Due to his great exhaustion, Leo was unconscious for several days, still breathing but his heartbeat was very low. Inside, however, he was wide awake, reminding him of a nightmare. Once again, he found himself in a completely white room that had already haunted him once before.
("Where am I? Wait a minute, I know this place! No, why am I back?! Why is it happening again?! What did I do to deserve it this time?")
It was in this place where he killed himself, where he stopped his old self and all the cruelties. All those memories left him and were supposed to be hidden deep inside him forever. But due to the brink of death, his mind had to prepare for their return.
As Leo turned around he saw a figure that made him freeze.
"Hey, what are you doing here? Who are you? Where am I?"
It wasn't his dead mother, not his tormentor, not his dead comrades. The one standing in front of him was he himself, the old him. He was marginally shorter than him and far more slender but it was undoubtedly himself.
"W-what's going on here?"
"Oh great! I guess you don't have a clue how to get out of here either. A thousand questions but no answers."
Leo couldn't believe it. It was himself, the Leo who barely fit into this world. His stature and appearance matched, it really was his younger self. All of a sudden he got a big headache and put his hand on his head.
"Hey, what's wrong with you? You don't have to start crying now. Oh, you're not feeling good."
Leo slapped his own cheecks to get his head straight. Afterwards, he looked his old self in the face.
"Hey, do I have something on my face? Why are you staring like that?"
"You don't know who I am?"
"No, how would I know, this is the first time we've met."
Leo was devastated, his old self had no idea who he was. The deeper he fell into thoughts the more terrified he became. He grabbed his old self and shook him.
"You know me, you must know who I am!"
"Hey, what are you doing? Let go of me!"
"I-I'm taller a-and maybe a little more muscular but we don't have that many differences."
"What are you talking about? You and I couldn't be more different! Look at you, your face is covered in scars and bloodstains. You must be out of your mind!"
Leo didn't understand what he meant. When he reached for his face he saw the blood sticking to his palm. He went down on his knees in bewilderment and faced the ground. A mirror appeared in which he looked into. Leo was scared and a little sad because nothing resembled the person next to him. He was barely able to distinguish himself.
"Hey mister, we have to find a way out of here somehow. I don't want to let my friends down!"
"Friends? What friends are you talking about, what do they look like?"
"What's it to you Mister...well, I guess I've got nothing to lose anyway. Their names are Adrian, Blade-
"Luke...and Marah, am I right?"
"H-how do you know what? Who exactly are you?"
"I-I've...met them before...I sort of live in the capital."
"Why don't you say that before! So you're from this world. Look, you can be helpful for me. I don't know my way around here very well yet since I... have been living far away and barely understand the place. Neither of us have any clue how to get out of here so why don't we use this time to exchange some information?"
Without a word, Leo nodded at him as they sat down on the floor. Allowing his old self to ask all the questions, Leo answered them truthfully. There were no doubts, he had just entered this world. During the conversation he didn't show any signs of anything, he remained a stranger to him. Nevertheless, he gave as many wise words as he could.
"These...monsters you are talking about.... An old friend has been watching and studying them. It is best to use fire against them, a lot of them explode on contact with flames. Be sure to take all your training seriously and learn as much as you can about magic and other matters if you want to survive. I am sure where you come from there are hardly any such dangers or...such magic..."
"Hmm, that's true, we don't have all that much magic. Do you know anything about the other natio-"
"You definitely need to train regular combat as well, without magic I mean. Don't rely too much on others and think your own thoughts. Even if everything goes wrong don't give up, new opportunities always present themselves. However, do not trust everyone who crosses your path. Always try to think like a leader and don't give in to the lusts of this world. Stay focused and be prepared for any situation...And no matter what happens...always... be...yourself..."
"Hey mister, is everything ok with you, you look so sad?"
Leo noticed a tear running down his cheek, not from torture this time but from a more agonizing feeling.
"I'm fine, I just reminisced about an old friend."
