Haruki flicked his tongue and sighed. Jihyo, who sat beside him, groaned a little.
"It's the fourth time you sound like a deflating balloon. Yet, if I ask, you'll just say it's nothing." She felt a pulsating vein beneath her eye, a result of her aggravating friend.
"Oh, it's nothing that you need to worry about," Haruki stated, stretching his arms, but let out a long sigh as he relaxed them behind his head.
"That's it."
And with that, Jisoo, who sat in front of them, got out her phone and started recording how Jihyo almost ripped Haruki a new one while demanding to know what was wrong with him.
"It's not me! It's MIYEON!" He let out a screech. Jihyo stopped and Jisoo lowered her phone. Yeonjun, who was done attending the last pick-up order, walked over to them with the sole purpose of chastising them, but once he heard the mention of their wine-haired friend, he stopped and listened.
"What about Miyeon?" Jihyo asked, almost challenging Haruki to give her a vague response like he had been doing since he placed foot at the Café.
"She has been acting weird all week," Haruki said, rubbing a bit of his wrist.
"Weird, how?" Yeonjun asked, at the same time he prepared an ice pack for Haruki. Oddly enough, the boy turned out to be their practical nurse, as somehow, he would always carry around first-aid kits or any medical supplies. His explanation? Years of looking out for his sister, who although graceful when dancing now that she was older, had a rough start as a beginner ballet dancer.
"Well, she is quieter than usual in classes. Her volatile state has risen at least two levels in the past two days at the store. And her eyes look so…" Haruki couldn't finish the sentence, but someone else did.
"Dead and cold?" Everyone turned around to see the tall brunette approaching them. Uniform dirty as he had just come out of his coverage for a third shift Janitor who had decided to not show up.
"Yeah…" Haruki raised an eyebrow. "How do you know?"
"I just bumped into her while coming here. Her glances and stares towards me are always fiery and challenging. Today, it was like looking into a void." Junseo recalled, furrowing his eyebrows.
Jisoo didn't miss the way he had accurately described Miyeon's look, and although she was also remembering her friend looking a bit down over the week, her mind went elsewhere as it preoccupied itself with the attention Junseo must've been giving to Miyeon to notice something so small, yet menacing when spotted. The fact that he described it as 'How she looks at me' meant he had also noticed how her glances and eyes changed, even if she hid her emotions like a mime.
"I texted her this morning. And she said she was busy with some stuff." Haruki began.
"But, I have a weird feeling about it." He continued.
"But…?" Jihyo urged him to continue, and Jisoo decided to fill in the gap.
"You don't want to be pushy about it." Jisoo stated, after 'reading his mind'
"Yes! I just… Don't know. I feel like I should go and visit her today because she said she was busy, but never said I couldn't come and help." Haruki said.
"She also knows I have a shift at the store later today, and will get mad at me if I skip it." He rubbed the back of his neck.
"Then let me and Jisoo go," Jihyo suggested, Jisoo nodded.
"No!" Haruki yelled, remembering how Miyeon felt about having people over at her house who she had not invited.
"Huh?" The girls looked confused, Yeonjun raised his hand.
"Not you either." He said.
Haruki started thinking, Miyeon valued her friend's opinion a lot, and wasn't ready to show them the 'poor' state in which she lived. She was confident enough to show him that side of her, but he didn't want to break her trust by sending over individuals of which opinion or views she would feel ashamed of.
If he wanted someone to check up on her, it had to be someone whose opinion didn't matter two pickles to her. But who?
"You guys are making a big deal. Maybe she is just tired, and decided today wasn't worth looking at through rose-tinted glasses." Junseo's sharp mouth came as a cascade of ideas to Haruki. The Japanese boy smiled widely while leaning over to Junseo.
"Hyung?" He called in the sweetest of voices.
"Huh?" Junseo had gotten used to the smaller boy calling him that and had given up on trying to change it. Yeonjun had adopted the name too and called him that from time to time. He would be lying if he said it didn't warm his insides hearing them call him that.
"Remember that you own me?" Haruki gave a small flutter of lashes.
"Eh?" Junseo was confused, but then he realized the topic which they had been discussing, the smile on Haruki's face, and the look in his eyes. Something clicked in Junseo's head, and he started refusing even before he heard the proposal.
"Whatever it is, if it involves Miyeon, I'm not doing it." He said firmly.
"Come on! She would never expect for YOU to come and check up on her." Haruki gave away his idea, the rest suddenly felt a small relief, thinking to themselves the reason Haruki hadn't wanted them to go was that it would be too obvious that he had sent them. Haruki silently apologized, because whatever reason they were thinking, it wasn't remotely close to the real one.
"And what do I get out of it?" Junseo suddenly asked.
