I realized that my hands were clutched into fists. I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch bloody 7734 in the face. I couldn't control myself. Why would I even have to follow a non-existing's orders? I swiftly stood on my feet and ran to the door. I'd to get out of here. I'd to see Bruno, dad and him. It was impossible to forget him. No difference in how hard I tried. I always ended up with him.
I gripped the handle of the door and pulled it with all the force still left in me. But it didn't open. Not even a single move. I remembered well; I hadn't locked it, but now it was locked. I tried again with even more force. It was only dad and me in the house and nobody else. Perhaps dad couldn't have locked me and why would he even do it? Then who locked me?
"Dad!" I shouted, with no fear this time. "Let me out of here."
I pulled myself back and instead ran for the window. It was still wide open. I was about a foot away when a loud thump sound came and the window closed on its own. The wind had decreased by now. I tried to pull it but it was locked, too. Now there was no exit way left for me.
No exit.
Zen's room was visible through the glass window. Locked. Where could he be now? In what situation?
"I need you." I wept.
He was beside me in every situation, but now that I needed him, he was nowhere. The sadness drained through me rather than skating over my skin. It traveled through every cell to reach the ground. I filtered it yet, strangely enough, I kept what was pure, and it was the dirt that left.
I returned to my phone so that I may find some new emails. But there was nothing. I lied on my back and blinked the tears away that had collected in my eyes. They were a Pacific Ocean by now. I'd to calm down. It was what I'd learned from my teacher, company, guard, friend — Zen. So I did what I was taught to. He taught me to smile at tiny things in these situations. I turned on my phone. The email from 7734 was still on the screen. "Bloody!" I snappily pressed to go back. I knew what to do now. I'd to go through our old pictures. I'd to remind them all of myself once again. I'd to smile at tiny things. I tapped to open the folder Zen had created for me.
Tiny happiness
It was the folder he'd saved from our pictures. I scrolled down them. They were all precious to me. Each one of them. They all reminded me of our wonderful memories.
There was a picture of my thirteenth birthday. I was wearing a baby pink frock and a glittery crown. He was beside me, poking his finger into my cheek.
In another one, we were about fifteen. It was a park. We were riding a bike while he was trying to pull off my cap.
He told me to smile while looking at them but instead, I was crying. Tears were trickling down my cheeks. The mattress under me was soaked with my painful tears. As much as hard as I tried, I couldn't calm down without him. I was sunk in my sorrow when I heard a ringtone sound from my phone.
It was a text from Zen.
Stay brave and remember no matter what, I love you..