"Must have been an important friend from the way you stepped into the conversation."
"Maybe he was...unfortunately he's gone, though, it was his own fault...he's still my friend."
"That's a fine attitude to start with. Best you keep it."
Then Leo gave him some more advice that would be very helpful. Time passed until eventually he had nothing more to say. His old self held out his hand to him.
"As a token of my gratitude. I don't have anything else so a handshake will have to do."
Hesitantly, Leo also stuck out his hand. His hand was rough while the other hand was soft and gentle. The moment they shook hands, a rustle went through the air and a door opened in front of them. His old self stood up and walked to the door as if he knew where it led.
"Hey mister, I got a good feeling about you. Maybe I'll see you around town, what's your name?"
Leo looked at him with a sad smile. He stayed true to his character.
"I don't have a name."
"Nonsense, everyone has a name. You won't tell me? Whatever you want. You take good care of yourself mister."
Those were the last words before his old self walked through the door. The white room dissolved and Leo opened his eyes. Overhead he saw the sky, nearby he listened to the animals of the forest. Leo was lying in the grass in a patch of the forest. Abruptly he felt a sharp pain in the palm of his hand. The white mark lit up and pulsated. He remembered what had happened before he fainted. There was no trace of Gallian, when he tried to use the magic nothing happened although he felt it inside. It felt like there was a lock on the magic. The only thing that reacted to the magic was his weapon, which was all he could use. Everything was physically normal for him except that he was still a bit shaky in the legs. His mind was a total chaos. His experiences in the "dream" had been very exhausting. As he marched through the forest he saw a group of adventurers being attacked by monsters. Reluctantly, he thought about helping them, but eventually he decided to try to save them. Without taking a step towards the group, he saw that another person was killing the monsters one by one. It all looked so effortless to Leo, this person must have spent years training. Once the monsters dropped dead, he stood next to the adventurers. But instead of thanking him for his help, they ran away from their savior. Leo had a closer look at the person. It was a young man, similar in age, with black long hair and brown eyes. He had a small scar next to his right eye. He suddenly glanced in Leo's direction. Leo avoided his gaze and stayed hidden in the woods. It would be fatal for Leo to have him as an enemy, he would lose in a duel in his state. He kept his guard up, and suddenly there was a rustling behind him. When he was about to turn around again a sword point found itself at his neck.
"Who are you and what do you want here?"
The swordsman stood right in front of him and looked at him with hostile eyes. Leo looked at his sword more closely, it was very similar to his: a very long thin blade with a leather handle.
"Do you want me to kill you here and now or will you answer my questions?"
" All right, all right. I followed the yelling and ended up here. Then I watched you save them. I'm really just passing through."
"No one's going to buy that. Anyone who wears such armor or has such a presence is not a simple traveler. And especially not with a weapon like that. How did you manage to get it?"
While the swordsman continued talking, Leo managed to escape and backed away. He then drew his weapon as well.
"Well, let's say I'm not normal. That's all I'm going to say for now."
"That doesn't sound very convincing. Let alone when you're holding a weapon like that."
"Why are you so obsessed with that sword? I'm not going to sell it!"
"No one will buy such a sword, certainly not in these parts. Such swords haven't been made for ages. Why would a traveler have such a blade?
Leo knew not to joke with him. He had to be satisfied with his answers.
" Fine, I'm not a normal wanderer. You must have seen the runes on the sword since I am a magic user. I made the weapon myself. If you really want to find out, I'll show you a blueprint of it. As for everything else, I can only say that I am not your enemy, I really am just passing through."
His opponent pondered a moment before putting his sword away.
"Your eyes aren't telling lies. That doesn't mean we're done here. If you really have knowledge of this weapon, then prove it. Follow me."
Leo had no choice, especially since he had nothing to lose. The two of them marched into the next town, all looking normal except for a row of houses. They didn't fit the image of the town at all being old rundown buildings. Knocking on one door, a man opened and greeted the two. It was unusual for Leo to be allowed to enter like that, but he really had no choice.
