Slowly she removed her foot and stepped back pulling her blade from my hand before letting it fall to the floor.
It clanged noisily as she knelt beside me, "Lalie..." she breathed. "I... told you to never use it to harm anyone, now, like me, you can never leave this place to go back to your home." she looked around at the people who I had killed in my rage. "they're all dead. Lalie you've defiled the sanctity of hou and brought disaster to us all."
I noticed the opening and grabbed her neck, the blood from my palm leaving small droplets of red on her white robe, I couldn't squeeze very much because of the wound, not that she was bothered by it at all.
She looked at me with pity and sadness in her eyes, not even trying to stop me.
Realizing this I let my hand fall and turned away from her to hide my tears "I loved you and you rejected me," I tried between sobs "I never wanted to be here, I never wanted to be vehatra... why couldn't I get to live my life normally?"
She placed her hand on my cheek wiping away my tears. "There are many things I wish I could have done for you and while I'm responsible for letting you become like this, there are many things that you're not aware of, things that... complicate your situation." I sat up and turned to her my anger no doubt showing in my eyes. "Even now?" I remonstrated "a simple apology would be so much better, why cant you even grant me that?"
"...It wouldn't help your situation and... I can't apologize to you because despite my feelings the consequences if I didn't do it are so much worse." she wore her sadness well but her resolve was already steeled, "If I had to, I would do it again."
"You're right." I replied with a soft smile.
"then-" she began before I cut her off.
"-We're not the same."
"What?" she didn't seem to understand.
"That night, you said that we weren't alike even though I tried convincing you that we were, but now I see that you were right, you were never like me, like humans."
I got up. "from this moment we... " I hobbled over to the blade she had stabbed me with and picked it up. She didn't stop me. "We are enemies. The next time we meet... one of us will die."
****
I still don't know why she let me leave, maybe because she had destroyed my cultivation she didn't see me as a threat anymore? I don't know.
But after that I wondered the lands, towns cities anywhere and nowhere.
In some ways I wished I could've stayed on the island because this place was worse, the people here weren't human not by a long shot and though most of them had only minor accomplishments in using hou and even fewer with proper cultivation bases they still had the power to abuse the non-dragon-born, namely me.
Being different from them is no different from being alone and lost in a jungle.
I wondered for years visiting towns hoping to find somewhere I could just live the rest of my life in silence, only to get kicked out or worse, chased.
In a way I can understand their hatred.
I was an aberration, to them I wasn't supposed to exist as I was part of the race that almost doomed them all a thousand years prior.
Yet here I was.
I learned to blend in, to keep myself apart of but apart from them but the more I learned about them the more it became apparent that I didn't belong and that what I did was wrong.
Not only wrong because I had killed but because I had used hou to do it.
What I learned is that their society depends mostly on the different forms of hou for life and support, where we would use gasoline or electricity they would use hou. Not only that but when they weren't ostracizing me they were really kind people, down to earth and even though not many of them had very good living accommodations they were always happy with what they had.
But hou, it was never meant to be used as a weapon.
Then when I successfully hid my identity in a way that allowed me to live a somewhat normal life the guilt would just force me to leave eventually.
I had begun to accept my life would be like this until the day i died or was was killed by an angry mob when...
****
I had just been found out, and some guy had just about done and said everything he could to insult me hoping I would respond giving him a reason to attack me. When I didn't he accused me of thinking I was better than he was and punched me. I was almost 21 and wasn't as short as I had been previously and even though I had worn a hood and cloak it was impossible not to notice that I was female. Yet he punched me in the face.
It surprised me and I fell to the floor.
I tried getting up failing miserably, as the disorientation and nausea set in accompanied by tears and a bleeding lip.
That didn't stop me from trying until I finally managed to get up but lost my balance again.
all the while jeers and laughter surrounded me, mocking me and cheering for my misery. The wooden tavern walls seem to swim my vision itself fading slowly.
This time though someone caught me, held me close and I found myself face to face with him only as i tried pushing him away he only held me more tightly.
"Let go," I stated quietly, hopefully the others wouldn't hear me and I would at least get to leave on my own accord. Since trying to talk to them never seems to work out.
He never broke eye contact.
Not until I had stopped resisting, I didn't have the energy for it... hadn't eaten in days and now without any energy I could only let him hold me a single arm around my midsection pulling me close to him.
"please let go ill be on my way and you'll never see me again."
eh? what was that? i caught a single gentle smile from him before he turned his attention to the others.
"which one of you bastards dared to lay a hand on my wife?" he roared.
"She's human! how can you defile our ancestor's memory by taking this.... thing as your mate?!" the man who punched me fumed.
The man finally lets me go before walking over towards the the man and slugging him so hard that he fell to the ground in a crumpled mess.
"eh? no don't!" I called out instinctively "don't hurt them, not on my behalf."
They all turned to look at me, I stepped back as the man who'd protected me also stopped to turn looking at me in surprise.
"I'm sorry," I managed before exiting the tavern in a hurry donning my cloak and making sure my hood hid my face in its shroud.
"wait!" I heard the man call out.
I have to leave here as soon as possible.
***
A few minutes later i stood panting in an alleyway. the man had decided to chase me I don't know what his intentions were, calling me his wife.
Whatever his reasons I wanted no part in it.
Although, having someone smile at me for the first time in so long, even just once was... comforting.
Suddenly someone grabbed my wrist, this startled me and i pulled back losing my footing and taking the person with me to the ground.
I had the wind knocked out of me and as I groaned I realized there was something heavy on me. slowly I realized that it was the man from before.
Persistent!
"Get off me," I tried but he didn't move, I noticed the red mark on his forehead, did he hit his head when we fell?
He was heavy but I managed to roll him off, I need to go before he wakes up again.
I brushed myself off and stood getting ready to leave again, probably to find the next town when a groan startled me. He was still unconscious and I wanted to leave him there... But he had saved me so the least I could do was to return the favor.
"you stupid creature. Why are you so obsessed with me?" I asked softly while trying to get him propped up against the wall knowing I wouldn't get an answer.