Day 44
I woke up. I hadn't heard Vijay. I don't like calling him Chale. My voice just don't work, and I hope he replies.
"Vi!" Ow... "Vi..."
I hit the wall with my leg. "I'm here..." I finally hear him. "You woke? I've been mediatating." he says. I haven't. I hear footsteps and voices, "In a couple of days. You will die, Alexis." says the guard through the bares. "How do you feel about that?"
Shit, spectacular.
"You will receive another dose today. We are trying lean and painkillers, liquified."
Liquified painkillers? When was that ever a thing? "No." As if I could be defiant. He finds a vein and I shake and I shake, and I shake. I'm shaking, shaking and shaking. My toes are numb, I'm choking, I'm choking, and I'm shaking. It's running out my mouth and I feel a wet spot.
"CEDRICA!" I hear Vijay. "GET OFF ME!" I hear noise, I feel something cool pass over me. I see him use the needle again. I think I bit my tongue.
The pool under me just seems to be bigger. Blood is thicker than water. The guard tickles my ears.
I just wanna stop shaking.
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Day 45
"Cedrica? If you can hear me. They cut off my hands..." I hear Vijay. I'm so tired and aching. I hit the wall with my foot. "Did you have a seizure?" he asks. I hit the wall twice. "Cedrica, Tori is punishing you with the things she went through. You never touched her. I hear the Ghetto, she's venting!"
My ass itches.
"Cedrica your execution is being held in the Ghetto. In Locucts."
Why the realm? "Listen," says Vijay. "Tori is taking you to her old house. Mable is her mother."
"What?"
"I know... rememeber how I said Lucious was a vampire? He is 56 years old. Chain is a 110, Congress, Ruckus, he is 141!"
Damn. "Cedria they are vampires! Growden put Lucious on drugs and his spirit got small. That Growden is Linus. Linus worked for Lucious's company and spiked his drinks; he wanted to rob him. But Shikki is psychic, she sensed her own death."
What am I supposed to say? Why am I going to her old house. "I don't--"
"I know, Yahoska is Mable. Monty shot her in a salon, she had her own business but sold within the business. She was carrying a baby that belonged to him, and he cheated on her. She was going around the hood saying his was getting an abortion. She never went to the appointment."
Well then. "Mable sent a letter to Monty trying to make him pay for something. He constantly abused Tori and faced execution for it. Why? Social Security, Monty is homeless and broke. Mable cut him out of money."
My armpits is wet.
"Cedrica, Mable is your grandma. She's Davea, herself, and more. She won't fucking die. She needs her line to get pregnant so she keeps coming back."
"Me?"
"If you get pregnant. You give her body. If she has a body, it will start again!"
I'm not pregnant, and it's not good sense to be pregnant if they keep overdosing me. Wait... Tori is... her daughter?
She's my aunt? Shiloh is my mama, and her mama is Mable. Then who is Dareion? Tori is the daughter of Montgomery who is Dareion. Dareion is not my father. Dareion... fucked his mother? Who is my grandma... she's an incest baby.
I'm about to pass out.
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Day 46
I can honestly admit. I'm thirty and would like some speed. They haven't come by today. Vijay is silent.
That's the worst thing.
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Day 47
"Vijay..." When will my voice be healed. I've been yodeling and that haven't done much good. Maybe I should move.
Luckily, my big toe hasn't disappointed me. I think I can curl my fingers instead of wiggling them. Let's try some excerise. How about lifting my leg? No pain, No gain.
Ok, take a breath. 1.. 2... 3... starting with the right leg that's closest to the wall. I press my foot against the wall and think about sliding it up.
It has a little pain. Get mad, lift the leg! Come on!
AH!
I have to put my leg down. I felt a pinch in my hip. I'm huffing. "Vijay!" Damn my throat. Why does it take him so long to answer? Oh wait, mediation.
Let's get mad again. I sit up with a push powerful to leave me straight on the bed. I take a deep breath, I still have pain in my stomach.