"Oh, please! She's your friend, friends don't charge for favors!" Jisoo said. Junseo gagged.
"She's not my friend." He stated. "I tolerate her on mutual and silent agreement of not ruining the nice atmosphere we have come to find while in this group." He explained.
"Besides, even if she was my friend. She is not the one asking for the favor. You guys are." He called out with a smirk.
"But we ARE your friends!" The rest called out offended.
"And for that reason, I'll give you a discount." Junseo grinned, eyes disappearing behind his smile.
The rest groaned, but their curiosity, plus the concern towards Miyeon was bigger than their financial dismay at the hands of their shameless friend.
After a bit of bargain, and Junseo stating that he was charging them incidental feeds since there was no guarantee Miyeon would not attack him if she saw him come to her place unannounced (or at the very least have him arrested for 'stalking her' before Haruki could talk to the cops) The 'frenemy' was on his way to look out for his redheaded nuisance.
"She does live outside the city." He muttered to himself, looking out of the train window.
If his intuition wasn't failing, she was about an hour or so away from his home. The university was right in the middle, and that's how they were all able to hang out so often, despite living in very far ends of the city, and in Miyeon's case, outside of it.
Junseo rested his head, and the empty wagon suddenly felt a bit too lonely. He enjoyed the quietness, but the apparent stillness of the place creeped him out. He shuddered and took a small breath to ease his nerves. He then began to doze off, and by the time he knew it, his eyes had closed.
A couple of hours later, Junseo was awoken by the shaking of his shoulder, and a voice calling him.
"Young man! Young man! Please wake up!" His blurry vision barely made out the conductor's uniform, and he remembered where he was. He woke up in a sprint and almost knocked down the old conductor.
"I'm sorry, Ahjussi!" He bowed to show respect and the deepness of his apology at having to startle the poor man.
"No need to worry. I made my route twice already and noticed that nobody had gotten off the four times I stopped, but I remember you getting on this wagon. I do my route alone as there is almost nobody who takes this train to go outside the city to this area. So I couldn't send anyone to check up on you until I was done." The words of the conductor echoed in Junseo's mind.
He had been so exhausted from covering second and third shifts that he had slept through the train's route, twice. He gulped.
"Ahjussi, where are we?" He asked.
"Oh, inside the city of course." He answered with a smile.
"Ahjussi, could you…?" He stopped himself. Why did he need to go now? It was late. Miyeon was probably doing fine, he checked his phone and saw that it had died a good minute ago, but he figured none had come to look for him. They all thought he had gone to Miyeon.
'They won't know, and even if they do, they were aware I was incredibly tired and still made me come this far.'
He had made up his mind to get off the train and head home, he would deal with his friends in the morning.
But,
"I'm worried about her."
"She didn't look like herself these past few days."
The concern of his friends made him hesitate. But, he shook them off.
At least until the memory of Miyeon's eyes and the way they seemed so off and dead struck his mind again. He gulped and wondered why his heart suddenly raced with concern for the nuisance of a girl. He made eye contact with the conductor and noticed he now looked concerned for him. He had made up his mind, and this time he didn't change it.
"Ahjussi, I have a favor to ask." He could feel his pleading voice coming out, ready to beg in order to get the conductor to do one thing for him.
To drive him back, even if it meant he would be stuck outside the city until the next train early in the morning.
Another hour and the sun was giving signs of setting, and Junseo was currently walking towards a share of apartments about one mile away from the train station. Aside from the apartments, the rest of the neighborhood were rural houses, with a lot of senior citizens stepping out to their porches to enjoy the last rays of sunlight. A couple of kids were running here and there, bearing wide smiles as they chased each other before their mothers called them in for bedtime. He figured the apartments were the correct address Haruki had sent him. He went up the stairs to apartment number 7, lucky number.
The building itself shifted his mood, the navy blue turning almost pitch black as the light began to dim. The windows were uniformly painted in eggshell white, the window beside the door he was meant to knock on, was polished and very well taken care of. The rest looked like the boiled eggshells of a recently cooked egg, paint scraping down. The door in front of him must've been the most parallel thing, yet harmonizing with the gloomy prospect of the building. The door was a pale orange color, somehow the intensity and saturation increased as his eyes went lower, as if the colors had blended until the bottom of the door was the rusty tone of old bronze. The work seemed like that of a professional, the paint roller texture evident and yet in total synchrony with the strokes of a paintbrush.
He shook his head, having no time to admire the door anymore, as the light had died completely, and he was now staring in solemn darkness. That, until the outside porch light was turned on. He remembered why he was there. And so, without a second thought, he just knocked.