"Don't be shy and come in, you look exhausted."
Leo nodded and entered the house. Inside it was very neat, everything had its place and there were no holes.
"I never thought in my lifetime I'd see Collyn bring a friend."
"He's not my friend! We're just here to make something clear."
"Him? Collyn, you stubborn fool. You don't even know his name, do you?"
"Stop calling me that old man. It' s not always necessary to know everyone's name. Eventually there are too many for me to remember."
It was clear that Collyn was not very talkative. He possessed a cold manner and was unable to cope with strangers.
"Discussing with you is truly useless. Well then, tell me: What is your name?"
"My name is Leo. I don't exactly know what's going on here but he wanted me to show him something about this weapon."
"...Leo huh..."
The man looked down, his gaze turning colder, and he turned away from Leo.
Leo followed into a smaller side room. Various weapons hung on the walls, mainly swords. These weapons had different lengths and shapes.
"Hey, stay here! Put your sword on the table, I need to take a closer look."
"Not until you let me look around."
Collyn was not amused by these words yet he accepted this condition. Leo examined everything more closely. On many swords were drawn runes, however, most of them were incomplete, almost ruined. The meaning behind these runes is that they have an affinity for magic. This can mean that they can control magic, can be fused with magic, or can counteract and neutralize magic. Should this be the case then a mage is at most only a soldier if he even could hold a proper sword.
"Magic doesn't affect you, am I right?"
Collyn ignored his words and analyzed Leo's weapon.
"The blade is slightly longer than my sword and the handle is more narrow. As far as the material goes, I haven't seen anything like it. Those runes are also new to me...so it's not one of them..."
"What do you mean by them?"
"It's none of your business. We're done here, you can go!"
"Don't be so rude Collyn, he didn't do anything bad. Besides, he's not an enemy so calm down."
"Tch, don't tell me what to do."
He left the room and walked out of the house. Before Leo could say anything, the old man offered to be his guest for the day.
"Don't hold it against him, he's been through a lot. He used to be completely different, but his past still haunts him today. If you are at all interested, stay for a talk, maybe you can understand each other better. If he goes on alone like this then he will fall down even deeper. It's the first time he's brought someone along even if it was just for this sword."
"It's true that he was hostile to me but overall he didn't do anything to me, that's quite something."
"You don't have to worry about that. Even if Collyn threatened you, he wouldn't kill you... Allow me to tell you why he's acting this way. Have a seat, it might take longer. I don't know if he will come back today, we'll see."
Leo had a good feeling about the man. He looked calm, gave a satisfied but also worried impression. He was still unable to feel at ease but it was a start.
"I don't want to take too much advantage of their hospitality. After all, I have nothing to give you."
"Oh, your attention alone is more than enough. Now, come on, sit down. I'm Brendan, by the way, just so you know.
The two took a seat and Brendan told Leo all about Collyn.
"He's the same age as you but acts far more mature than most. From what I understand, he grew up with his mother. His full name is Collyn Willworth, he comes from an old noble family in the city. He rarely saw his father, as he was always on the road and had no time for his son. Thus, Laila raised her son alone. I remember in the past as he scurried about the marketplace helping his mother with the groceries. She always attracted the evil stares of the vendors. You have to understand that she is not from around here. The rumors say that she comes from some old enemy province. Instead of being captured, she was married off. It seems that the marriage was made because of her husband Roy's lust. Collyn is an unrequited child that never had a real father. The older he got the more he began to curse his father but Laila kept him from stupid actions. This went on for years, once the two were officially seen they got nothing but shame. And Roy did nothing about it, seemingly he didn't care what happened to them. Not everybody was rude to them, in fact they had some friends, including me. I can't stand it when people are scorned just because of their ancestry. You know, I used to be a blacksmith before the military reduced. I made the little rascal his first training sword. As far as I know he didn't get any lessons, he taught everything himself. Laila managed to raise her son into a proper boy. I remember her saying that she was very proud of Collyn's development. His behavior was friendly and he knew how to behave around people.'"