Today's mission, walk to the bars! Real bitch! Powerful bitch! Bad ass bitch! I hold the edge of the bed and try to push myself up.
When I do. I'm in pain and I wanna throw up.
First make it to the sink, where I broke my damn nose. It's just a line of blood on the base.
We need to move to the sink. That means, we use our legs to us one place to another. I take my first step. Oh my god. We have to get blood circulating.
Move the other foot.
You know what if I make it to the sink. I'm making a U-turn. And the other foot, a little faster, fight it.
My stomach feels like I have a rock in it. Stand up straight, move the other leg. Go to the wall. I'm dizzy.
Make it! My shoulder hurts. Lean on the sink!
Now...
Make a U-turn.
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Day 48
I did a lot yesterday. I was like, get to that sink and I did. I made it to that sink. They fed us. Today I got cornbread.
I ate cornbread and got water from the sink. I felt my nose, and it was full of dried blood also definitely broken. If I press the bridge.
Kill me.
Oh shit, it's bleeding again. I turn the water on and wash the blood from my nose with my hand.
My mind is elsewhere as I look at my blood in the sink.
I'm so wrong for what I do. I choked a girl at church. Adonijah helped me pray. It was such an ugly time in my life... ugh. I don't wanna think about it.
Really... it was the first time I saw a dick. Nothing after, thank god. I got her killed, he really just... the bodies came down from the tree. Maybe that's why I think about it.
I hate I remember.
They drowned Beulah. And I saw a dick again, again, nothing happened.
So much went down and I finally escaped. Is escaped the right word? It should be. Then I found Tori and she just ain't never been right.
I look at the jail bars. What if I squeezed through that?
Fuck it. My body is tender but make it over there, after a rest at the sink.
At the bars, I put my arm through it. I have some room, I almost thank being addicted to blood...
Hey...
I push off the bars and go back to the sink. My blood. Using my middle finger, I swipe the blood and put it on my tongue.
Damn I forgot how good it is. I end up trying to the lick the basin. DAMN! How long has it been since I had blood! My eyes are twitching. Damn, my shadow even got bigger. It's real big... and smiling.
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Day 49
"Hi." I woke up and speak to my shadow. It waves at me. "It would be cool if you up this cell." I say. She frowns.
I'm going crazy. My shadow is talking to me. "Cedrica?" Oh it's Vijay. "Cedrica, what happened to your shadow?"
"Huh? As I move my shadow moves. "Well," I click my tongue. "I have to die in a couple of days. I think."
"Listen!" That's all I can do really. "Cedrica, we can't stay here. She's taking you to Epping Spur." he says. "Tori's father is Jesus. Epping is the old house."
"Ok..." I roll my eyes. "Cedrica, she's taking you to be sacrificed. It's something it in basement. Henri did it!"
"Who?"
"Henri Wright isn't part of the Smiley branch. He makes demons, using heads. His son... is dead."
"What are you saying that he cut off his son's head?"
"Yes..."
"What the fuck..."
"Dareion is a vampire. He has a brother, nobody talks about him, but the common thought is he might be dead. They're still trying the spell. Which means it's to by time."
"Ok..." Time to ask some questions. "You hear the Ghetto?"
"Davea is long dead. This is what I mean by Davea is Mable. She must have switched bodies or learning how to."
"I have..." I have a great grandma? "Cedrica, your execution is beheading."
"But why do I have to go to her house?"
"Because that's where secrets are kept. Henri killed Andre, Andre is Dareion's little brother. The man had a near death experience." he explains. "I'm still baffled."
"What did you do wrong?"
It hits me. "She wants me to repent?" I haven't done anything. If I did do something, I did kill somebody.
"I killed a girl..."
"Who did you kill?"
"Emmanuella."
"Why?"
"I was just hungry and choked her and bit her."
"What else?"
"I don't remember..." I don't.