"Well, isn't that-how do you say? Pretty."
I turn around and see a white man in a torn white suit. He has a negro tied by the neck and hands tied by the rope he carries. "This is my sex slave Samuil. And you are Shikki, Nikkia Webb?"
I put my head down. "Growden?"
"I am. I'm thinking of changing my name. The police been here and my house isn't made for neighborhood." he scoffs, "Trash, negro draws everywhere. I got one african shitting himself. My house stank. But not my Samuil." he pinches his cheeks. "This isn't sam, this is Gazini." he faces me. "A black woman doesn't know about black culture. Black culture is about black on black crime. But I changed color." he jabs his finger at me. "White women are slaves too. Mexicans were made to work. And Arabs are completely useless. But white people are great. Her name is Molly Todd. She's even fat like black women but unlike them she wear a girdle." he says. "I love her. But I changed her name from Zofia to Molly because she's part negro.I always wondered why anybody would want a negro. It rubs off on you. White girls have beautiful pussies and it smells lovely. But black women? Nasty."
"Growden..." I deadpan. "No. Call me Sertorman. My new last name. Mahlon Sertorman. Shikki, let me tell you about racism and slavery." he puts his hands on his hips. "Racism is being against the actions of others. Slavery is correcting actions. I hate black people and I, the White God, is here to correct you. Africans don't know to write. It sounds like this. Naa nraa reyi naraa. African isn't language."
"There are multiple langauges in Africa. What about Twi?" I grimace.
"Make believe. French is spoken by the Frenchers."
"Frenchers?" I'm disgusted. That's the most racist thing I have ever heard. "That's not what you call French people."
He gasps. "I call them Frenchers because it just sounds right. I have a Frencher wife and I got her a French type of poodle. Her name is Sacrebleu, she's a werewolf."
"Did you get a poodle or werewolf?"
"Same thing!"
What is wrong with him? "A werewolf is a half human being!"
"Exactly!" he shouts. It's the same thing!"
"Stop eating shit!" I cry. "Come with me to the kitchen." he says.
What the fuck is happening! Sertorman takes me to the kitchen with his man toy. We enter the kitchen which is across from the parlor and sitting in front of this large room adjutant from it. The kitchen is ruined, the stove is replaced by a firepit with a round plate hanging above it. "I built that. That's my shit plate." This kitchen reeks. "Sit down. Would you like some Aubergine and tofu sushi, made with negro limbs, white sugar, spanish rice, shitterling tofu, shit vinger, my own touch; and lastly cocaine with a dash of salt."'
"Wow..." I wanna throw up. "What do the slaves eat?"
"Slaves are vampires, and they used to get shit shew and Salmon and mushroom uramaki. Made with brown rice, oil, burnt sugar, and 30 hour long baked salmon."
"And shit? I mean mushrooms." I gag.
"Yes, mini shit drops are on the side as an appetizer." he says.
"Why do you love shit?"
"Because they can't bite me!" he hollers. He sits down at the long table. It's neat and brown in color. "Do you eat fruit Shikki?" He asks. I have to lie, "No."
"That's good. I ate an orange and vomitted all over the place."
I'm standing near the door because the floor has shit smeared everywhere. There is a bucket of bones fallen to the side. Shit near the walls, a smile is drawn on the walls and blotches of shit on the window. It's foul in here.
"You gave the slaves shit?" Why am I asking? "Yes. I had to."
"Because their vampires?" I grimace again. "Have you had vegetables?"
"I find bits of corn in my shit. I love corn. It's got a crunch to it. It pops in your mouth. It makes shit wonderful, like the stars." he sighs dreamily. "I love shit."
"How do I get off this plantation?"
"Dying or you can eat my shit. Don't knock it till you try it. I also love spicy food because I have to shit. And the shit is hot like spice so i made Spicy shit pie. Or shit flambe. I've also had cocaine ham, crack it lie it's black, Zackeira Fro. It's my favorite but she had dandruff. So what I do is cute off the afro and soak it in boiling water. I mix it with black pepper and throw away any weave. Next you want to comb it and give it some spice so add mustard." Stop. "Negros best come from Niger which is where Nigger came from. I've had Nigger pie, Nigger dung, I love the nigger nation. But they just don't act right."
One, Two, this is blinding, he said it four times. That's not where the word came from either. Nigers are Nigerien not niggers. I have to wash my tongue. "Have you tried shit stew? I had 25 negro males shit in a pot and I mixed corn, chocolate, onions, green beans, salt, sugar, milk curbs and three pounds shit. Niggers have large shit but they like soul food." he bunches up his nose, "I hate it. It give them energy. Blood give them energy. I hate them!" he pounds the table. "I want a dick like a black man's. I wanna hold my shit like a shot gun. I hate Congress. It was massive, and long ang black! He had a black dick! I have a white dick! It's little. With a mole on the knob, I have a white little penis."
He starts to cry. "Why is my penis little?"
"You eat shit?" I guess.
He racks his hands over his face. "It's so little. Like a button, and black women make me sick. It's so big! It's wide! And so wet! White pussy is better." he sniffs. "But Zofia, she's a nigger. She even had hair on it!" he pounds the table. "I hate everything!
Sickness. "Shikki..." he whines. "Do you love me?"
"No." I back up to the hallway. What the fuck?
Sertoman roars in the kitchen. He flips the table over and kicks it. "Why did she leave!" He walks around the kitchen and throws a pan. "I love shit! I hate black people!" he gives me an accusatory finger. "They put shit in my food! Now they suck my blood!" He breaks a wine bottle against the wall. "I have to eat shit! I love it. I love eating shit! But they won't eat it!"
"Cause it's nasty."
"Centipedes!!" he yells. "They gave centipedes!"
"So that's what happen to Anatole Roatta." The black centipede appears. "Dad, you are mad."
"Linnus!" he stumbles trying to see his son. "Dad you did this to me."
"I had to. You kissed a slave. You put your lips on a nigger."
"I loved Anatole!"
"She was black!"
"She was French!"
"Linnus you are one of them. The momemt you touched her, she was nigga."
"No she wasn't! Dad you eat from the latrine!"
"And I licked it clean!"
Why am I here. "Shikki jump over the pool. He bolted the door!" says Mpenda.
Sertoman beats his chests. "I am the White God. You and them believe in a devil!"
"Iblis..." his leg breaks in half. No, it folds, sending him to the floor. "I hate them. My son is a monster." He cries. "You did this to me!" shouts Linnus. "I eat shit!"
"Just stop!"
"I don't want a black son..." he cries harder. "Be white you bastard."
"Do you hear yourself?" Linnus brings into question. Mpenda looks at me. "Hurry girl, make it out!" I run to the large room. Another Centipede with one head stops me. "Move Resolved!" yells Edwin. "I will not! You will not leave here!"
I take a deep breath in and look forward, "Gesundheit!" the word flies toward Resolved. Smacking him in the face. I breathe in deep and put out my right hand. "AMBUSH!" swords surround Resolved and stab him in the back. "GUST!" I yell and a giant wind blows Resolved towards the pool. I head out.
What fuck is plantation Eden?