Ahh, 2023, you were an exciting set of 365 days, 8,760 hours, and 31,536,000 seconds, huh? At least, it was for me. Over that year, I said hello to the two halves of my family for the first time in years, my junior year of college, and somehow held down two jobs and two internships simultaneously.I also had to say goodbye this year to friends, people I wish I could've been friends with, and my grandmother. It's a year in which I made mistakes I don't want to repeat 20 years from now and a year in which I'm worried about where I'll even be two years from now. Yet, through all the burnout, I can at least say with pride that I'm closer to the man I want to be.Of course, most of my musings are small potatoes compared to the changes seen within the entertainment industry. A lot has happened between the writer's and actor's strike, the growing conversation of AI, streaming's ongoing clash with seeing movies in the theater, and the ever-prevalent superhero/summer blockbuster not being the most profitable.Yet, we still have a transformative and solid list of films through it all. Given that I hope to help make them one day, what better way to celebrate last year's achievements than by showing off a list of 38 films I saw this year, from worst to best? Let's close off 2023 for good and adequately say hello to 2024 through this.NoteIt's obvious, but this will be a comprehensive list of every theatrical film I saw this year, whether streaming or in theaters. I will provide a small link to the letterbox score below if you want to avoid hearing my detailed opinions and scripts. These last two parts should also go without saying, but to avoid spoilers, skip or watch the films I mention here.Oh, and remember, this is my honest goddamn opinion. Like real talk outside of art being objective, the sheer variety of films I saw this year is impossible to compare objectively. Combine that with me just seeing some of these films repeatedly compared to others I've seen only once, and that shakes things up even more. Hell, half the reason why I'm even doing this in January has to do with me simply running the fucking gauntlet on every pirating site I could find.On that note, I would like to give a moment of silence to every excellent film I couldn't see this year. The Marvels, Iron Claw, Boy and the Heron, American Fiction, Reinfield and Godzilla Minus One, The Blackening, and Creed 3. I also would like to highlight my one dishonorable mention, the Flash, and I'll be happy to let you all niggas know it would automatically be the worst movie I saw this year of the principal. Because remember, kids, dead people can't consent to A, I. Moving on from that little footnote, we can now begin the list proper.
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#38: Ant-Man QuantmaniaRemember when I said that this year was a solid set of films? I still mean that. Even the worst film on this list is pretty good. Still, I prefer the first couple of minutes of the movie. From what I've heard about Quantmania, I would've loved a smaller-scale superhero movie that focused on family and Scott trying to make up for his lost time against Modok.Instead, we get another world-shaking Marvel movie with a bloated cast in a location I feel I need to be more invested in. The Quantum Realm has some neat world-building implications, but I preferred it being this completely barren and wild place in the second movie, borderline a cosmic horror in the first, and then the alien location we got.Scott learning to "look out for the little guy" is a fun motivation for his character, but he doesn't feel like an arc he must overcome in this film. Cassie finally being put into action is cool, but I don't find Kathryn Newton to deliver her performances that well. It is funny that in a movie called Ant-Man and the Wasp, it's Janet, Scott, and Cassie for the ride while Hope and Hank are just window-dressing.Getting into more positives, though, Kang is a decent villain who is well-acted (still fuck Majors), but this appearance kind of ruins any form of hype he might have commanded. This guy was so strong he essentially needed to be sealed into the Quantum Realm by the Council of Kangs, but he gets beaten by Ant-Man without any real repercussions. As they set up, the guy who got beat by Ant-Man was only one of many people who could get beat by Ant-Man.I'll give the movie this screen, though; the probability storm was cool as fuck. Scott looks at all the different directions his life could have taken, but still being unified by his daughters' love is so underrated and fills me with great joy—more joy than anything I felt by the movie's end. But this won't be the last time Marvel and the MCU are here, so fear not. #37: PlaneHave you ever had that movie you can't recall? That's Plane for me. In a sea of more unique elements in the film, Plane lands itself here purely because it doesn't do the most to stand out, which is the point. You can say it is a little too plain. Jean-François Richet provides a very grounded movie with muted colors and minimal music to create a tense action thriller.Gerard Butler and Mike Colter sell the more graphic and brutal fight scenes alongside the more tense moments. Still, with a forgettable-as-hell main villain and stock characters, plus the sheer competition of other action movies, Plane can take off here.