After spending a whole day with Alissa, many emotions were rushing through me as I got home.
I did have a good day with her, but something inside me still felt heavy.
Of course, it was because of Skyler. I guess I had become more sensitive since the day, I figured my feelings out for him.
I could have just told him everything. It would just end all of this, but something inside me just didn't wanted to end my current relationship with Skyler.
No…I have to stop this.
Another day pass by and it was Monday again. It was one of those days where I was supposed to meet up with Skyler.
Though I really wanted to go meet him, I decided not to. I thought it was for the better of me to stay away from him now. Every feeling will eventually fade away if I stop meeting up and talking to him.
The day after monday when I got to the class, my eyes met with Skyler's but I quickly broke the eye contact.
Just like that Days passed by and I didn't visit him on the cliff neither did I try to interact with him. I also started to spend more time with Alissa. We even started to go home together when we could.
I thought maybe spending some more time with her would make me less bummed out. At one point everyone in the campus thought me and Alissa were a couple.
Still though, I could not feel anything towards her.
One day, on a Wednesday, I was walking with Alissa and some other girls. They were asking me if I was really in a relationship with her.
"Are you guys really in a relationship?"
"You guys make a really cute couple!"
"Alissa you lucky bitch"
Alissa and I just looked at each other nervously. She was blushing a bit, though I was just uncomfortable with all the extra attention.
Just then someone bumped into me, they forcefully, but secretly handed me a paper in my hand. I could tell it was a guy though.
"Excuse me I'll be right back" I excused myself to check what it said.
The chit said: "I'm not even a threat to her."
Skyler...it was him.
I clenched the chit in my head.
You are not a threat. You are far worse than that idiot.
I thought about that as I went back to the group I was with before.
I missed him.
After the classes were over, I went to the bus. The initial plan for me was to just go home and not think much about it.
But when I reached my stop, my legs just were not allowing me to step out of the bus. It was as if my body was telling me to go meet Skyler, but my mind was telling me not to.
In the end I missed my stop and decided to go to the cliff.
I stopped in front of the path that led to the cliff. A sense of disappointment filled me.
Who are you even kidding Alex, he probably wouldn't be there either, even worst, he probably hates you now, I should just head back home.
"are you not coming?"
Just when I was about to turn around a familiar voice asked me a question passing by me.
"S-skyler"
He turned around and looked at me, his head tilted.
After a moment of silence, he just started to walk upwards. I followed him quietly. The entire time on our way up, we both kept quiet, not a single word exchanged.
It's been more than 2 weeks since we last talked, and because everything was so awkward between us now, I felt more and more uncomfortable.
The silence was broken by Skyler when we reached the end of the cliff.
"Its been long since we last talked." He said.
"Yeah.."
"You probably had fun".
We went quiet again.
This time I was the one to break it.
"I just…felt like I was invading your privacy".
He looked at me, his expression turning into a frown.
"And when the hell did, I ever say you were invading my privacy?" he asked.
I could tell he was angry but controlling himself.
"Look man I did what was good" I replied.
"who are you to decided what's good and what's wrong. Are you just trying to hide the fact that you did all this for that stupid girlfriend of yours?" he said, his tone getting higher.
Girlfriend? She's not even my girlfriend! I did this for you and your boyfriend!
"I told you about my parents, my aunt heck I even went out with you! I don't even go out with anybody all for YOU TO JUST GHOST ME?" his tone went as high as it could.
No..
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DID THIS JUST SO YOU AND YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND WON'T GET DEFENSIVE!" I replied raising my voice.
"NOW I HAVE A BOYFRIEND TOO? ALEX ARE YOU DUMB?"
Who is he kidding?
"THAT BLOND GUY FROM THE DAY WE WENT OUT! I SAW YOU EVEN INTRODUCED HIM TO YOUR AUNT"
"THAT GUY IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND! HOW CAN I DATE SOMEONE I MET JUST A DAY AGO!?"
"BU-"
He's right though, how can he date someone he met a day ago. I.AM.SO.FUCKED.UP.
Silence took over again.
The heavy weight on my chest was lifted when he said that he had nothing to do with that guy and the fact that I hurt him all this time came ringing in my head.
Skyler just turned around and sat on the edge of the cliff again facing the other side.
I-I was only thinking about myself all this time. I didn't think about how lonely he would have been. I'm so selfish.
I walked towards him and sat behind him. Sitting next to him would have made him feel worst on that moment.
"I'm sorry" I said "I was selfish , I was wrong". He stayed quiet.
After about 5 minutes he turned around, his face was close to mine.
"you really are an idiot".
By now the sun was down and only a cold breeze could be felt in our surrounding.