Loafing around in a tangle of no less than three plush blankets, a young woman is sprawled out in her dormitory bed within the Unified Dimensional Preservation Force headquarters. As if in competition to be more of a disaster than the pile of fabric, her shoulder-blade length cinnamon-brown hair is stretched out in every direction imaginable, almost entirely blocking her pillow from view.
As she grins foolishly, her silver eyes are transfixed on a thin screen adhered to her ceiling, which is currently playing an action sequence from a horror movie. She sniffles loudly and blindly smacks the mattress to her side a few times, eventually finding a crushed box of tissues and grabbing one just in time to block a sneeze.
Blowing her nose a few times to get her sinuses to achieve a state that could be vaguely considered clear, she balls up the spent tissue and chucks it straight to her right. It collides with a gold-framed certificate, which given the fact that it's hanging crooked and has more than a few dirty smears on it, seems to be regularly abused in a similar fashion. After the collision, the balled-up waste bounces and falls down into the waiting garbage can, joining a small army of kindred mucous-laden trash.
Making a low chuckle with a questionable undertone while watching a barely-clothed half-human half-spider woman screaming and running in a panic from an absurdly large wall of flames, there's a sudden series of knocks at the door.
Rhythmically knocking to the pattern of 'shave and a haircut', there is a brief pause before she reaches over and knocks twice on the nearby wall with her left fist in response.
While the door swings open with no small amount of force behind it, the woman in the movie's screaming has increased in intensity as the raging inferno has inexplicably caught up with her running at her top speed, beginning to scorch her rearmost pair of legs.
Entering the room while carrying a tray with folded up legs, covered with a large ceramic lidded bowl as well as a pitcher, glasses, utensils, and some miscellaneous fruit, a slender average height man steps in and then stops to look up at the ceiling as well.
"Eh? An Arachtaur flick? Oh, one of Svek's recommendations I guess. How you holdin' up, snotface?" Walking over to awkwardly unfold the legs of the tray and set it down in front of the woman, he tilts his head a bit while addressing her, the movements disturbing a few rogue strands of short black hair which escaped from his sloppy ponytail.
"Hells yeah, their B movies put ours to absolute shame. I swear, if I took a shot every time someone panicked at the mentioning of fire, I'd have died from alcohol poisoning by now. And do you even need to ask? I'm exactly as you'd expect me to be. Ooh, what ingredients did ol' Oogie ruin for me this time?" Waving a hand at the movie to make it pause, she sits up to examine the contents of the man's offering.
"I'm pretty sure if he ever heard you call him that, you'd be eating microwaved scraps for a week." Walking over towards a window set in a far wall, he chuckles and responds without bothering to look back at her.
"Bold of you to assume I get enough time off between missions to even care. I swear, this next mission is bottom of the barrel, but they still insisted I 'had' to be the one to do it. I'd bet it's really because no one else wanted to deal with the dumb side effects of this vaccine. Elite my ass. Ooh, smells like snot, and even looks like it too." While lifting the lid off of the bowl, she uses one hand to wave the rising steam from the bowl of porridge towards her face, unable to catch a single whiff of it.
Just as she lifts a spoon to start stirring the nutritious steamed sludge, the man pulls the tightly shut curtains wide open, causing a flood of warm daylight to fill the room.
Immediately dropping the spoon and covering her face with her arms, she hisses in response.
"Oh quit it, just because you got Svek hooked on vampire movies doesn't mean you have to act like one. It's seriously nice out today." Tying small loops around the curtains to hold them open, he starts fighting with the stiff lock of the window to work on getting it open.
"Screw you, Theo!" Lowering her left arm from its duty of shielding her face, she reaches over and grabs the hilt of a shortsword covered in ornate engravings from a display rack to the side of her bed, throwing it at him once she shifts her grip enough to balance its weight.
Turning his head just enough that he can see her movements from the corner of his silver eyes, he lazily lifts his left hand and holds it palm out, an unseen force deflecting the blade before it manages to strike him, causing it to fall to the floor with a clatter.