The man paused for a moment. Leo realized he was having a harder time saying his words.
"Then three years ago, the absolute worst happened. I myself only found out 2 days later but Laila passed away. She had been seriously ill for some time and Roy was obviously not there to help her. She was given a proper funeral but not many people showed up. Even her husband did not appear as though he did not care about her death. Oh, I am still saddened by the look on Collyn's face that day. Not a single tear rolled down his cheek, he just stood emotionless and watched her being buried.
Afterwards he left his home and started working as an bounty hunter. I invited him to stay with me several times but he always refused. He rarely visits me anymore and certainly not together with another person. He is obsessed with these swords because they used to belong to the Willworth family, it is very special because there are no other swords outside the family. His sword has the mark of a Phoenix on the grip, Laila had made it for him as a keepsake. To her, Collyn was her little Phoenix, who no matter what happens always get up and carry on. However, to him, it only represents his powerlessness in the past. He feels much hatred for his father but he blames himself the most for her death. Collyn is cursing his impotence at that time, there was nothing he could do for her when she was sick. In spite of her words that he is guiltless, he has completely fallen into despair. He thinks that he has just taken his whole life without giving back and burdened his mother severely, and that she got sick because of him killing her. He thinks that he himself is a sin that needs endless repentance. That is why he tries to help others although his methods are often very cruel as I was told. Thus, he would hardly do anything to you unless you are to blame. His current path is leading to his self-destruction, he barely cares about himself."
Leo listened closely, at some level he empathized with him. They were not that different even if they originated from different worlds. All of a sudden, Branden reached for Leo's hands.
"That's why I'm begging you: please try to interact with him and get him off this path. You might be able to save him, he really deserves to be saved, Collyn is actually a good young man who has buried himself in guilt. Please, if you see him, try to reason with him. Hopefully these few words were helpful to you even if they are mostly sorrowful."
Leo knew what he was talking about. The first time they met, his eyes looked cold and emotionless, and he knew that look very well. Although he didn't really like humans yet he felt the need to help him. Perhaps it would also bring him himself further towards an own path. All of a sudden, loud voices came from the street. Totally agitated, Brendan opened the door to watch who had arrived. Upon seeing this person, he became panic-stricken.
"Y-you have to find him soon, very soon. I have a really bad feeling, pretty soon he's going to do something very bad that will result in his death. You must stop him when you see him."
"Why the panic? Who has appeared to pull such a face?"
"His father and the entourage returned. What I forgot to tell you is that since the death of his mother, his father has been absent since he left for the capital. So why did he return? No no, that's very bad. I can imagine how Collyn is feeling right now and what he is planning to do. Hurry and find him before he brings himself to death!"
Brendan handed him his sword and pushed him out of his house.
"I pray for your safe return, I do have faith in you."
Leo was aware of what he meant, he himself had harbored similar thoughts before. Collyn's goal was to take off some of his guilt by murdering his father.
("Damnit, what a mess. How should I best go about this?")
Leo walked down the street, looking for a man hiding on the rooftops or wearing a robe that hid his face. However, it didn't make sense for him to strike now, as a large group of soldiers was serving as an escort. Therefore he followed them until they arrived at their destination. The home of Collyn's father was in fact a huge mansion. He hid nearby and kept an eye out for Collyn. Several hours passed and there was still no sign of him. The mansion was guarded by a few soldiers, so it would not be easy for him to get past them or kill them.
("Tch, what am I doing here? It's almost night, its now or never Collyn.")
Leo thought about how he would have handled it, only to find out that Collyn had his own method. Suddenly Leo heard shouting from the house. The soldiers were calling for assistance. Leo was completely bewildered. He had no choice, his sneaky silent strategy was now gone. So he entered the mansion and looked around, through one of the windows he saw Collyn who was about to be captured, being surrounded by soldiers.