Inside the apartment, a small bundle of blankets began to move, as if brought back to life. Through half-closed eyes, Miyeon reached out for her alarm, having confused the knocks on the door with her annoying daytime announcer. To obey the law of physics, her body instinctively bent towards where her arm was stretching, rolling out of the covers, and onto the floor. There on the cold tile floor, Miyeon realized she was still hearing the sound, despite knocking her alarm off and out of the way. She got up and walked towards the door, drowsily yawning and stretching her arms. Once in front of the door, she peeked through the hole, but all she could see was a very close shot of someone's white shirt. Without a second thought, she yelled out a question, demanding the stranger to tell her his name.
"Who are you!?" She yelled but there was no response. Miyeon suddenly felt wide awake, and grabbed a small wooden crook she used to sometimes hold her door open while cleaning, so she wouldn't suffocate to death with the smell of bleach.
"Who are you?" She demanded again, holding the crook in front of her, the door still locked. She began to panic, and that panic grew more when she heard another knock, actually multiple knocks, rapid and almost…
Desperate?
Miyeon lowered the crook, and once her heart stopped its solo drum show, her ears shot up while she caught a faint voice. Moving her ears, she felt a small intruder in her eardrums, she moved her hand up and took out an orange plug out of one ear, and she could hear everything with pure clarity now.
"Miyeon? Miyeon, are you there?" Including the worry in the voice outside her door, the knocks were becoming louder, and she was still in her place. Having a sudden realization that she knew that voice all too well. She dropped the crook and swung the door open.
That would have been better if Junseo had not charged at the door at the same time with pure intentions of taking it down, which, although she hated to admit it, would have been achieved judging by the force with which he tackled Miyeon.
"UGH!"
"ARGH!"
Now, on the floor of her living room, since Junseo had charged with enough force to throw them a few feet away from the door, both young adults groaned as they tried to detangle themselves from each other. Miyeon rubbed her head and sent Junseo a deadly glare.
"What is your problem?! Have you not learned that throwing yourself at women is not going to get you a date?" She asked angrily. Junseo, who had gotten up already (the daily fights they had with each other had given him quite the resistance to hits) sent her an offended look.
"Is this how you treat someone who came to check whether you were dead or not?" He asked, Miyeon stood up and almost growled at him.
"Are you done checking?" She hissed.
"Yeah!" He took a cue to leave, but as soon as he turned on his heels, he was able to take a better look around.
The place was a mess.
There were boxes of tissue around the floor, along with ramen packages and blankets and pillows spread here and there.
There was also a lot of beer.
He glanced at Miyeon to take in a better look at her appearance, and he confirmed his suspicion.
She had been drinking, and a lot.
Her oversized shirt passed her thighs, and from there the start of men's shorts was visible, they were too big for her, and they passed her knees. Half of her hair barely hung in her hair tie, the other half, well at least it wasn't in her face. She was barefooted, and the air in the room was freezing. Junseo looked at her and felt what he deemed as pity, but the small burning and weight in his chest by seeing her like this were far from any pitiful feelings he had felt in his life.
And he knew a thing or two about feeling pity, for others, for himself.
It wasn't pity, it was genuine worry.
He gulped and turned fully to face her.
"You know what? I can't go back home. You wanna know why?" He asked sharply.
"Why?" Despite her state, and the sudden shame she felt of being seen in this state, Miyeon didn't let that affect her comebacks or witty attitude.
"Because I don't want to." He affirmed. He grabbed her wrist and as if he had been there millions of times, guided her to the kitchen table. There, he spread the contents of the bag he had been carrying since he left the Café that afternoon. There were a few pills, banana milk cartons, and snacks. He grabbed a few pills for the headache Miyeon was sure having after drinking the fresh soju bottles lying around her living room area. She grabbed with disdain and gulped them down without water.
"D-did you just?" Junseo felt terrified.
"What? Never seen that before?" She arched an eyebrow, just to wince later as a sharp pain hit her left temple.
"What is wrong with you today?" Junseo asked, bold as ever.
"What do you mean? And why do you care? For all you know I could just be dying right now." She snorted, Junseo ignored the sudden giggle.
"Don't get my hopes up," Junseo muttered.
"Huh?!" Miyeon exclaimed.
"Nothing," Junseo replied. He then noticed the girl slowly rocking herself, he smelled trouble, and so he grabbed her shoulders and directed her to the sofa, where to once again confirm his suspicions, Miyeon let her head fall back, eyes shutting.
The auburn headed stared at her, waiting for a proper answer to his question.
Miyeon didn't know whether it was the pill on an empty stomach, the loneliness she left, or the pathetic need to be reassured by someone, anyone, that led her to answer said question.
"I had to make a phone call today," Her voice came out with sudden coldness as if the topic was nothing of importance. Junseo stayed quiet.
