I walked away from Kas, thinking distance would help but I still felt like I was fighting being pulled by a elephant to go back and kiss her. I reached the shared bedroom door and closed it behind me, I breathed heavily and the pull subsided for now, I let out a big sigh of relief as I dropped to the floor "At least now I know why my older siblings kept telling me not to resist the pull" I said to myself as I got up. I saw Kas's suitcase still open on the floor 'I must have rushed her out the door before she could begin to unpack.. wait.. is that all she has? two outfits and the oversized ceremony dress' I thought, maybe she was in a rush and only packed a little? I opened the door and walked to the couch to ask her. When I got to the couch, she wasn't there so I walked around the house. I checked all of the rooms that I showed her, I started thinking where she might have gone. Then I remembered the secret room. "DANG IT!" I shouted as I ran to the room.
I slid to a stop when I saw the door open, I saw her face turned red as she slowly scanned the room with her eyes. I let out a big sigh and ran my hand through my hair, I cleared my throat to get her attention. Her eyes snapped to mine and my heart skipped a beat, I got a little uncomfortable so I looked down "My mother prepared this room for... our... um... kids.." I stuttered, my face just as red as hers.
In the room, specialized baby and kid equipment was held. When half-swans have babies, they have all the babies in a week and one after the other each day for 5 to seven days; depending on how many babies you have. So there is seven of everything: seven cribs, 3 bunk beds and one alone, seven in one stroller.. you understand how embarrassing it is now..
She turned and smiled at me, that's right.. she smiled! AT ME! Her smile made me smile, except my smile came out small and lopsided due to my shock and confusion over her reaction. "this.." she paused, she hasn't looked at my face yet. She looking more at my chest so I can't see her full reaction and honestly I'm super tense. "this.. is PERFECT!" she squealed, she looked me in the eyes. My heart sped up and I felt the pull, my brain stopped working, I grabbed her and pulled her to me.
She gasped at the unexpected reaction from me, I stared at her in my arms as I fought with the pull. She was closer to me than she's ever been and the pull was stronger than earlier, I wasn't ready to accept it yet here I was. I gritted my teeth and pushed her from me, she fell to her butt as I fell to the floor on my hands. The toll of resisting hurt but at last it subsided for now, I breathed heavily. "you know.." I heard her soft voice from in front of me.
"this will be worse and more often, kissing me will help. The pull will stop for a week" she said to me, I sighed as I sat down in front of her and ran my hands in my hair. I looked down to avoid another pull "I.. I'm not.. ready.." I slowly and softly admitted, a little ashamed and embarrassed. I heard her scoot closer to me, I tensed up at her being near "It's okay.. I.. I understand.. you don't have to tell me.. I've noticed.. it's hard for you to accept me.. I don't know why but I.. I've been through what you're going through before. I hope you see that fighting will only bring you pain, the longer you resist.. the harder it will be.. not just for you but for me as well, the pull puts a toll on us both but it's worse when you fight it" she said, I heard her get up and leave.
I relaxed when I heard her walk out the door, I was left in the no longer secret nursery to contemplate what she said. 'I need to fight the pull, I hate being forced to do anything! This mate pull is so infuriating! I can't even trust myself to be near her without doing something.. I can't think straight, when I didn't resist the pull because I wasn't thinking it did feel different. Resisting felt like pulling an elephant on a sled (exhausting, painful, difficult, and draining) Then that moment when I stopped resisting and instead pulled her to me.. it felt so different.. I've never felt that.. it's new, it freaks me out! I don't even know how to describe it!' I thought to myself.
I groan, I need to sleep on the couch. As I make my way to the living room, I stepped carefully across the floor and looked around frantically. I stopped after I realized what I was doing "this is ridiculous" I said to myself, then laid on the couch. Avoiding her would probably be the best option, I have some work to catch up on anyway.. I don't know what will happen but I don't want to give into the pull again.
I roll over to face the couch, my mind still racing but I squeezed my eyes shut in effort to force myself to sleep. I practically just tossed and turned all night, the couch wasn't comfortable but there was no way I was going to sleep in the same room as her! Am I stubborn? Heck yes! Am I being childish? probably. Am I giving in to stop the pain and suffering? Heck no! Am I crazy? most likely. Am I going to avoid her? Heck yes! Am I dragging her with me? apparently so.