"Let go of me dammit! You have nothing to do with this- urgh!"
"Boy, you seem to have a death wish! Let me grant it to you right now!
The owner of the mansion entered the hall.
"My lord, I'm terribly sorry. This intruder was trying to assassinate you, so I thought I'd get rid of him."
"Silence! No blood shall be spilled in this house, it only leaves bad taste in your mouth. Drag him behind the smaller building and finish your task. You know what the rules are here!"
"Any intruder is to be killed off without drawing much attention. Understood."
"You bastard, you don't even recognize your own son?"
Roy looked at him more carefully and recognized Collyn.
"What son? I don't have a son, I just had a woman.
"You pathetic asshole, you're part of the reason she's dead. Where have you been all this time? Why did you treat us like shit?"
"She had her usefulness until she became unnecessary at some point."
Collyn was beside himself hearing these words, his hate only grew stronger. However, he had lost his chance for revenge, his obsession eventually doomed him. However he was not the only one whose rage was growing.
("How can such miserable creatures exist? And why are these fucked-up memories coming back up again? Fuck it, this is going to take a lot out of me. Better hope it works otherwise we're both in deep shit.")
Leo drew his sword, it glowed black yet it did not form into a bow, a shield or a scythe. Zaphiel mentioned that it could change into different forms, but that doesn't mean that it was limited to these kinds of weapons. It grew in size smaller and smaller until he finally held his weapon of choice in his hand. Out of all things, it was the worst of all memories that turned out to be his most powerful aid. He held a gun in his hand that he was familiar with.
("I'm sorry mother...")
Focusing, Leo pulled the trigger. Just as expected, the bullets blasted through the window panes directly into the head of the soldier restraining Collyn. Without the other soldiers having a chance to react, Leo already shot the next one. The gun itself was fused with magic, nevertheless Leo felt his strength leaving him. Realizing what was happening, Collyn picked up his sword and charged the other soldiers head on. Leo stepped through the broken window and joined Collyn to kill everyone until there was nobody left. At once he searched for his father but he had disappeared and hid in one of the many rooms. Collyn ran across the rooms and looked for the locked door. Upon finding it, he kicked it with all his might until it cracked open. Looking into his father's eyes in hatred, he approached him.
"Don't you come any closer, you wouldn't dare kill your father."
"What father? I never had a real father. I only had a loving mother who took care of her son. You never gave a damn about her, never cared. Indeed, you are a lowly being who only uses people. Today you will pay for your deeds as you should have done much sooner."
He raised his sword and was about to strike him through as a loud bang rang out behind him. Suddenly Roy sank to the ground lying dead. Leo had put a hole in his head. Filled with hate and despair, Collyn took his sword and charged at Leo. To him it had been his mission, his destiny to kill his father. Leo saw that Collyn was feeling a lust for murder as well as loathing. In these moments one is most vulnerable and inaccurate. Leo already knew what was going to happen, so he managed to disarm Collyn and threw him on the ground. Before he could launch another attack Leo's gun was sticking on his forehead. He saw what damage this weapon does. Instead of continuing to feel anger and hatred, his expression became desperate.
"Are you satisfied now that he is dead? Has your desire come true? Can you feel peace and tranquility again now huh? Speak up!"
"Save the words, I have nothing more to say. Just kill me!"
"That's your answer, to just die?"
"I...have nothing left to live for...now that he's dead...I don't know how to go on...so end my life...I dont want to carry this guilt anymore."
Leo picked up Collyn's sword and tossed it to him.
"The Phoenix...he always rises, no matter how many times you slay it. However, it will have to wait for some time. Did you already forget that remembrance from your mother? Did she want you to take vengeance? Now you just want to die like that? Fuck no, you will live on whether you like it or not. You' re saying you're to blame for your mother's death? Then live with the blame damnit! Your mother never wanted you to kill yourself. If you really cared about her then value your life and do the best you can with it. And when you see her again someday, tell her what you've made out of your life."