#36: Fast XPulling up in the bottom brackets, we got the latest installment in the movie franchise that I've wanted to see get pit-stopped since 2019. There is an appeal to the Fast Franchise, especially with its humble origins. Still, past a certain point where every character has become a demigod, I genuinely stop being invested. The only reason why I even showed up for this one was because I wanted some free popcorn, and my mom lowkey dragged me here. It's like a race if you catch my drift (no, I'm not stopping these any time soon).Still, after the over two-hour movie, I struggled to say what it was about. 2023 has had an odd number of movies that market themselves as part of a multipart narrative, but I feel like this one suffers the most from it quickly. The entire feature feels like I'm getting gassed up for a second part that will have me blow a gasket, but instead, all I did get was stalled.The sheer number of the characters in the crew has exploded so severely that we essentially get four ongoing plots (Dom's race with Dante, Letty's imprisonment, Roman and Tej's subplot going nowhere, and Jakob's interactions with Brian). Still, outside of Dom's story, they all feel like timewasters. Not that I particularly care about Vin Diesel's self-insert, but more so following him means we'll get to the actual best part of the movie Dante.No Bullshit at all. Dante genuinely shares the podium for favorite 2023 movie villains. Jason Moma treats this shit like the cartoon show it is and rides it all the way home to give a villain who is so much fun while getting away with not killing Dom immediately. His backstory may be contrived, but with how much scenery he's chewing, I don't care because it's the only thing I care about.None of the action scenes shifted me into compassion, and I know everyone is OK since no one in this franchise can stay dead. This fact becomes even more apparent to me as the DCEU's utter failure manages to bring back two characters into the fold. Either way, if there is a just God, I won't be there to see it. #35: Old DadsR-rated comedies will appear several times here, but my stance on them will remain the same. I think they can be some of the most entertaining films alive if they have other elements at play or someone who knows how to say "cut." This movie doesn't have either. I'm not the most accustomed to Bill Bur's comedy (mainly F is for Family), and he will make another appearance on this list, so I feel better about putting it this low.Old Dads is an OK movie that I at least respect for both critiquing modern-day social norms and the older ones. Bill Burr, Bobby Cannavale, and Bokeem Woodbine are also great actors with good chemistry, but they still command a movie that I don't have much to say about. Maybe it's because I'm older or know people who talk like this, but I'd be fine if this were a golden oldie for someone else.#34: Shazam: Fury of GodsDo you ever have that one movie you want to shoot for despite knowing you don't have a leg to stand on? Because Shazam was that movie. As someone who loved the first movie during a time when DCEU had ... something to exist on. I wanted to like this movie. Then Dwayne Johnson, Zachary Levi Black Adam, The Flash, and James Gunn happened, sucking any faith I had in this film.People were already stating that Zachery Levi and Asher Angel didn't feel like the same characters before, and that's more evident here with such limited screen time. The latter is making the most of every bit of screen time, while the former is not really acting but more so being himself. Freddy is the MC who gets the lion's share.His relationship with Anthea and subsequent kidnapping mean he interacts more with the wizard and the villains than Billy. He also has some of the best jokes, and my favorite moment in the film is when he stares down the dragon in human form—a feat that elicits far more emotion than anything Billy did.Billy's upstaging is so weird because his arc of trying not to grow up and potentially leave his new family is fascinating. Mary desires to go to college to live her life despite being chained to her foster family, which is excellent. Pedro's focus on coming out is amazing, but all those scenes that emphasize those issues are trapped behind deleted scenes. And for a list like this, I shouldn't judge a film that could've happened but what we got. And what I wanted was more.#33: JoyrideRemember what I said about R-rated comedies? Yeah, most of that stuff applies here again. Joyride is a movie that's not exactly for me, but I respect it for even existing. Adele Lim gets to show her stuff again while headlining a prominent Asian cast, which I appreciate. In a movie as outrageous as this, Joy Ride gets a couple more points off me for at least attempting to stick to its relatable story.As someone who's half Bajan but always grew up in the United States, I always felt like a part of me was missing out on a piece of my culture. This is something this movie outlines through its main character, Audrey. Combined with Sabrina Wu's Deadeye and some decent joke segments like the K-pop section, hotel sex scene, and almost any scene with Kat and Joy Rude, it is a fun time; I just don't want to replay that often. It's a solid movie. I don't have much to say.