Noting that her attention has shifted down to her efforts to recover the spoon that is 90% submerged in soupy rice, he goes back to his self-assigned task of opening the window. Taking an embarrassing amount of effort on his part, he finally manages to force it open.
Leaning out the window to enjoy a deep breath, he rests his elbows on the ledge and looks back over his shoulder at the woman in the process of licking the handle of the spoon clean.
"See? Hasn't been this-" Only a few words into his statement, he gets cut off by the loud roar of an engine of an overtaxed hoverbike just a few feet away. What hints of a soft smile were on his face fall off immediately, and he turns his head back out the window with a deadpan expression.
"Hehe, hi Theo!" Two human girls cheer at him from the back of the hoverbike, arms wrapped around each other as well as the rotund individual with four arms and elephant-like ears that is operating the stressed vehicle, which is clearly designed for only a single passenger.
The bike's engine stalls for a moment, dropping free-fall for about five feet before the operator regains control of the vehicle, the girls giggling the whole time like it's a carnival ride.
Forcing a bright customer service class smile, Theo waves at the erratically traveling trio. "G'morning ladies and gent."
Once they've passed some distance away his expression stiffens and he sighs as he leans back into the room, standing upright once again while grumbling to his companion.
"Yeah, they certainly look too busy to work, that's for sure." Sighing again, he fetches the fallen blade and heads over towards the occupied bed at a leisurely pace, hooking the wheeled chair that was at the desk next to the garbage can with his foot in order to pull it to the side of the bed. Holding the shortsword by the blade, he holds the hilt out to her and she claims it. After remounting it on its original display hooks she resumes blowing on a spoonful of porridge while impatiently waiting for it to cool enough to eat.
Once the chair is positioned close enough that he'd be able to reach the tray, he plops down on the seat, straddling the back of it as he sits on it backwards.
Grabbing a cup and filling it with water from the pitcher, he watches as she finally deigns to eat the first mouthful, waiting a moment before asking "So? How is it, your royal snotness?"
"Dare I say, there was perhaps a hint of salt..? No, I lied, it's just snot. Mmm, hot chunky snot." At the first part of her answer, he merely snorts, but when she adds her final comment he nearly does a spit-take. Taking a moment to choke back his body's urge to attempt to breathe water he laughs a bit before speaking up.
"Well, you really know how to sell it." As he normalizes his breathing, the door that wasn't fully closed swings wide open once again. A girl a few years younger than the two current occupants barges in, carrying an armload of books. Her features are very similar to Theo's, it's pretty clear at just a glance that they are most likely related.
"CELESTE! While you're actually here for once, help me studyyy… Oh, hi Theo. Wait, omg, how are you eating that? I thought I saw him pour so many spices in it that it became toxic!" As the new arrival chimes in with a cheery voice, she continues her rampage over to the side of the bed, shoves the crumpled box of tissues to the side, and plops down right next to the slowly eating woman, her books still nestled in her arms.
"Oh! You must be right, I think I just tasted one entire granule of garlic powder! Aaand the rest is all snot." Downing another spoonful, she sighs and fills herself a cup of water as well, discovering it is also equally snot flavored, not that this is surprising in any way.
Loudly clearing his throat to cover the fact that his attempt at granting flavor was exposed, Theo grabs an orange off of the tray and kicks against the edge of the bed, sliding the chair back backward, well, forward by the chair's standards, over past the desk and turning to face the wall. Scanning through the wall-mounted arsenal, he tries searching for something small enough to not be too unwieldy for his intended usage.
"Oh, not the black one, that's the dumb magnetic meteorite that can't keep an edge. Uhh, the slightly curved silver one over there should be okay." Pausing before having another spoonful of her meal, she verbally intercepts him before he grabs the offending blunt collector's item. He scoots back a bit to claim the indicated long knife instead, its gently curving silver blade has a slight blue tint to it, and the handle is wrapped with a thin strip of a supple white material similar to leather.
Now wielding the sharpened work of art, he unceremoniously uses it to steadily peel the orange in one continuous motion. While slowly rotating the fruit with his left hand to make a uniform thin strip out of the peel, he uses his feet to scoot the chair back over near the bed.