"...Big words from someone who has no idea..."
("You fucker!")
Leo suddenly became very angry but he had to restrain himself and calm down. He was far more familiar with these words than he ever wanted to be.
"...Anyone could have told you that. So decide, are you a coward or are you going to carry on?"
"How can I go on if I'm a descendant of him? My mother wasn't even allowed to decide my name. I don't want to continue to be like this, the name Collyn is fucking cursed to me.
"Connor."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It's your new name: Connor. If you detest your name so much then I'll just give you a new one. It's different than Collyn but shares similarities. Things don't get much better than that, leaving your old name completely behind is out of the question. Maybe that bastard gave you the name but your mother also raised you as Collyn. Therefore, from now on, your name is Connor, close enough but not the same."
"It's not that easy."
"Why not? It's not like you have friends here let alone other family, no doubt Brendan won't mind either."
Unsure of what to say, Leo held out his hand. Once Collyn finally accepted, Leo suddenly felt dizzy. The gun formed back into a sword and he wobbled from side to side. Collyn caught him at the last moment.
"Oh man, seems I overdid it a little."
They both looked back at the body once more and left the estate. Other noble families had heard the screams and called for soldiers. However, the two managed to sneak out. They knocked on Brendan's door, with relief he welcomed them.
"Did you do it?"
"No, he didn't...I did."
"..."
Brendan was not thrilled but neither was he angry with Leo. They both spent the night at his house. By early morning, Brendan had prepared breakfast. Very unusually, Collyn expressed his gratitude to the old man. It was the first move towards his change. Afterwards, he went into the next room and began to clean and refurbish his sword. Especially the mark of the Phoenix was important for him to care for.
" Regardless of what you did, I am deeply grateful to you. Looking at his face, I can see a spark of his old expression.
"Hey, what are you guys talking about? It certainly is my business, too."
"It's nothing important. Rather, are you done with your sword?"
" It' s all I can do, its in a good condition. 'Going to take good care of it."
"And what are you going to do now, you can hardly stay here."
"Since he's talking big words somebody needs to get him back down to earth. I'm gonna go bother Leo here."
"Who said I was taking you with me? Moreover, you won't find peace in my presence, rather the opposite. There are dangers lurking everywhere, you might die at any moment. I'm drawn to death and downfall."
"Come on, you know I have nothing to lose."
"How about your life stupid?!"
"I didn't mean it like that idiot, you're way too tense man. You know I'm more than capable of taking care of myself when it comes down to it."
"Yeah, I saw that as I watched your appearance in the mansion."
"That was a 1vs10, how was I supposed to handle them?"
"Don't go in there in the first place."
"It worked out in the end."
"...dumbass"
"What did you just say."
"I said you're a dumbass, dumbass!"
"You take that back, you arrogant idiot!"
The two discussed with each other, looking as if they were already good friends. Brendan laughed and looked pleased.
"I feel like your trip is going to be a mess. Don't do too many stupid things."
"He already did yesterday, he's a living hazard."
"That never makes it boring though so stop complaining."
Once the arguments were finished, the two agreed to journey together. Brendan handed them a small provision. The next moment he suddenly hugged Collyn.
"Take good care of yourself Collyn."
"Connor...call me Connor from now on."
"I see...then take good care of you Connor!"
Brendan could imagine what he meant by that and so he called him by his new name.
Cloaked, the two secretly left town and wandered down the streets. Suddenly Connor spoke words Leo had been on his mind for a long time.
"Hey, you don't know where to go either am I right? From the look on your face yesterday, I could tell you are just as lost as I am. Looks like I'm not the only one who can't find his purpose and path."
"Ha, are you sure about that? Perhaps it was all an act or a farce..."
Even though they'd only known each other for a day they seemed like friends whose pasts followed a tragic course. Who knows, two lost souls might be able to forge a common path. It was clear that none of them will ever be bored.