year older than me, 17 years old, and what she has been doing since leaving her village, I have absolutely no idea. When she just came home, I was shocked when I saw her appearance, which was wearing a black military uniform with red stripes. What she's been doing all this time, I never asked.
So, I tried not to scold her.
"Akio, I was wrong. I couldn't save all the villagers, I'm sorry."
"I told you, I'm fine."
Even though these eyes kept crying, I tried to answer her words calmly. It feels... I just want to die.
"Shiva, can you come out?! I want to be alone right now."
"But..."
"I hope."
"Okay if that's what you want. Take care of yourself."
Hearing the sound of the stool being moved, and the sound of the door sliding, I knew that she had taken my word for it and left the room.
With this, not being here, I immediately turned around and looked around.
"Mother, father, should I follow you there?"
There are various ways of committing suicide in this room. The first, jump out of that window. The second, smashed my head against the wall. The third, stabbed my heart using the knife that was on the fruit plate. And finally, with the gun on the table.
I don't know who put the gun there, I immediately sat on my bed and took the gun, then put the tip to my head.
"Looks like I have to die."
With full confidence, I started to move the trigger of this gun.
"Goodbye Shiva and this world..."
CLEK!
However, when I pulled the trigger of this gun, not a single bullet came out.
Tried it one more time but nothing happened. Tried it again, still, nothing happened.
And after the 7th try, suddenly Shiva appeared on the bench.
"As expected, you must not have received this, Akio."
I was startled by her voice and turned to her.
"Eh? It's not like you're already out of here."
Shiva stood up and walked towards my place, and she took the gun from my hand.
"This gun has nothing in it. I was the one who put it there."
"Um..."
Hearing those words, I tried to get out of my bed to kill myself in another way, namely jumping into the window.
But unfortunately, what I wanted to do instead was stop.
"No! You can't kill yourself," Shiva said, holding my hand.
"Let me go! Let me kill myself."
Trying to rebel was pointless because her grip was stronger than mine.
"No, just don't!" She pushed me and made me lie down on this bed, "if you want to die, die with honor. If you kill yourself like that, your parents will not be happy in heaven. What they have given you, you are wasting."
With my eyes closed from covering it with my hand.
"What do you know about them?"
"I don't know anything about you and your parents..."
"Why do you look like someone who knows?"
"But… but I know that you love them more than anything. You don't want to see them suffer. You don't even want to see them sad. You love well to them and they love to you too." Suddenly Shiva was crying and I saw her, "so, even if this hurts you, I beg you... I beg you to stay alive."
This condition was uncomfortable for me, seeing her crying and pleading with me. But my mental state still hasn't accepted the fact that both my parents were killed by that creature.
So, I just kept quiet.
"Enjoy this world, and be grateful for those of you who survived thanks to your parents. If you want to die, die with honor with me. I was the one who should have died there with the villagers, but instead, I tried not to fight the creatures. I should be the one to die."
What she said made me feel that she was also at fault for this incident. She couldn't save the villagers because of the existence of so many creatures, and I just troubled her to make her like this.
I looked at my bandaged hand and tried to stabilize my mind.
Mom, Dad, what should I do without you guys? Do I deserve to live? Can I keep smiling without you? Can I be happy? Do I deserve this? If this is my destiny and you guys, I can't accept it. But I will try my best to accept. Mother, Father, may you rest in peace.
"So... please... stay alive, Akio!"
Hearing Shiva's screams, I immediately turned to look at her.
"Ah… I will live."
The nature of a person's maturity is not seen from the age they have but from the mindset of the person. What characterizes me is an example of being a mature person, accepting everything that has happened to me, and trying to stay alive in this world.
What is the basis for me to move forward, I will continue to walk without stopping. And if it stops, I will try to get up and try to walk again. Even though this suffering is so painful, I will still try to be strong and be grateful for what happened to me.
No matter how hard the world is against me, I will keep going, going, and going until I find what I want. If the creature's presence comes to me, I will fight it and make it regret confronting me.
Behind the clouds, there are other clouds. So, I will keep flying until I reach the last cloud.
Rest in peace, mom and dad.