was a nervous wreck until we reached the hospital. After parking Ryan just sat there watching me.
"Are you ready to go?" He asked. I nodded unable to speak.
We were ushered to the waiting room an elderly nurse came and asked the patient's name. After what felt like eternity we finally were told that he was on second floor room number 24 A. We didn't take the elevator instead climbed the stairs to calm myself. After we reached the second floor I spotted mom in seating area with her head in her hands and I think she might be crying. I immediately ran towards her. "Mom!" She swiveled her head towards me and fresh tears spilled from her eyes. I hugged her to me.
"Please mom, what happened to dad. It's not anything serious, is it?" I asked her, hoping against hope for it to be true.
She closed her eyes and shook her head.
"He's got lung cancer. The doctors are saying that it's the terminal stage, that nothing can work. Only a miracle can cure him." She whispered and my world turned upside down. This cannot happen. No.
"What about radiation and chemotherapy? Surely that'll work. They atleast have to try" I cried indignantly
"Yeah they said that they'll try everything they can but turnover rate is very low and.... also we have to sell off our house to afford the bill."
Everything was a mess I don't know how we were going to manage. But we have to make it work for dad, I won't let him down. After I took a seat next to mom Ryan came around handing my mom and me a go to coffee container.
"I'm so sorry Mrs. Callahan. Is there any way that I can help you?" He asked
"You're a good boy, Ryan. There is nothing you can do, though I appreciate your concern" she gave a wobbly smile to him and I was actually surprised she remembered his name.
He nodded and looked at me.
"Y'all need to eat, I'll bring some takeout, is Thai alright?"
I almost laughed at his question, I hardly had an appetite and I'm sure if I ate anything now I'd throw it up. But my mom nodded
"Paige, you go I'll be here. The twins are also here somewhere, they helped me bring your dad here when the ambulance arrived and don't mind bringing me anything I'm not hungry." She said
Just then Ethan and Reid rounded the corner as they came closer, Ethan immediately embraced me in a warm hug and Ryan stiffened beside me.
"I'm so sorry, Paige girl I can't imagine what you must be going through" he said with tears glistening in his eyes. I was in shock I guess and when it'll be over, I'd break down I'm sure of it. All of this seemed so surreal.
"Let's go Paige." Ryan said with an unreadable expression
"Where are you going?" Reid asked ignoring Ryan.
"Mom gave Ryan the responsibility to feed me, eventhough I'm not at all hungry."
"If you don't wanna go then don't. " he said glancing at Ryan whose jaw was clenched tight and a muscle in cheek twitched. He seemed pissed.
"No it's okay, I'll go just to satisfy mom. I'll see you guys later." I said and tugged Ryan away from them.
"Do you want anything? To eat?" I asked
"Nah, we just ate" he replied "thanks though"
"No problem" I said and followed Ryan who was already halfway down the stairs.
"What was that? Why were you so pissed at them?"
"The guys have boundary issues, and who are they to decide what's good for you and what's not?" He said in a low dangerous voice.
"They weren't deciding anything for me, Reid was just suggesting me and anyways they've been nothing but helpful I cannot snap at them or anything."
He snorted in response, we buckled up to go. I guided Ryan towards my favorite bistro and after finishing my meal I realized I'd been ravenous. After the waitress left the bill on our table I removed my wallet but Ryan beat me to it.
"I've got it." He said
"But let me pay the half, it's only fair." I argued, but he took my hand and stood up.
"There's no need, when will you stop being so stubborn?" He grumbled stroking the wrist of my hand. He wasn't even aware that he was doing it I realized. But I didn't remove my hand from his it felt good and fit perfectly against his. Unfortunately after reaching his Rover he released my hand, my fingers still tingled from where he held it.
After reaching the hospital I got out of his car.
"Thank you for everything, Ryan. It means a lot to me, too didn't have to do all that for me but yet you did and I really appreciate your help. But now you have to leave, your parents might be worried... oh my God, Avery...? We didn't think about her. Goddamnit."
"Don't worry, Mom is home. Did you forget?"
"Oh yeah, I forgot" I replied rubbing my forehead
"I better go, see if dad or mom needs anything." I said
"Yeah, take care and call me if there's any problem, okay and for Pete's sake don't be ashamed to ask for help, yes?"
"Yes dad, now go" I said
"Kinky, I like it" he joked and pulled away before I could retort.
When I entered dad's room in the hospital, he was awake and calm.
"Hey dad, how are you?" I asked him
He smiled
"As good as I can be." He said and my throat choked up with emotion. Dad noticed my eyes glistening and tried to get up from the bed.
"Don't " I said and sat on the chair next to his bed
"You have to fight through it, dad. Please. I don't... I can't.." then I started crying helplessly and he let me cry, softly stroking my hair like he used to when was a kid.
"I'm okay with it poppet, I've lived my life and if I have to go now, it'll be fine. You've got your whole life ahead, it gets easier, I promise." He said and I cried harder.
"What if I'm not fine with it, dad. What then?"
"It's not your choice." He said with a sad smile. I just hope you'll realize that you aren't responsible for everything poppet. Stop burdening yourself Paige, and live your life like there's no tomorrow. Promise me that you'll take risks and won't lose hope if anything doesn't go the way you expected. Promise me." He said
"I promise." I said and he smiled genuinely looking happy.
"I love you, dad" I said
"Love you more, poppet" he replied and drifted off to sleep.
I sat there for a long while just staring at him and feeling tired so very tired of everything I just wanted to give up. But I won't, not yet.