"Junseo…" She called, before continuing, Junseo grunted in response, somehow not wanting to say anything in fear she might try to switch topics.
She didn't try.
"Have you ever wanted to show someone who hurt you? The exact opposite of reality?" Even though she couldn't see him, Miyeon could swear the brunette had an eyebrow raised. She faced the ceiling and a melancholy smile formed on her face.
"Or have you ever tried to show someone you miss, that you don't care about them anymore?" Miyeon asked. Once again Junseo stayed silent.
"Today," She gave a long sigh. "Today, I called my parents, who are miles and miles away from me. And…" She stopped, taking in a sharp breath.
"And convinced them that I no longer miss nor resent them." She let out.
"But," She paused, gulping the air, fighting back soft sobs. "I do." She covered her eyes.
"I miss them so, so much. I-" She felt a pair of arms lifting her from her supine position, embracing her in full empathy. Full understanding.
Junseo felt his own expression soften, and let his chin rest on her shoulder. He felt her tense up and wondered if he should let go. He shifted a little, with a clear intention of letting go. But her voice stopped him.
"You miss someone, too?" She asked in a quiet voice. He felt a strange weight on his chest.
"Yeah…" He muttered.
"I'm sorry." She said, suddenly her arms wrapped around him, and she hugged him.
His sympathy levels had never been too high. He was able to see someone cry on the street and might even turn a blind eye to it. But, this wasn't sympathy, nor pity.
He truly understood her. He felt empathy. They stayed hugging for a full minute until they let go. Taking a good look at her face he could see the tinge of melancholy and nostalgia in her shallow eyes. He wondered if he looked the same, as his current numb state prevented him from changing his expressions.
Suddenly, Miyeon laughed.
"Ptff! Haha!" She let out, but then locked eyes with him. "We shall never speak of this. Got it?" She deadpanned. Junseo found the transition from sobbing mess, to maniac laugh, and then to seriousness altogether confusing, but somehow hilarious. He found himself smirking.
"Oh? You don't want people to know you finally fell for my charms?" He teased, Miyeon scoffed.
"Me? Please. I was just…" She turned her face away. "Returning the favor." She coughed a little.
There was silence in the room for a bit too long. The heavy atmosphere felt a bit suffocating all of a sudden. Both young adults realized that, if it wasn't them fighting, arguing, or maybe joining a conversation with the rest of the group, they rarely exchanged words.
"So…" Miyeon said.
"What?" Junseo asked, but realized his tone had gone to the default setting of annoyance whenever he talked to Miyeon.
Miyeon blinked a bit, taken aback by the sudden rudeness.
"Rude." She called out. Junseo wanted to fix and retaliated but decided against it since his ego was hurt after the sudden sort of heart-to-heart movement they had shared. He was scared of her asking questions, and to find himself somehow answering them with genuine responses. But, Miyeon didn't seem to have intentions of asking personal questions.
But, she did have other questions.
"How'd you get here?" She asked, he was about to answer when she spurted out another question.
"Why are you here? Who told you to come? Was it Haruki? Did he pay you?" Her mouth ran like a motor in full power.
His head was becoming dizzy with the questions, she was hitting the nail in its head with many of them, too.
"Wait!" Miyeon yelled.
"You-you" She said in a tremble.
At this point, Junseo was sure the pills were acting up.
"You are in my house!" She exclaimed, somehow Junseo was able to get a word out this time. Not the best choice of vocabulary, though.
"No. Really?" He snapped in sarcasm.
Miyeon stared at him blankly for a second, and Junseo knew he had just made a mistake.
"Out."
"Wait, But-"
"Out."
"Let me ex-"
"Junseo."
"What?"
"Get out of my house this instant."
"Well, you see there is a problem with that." He rubbed his neck.
"And what is the problem?" She crossed her arms.
"I, well-" He paused for a second. He couldn't let her know that he slept through the train's route, twice, he would never hear the end of it.
"Well, I took the last train here. And the next one won't come until tomorrow." Miyeon raised an eyebrow.
"So, I was…he…hoping that…" He couldn't finish his sentence.
"Absolutely, not." Miyeon firmly stated.
"Oh, come on! You haven't even given me a chance!" He said, as much as he dreaded the option, he was not willing to spend the night outside, no way.
"Oh? So now you've fallen for my charms and wish to have a chance with me?" Miyeon said dramatically, fanning herself as if Junseo was proposing marriage. Junseo stared at her blankly.
"Ok. Listen, I won't bother you. I'll be gone in the morning. And besides…" He said, reclining over the sofa's arm.
"Will you truly let the person who brought food and medicine for you, suffer in the cold outside?"
"Of course not."
"There, I-"
"I'll give you a blanket."