{My first mistake was to think of chaos and domination for my wishes were created. Sometimes I feel cursed.}
….
They received directions to the city library after asking around for a bit. The people of Shokhi were rather nice, as Sharen had to come to see, even to strangers. This, as well, was something he wasn't used to.
"Tell me," he said, glancing at Narene who walked by his side. "How was your childhood like?" He realised, during breakfast, that he actually knew nothing about his apprentice and it made him feel slightly uncomfortable. He felt he needed to get to know her, see through her world.
Part of the reason he wanted to know, was of course, due to his own childhood.
Narene glanced at him before saying, "My childhood was mundane."
"Tell me about it."
"My mother left us when I was young," she began with a sigh; her face didn't betray any emotions, almost like she was recounting someone else's story. "I was 5 back then. It was hard at first but with my father, things got a bit better.
"I grew up in the forge, ate in the forge and did everything in the forge. It was boring and repetitive but I managed to convince myself that I was doing it to help out, to get money to feed. My only childhood fantasy was to learn magic and it was particularly high since I realised I was born with a rare gift.
"My father forbade magic."
"It was for your own good." Sharen said. They rounded a bend, passing by a few soldiers in armour. They paid them no heed, walking like they'd been programmed to do so.
Narene shook her head. "No. It limited me. I felt out of place at home and I wanted to leave."
"If you had an idea what the Holy Emperor was doing to mages then you might have thanked your father for keeping you safe." Sharen said, his mind flashing back to the Shattered Knights they'd fought. They were the products of the Holy Emperor's rule on magic.
"Still," she said, squeezing past a bystander. "If I had been allowed to practice in secret then I would be better than I am now. My childhood wasn't something to be proud of. I always felt…out of place."
"Magic isn't everything, Narene," Sharen glanced at her, careful to not let his gaze linger. "You should learn to make other matters important."
"Maybe," she nodded. "But it is what I crave doing. I love practicing the art and it fuels me."
"I know how it feels to want something with your entire being. It's difficult to steer off the edge of extremities at that point."
"Like your search for Khlatus?" she asked and he nodded. Narene then asked, "What extreme things have you done in your search for the artefact?"
"I wouldn't be here, on a hunt for a potential dangerous man, if I wasn't extreme about finding that cursed object."
"And what extreme things do you think I would do with my magic?" she asked, looking at him. This time, Sharen didn't avoid her eyes but looked right back, fighting the desires that swirled within him.
"You might let it control you." He said. "Magic is just a tool. Don't let it take over your soul, corrupting you to do things you wouldn't do. Don't lose yourself to it."
However, Sharen felt like a hypocrite. He'd done the exact opposite of what he was telling her. He had let himself get lost to the system, relying on it like a life line. He considered that it was normal since he was only who he was with the help of the system. Without it, he'd be dead by now.
"That's a really powerful lesson, Master Sharen," she smiled and continued walking. "I will keep that in mind."
Sharen followed along, speechless. How fast she was able to turn his words into a lecture surprised him. But, maybe—he thought—that was his role as her teacher? Maybe he didn't need to try hard to teach her things. He could just use his experiences and failures to teach her, guiding her to avoid the mistakes he'd made in his life.
He smiled. "It will make your journey through learning magic more blissful."
"Actually, I had given up on magic for a while." She said.
"What changed your mind?"
"You," she said, glancing at him again. "That day at the forest. I saw you fight the Haklaran with so much confidence that I began asking myself why I couldn't be the one doing that. In a way, it brought back my passion for magic."
"Why didn't you use your magic to attack the creature?" Sharen asked.
She shrugged slightly. "I tired but most of my spells were half baked. Besides, years of not practicing magic had left me rusty and dependent on my sword."
Sharen nodded then said, "Always aim for their heads."
She nodded.
They walked a bit before arriving at the towering library building. It was distinctive from the other houses yet still had the signature spike at the top. They entered the building, glancing around to find someone who fit Bri'el's description.
The library was almost empty except for a few people who sat on a table by the far end. It was still morning and Sharen understood why so few people were at the library. Majority had their trades to take care of and they found reading to be mundane and a waste of time. After all, reading or researching had never put food on anyone's table.
'Perhaps, most of these people are scholars.' Sharen thought, glancing around though using the system to check everyone to see if there was a mage amongst them. There was none.
After a while, Narene nudged him, pointing at a row of bookshelf. "That's Bri'el."
Sharen looked over, squinting his eyes slightly. The lady she pointed out really matched Goramel's description. She had messy hair and tired eyes yet those eyes showed determination. A kind of longing to learn, to decipher and to discover.
"Let's get her before she gets busy." Sharen said, walking towards the lady with hurried pace, Narene following behind him.
Once the lady noticed them approaching her, she stopped, observing them carefully. Sharen stood before her, his face serious. "Are you Bri'el, the librarian?"
"Yes," she nodded. "Is there something I can help you with?"