We ain't chitlins and ham. After, I got a chance to sit with my mother and sister in a prayer. While Ubayd stared at the door. "Allah, I am at your mercy."
We repeat. "For the food that you give. And the life you set within me." we repeat. "I ask for nothing but your patience, for my wrongs. I ask for patience in my rights." We repeat. "May you, oh lord, carry we far so I can touch the heavens." We repeat. "Amen…"
"I don't know about you but I always feel better after a prayer." says Simisola. "Like my soul is all blessed and light." she shuffles her shoulders. "It does feel good." I say.
"Do you pray often, habibti?" asks mama.
"Um, sometimes. Not often."
"Mama makes sure we pray at least every Monday, because it's the start of the week." says Simisola. "I don't pray like that." I'm so fucking adopted at this point.
"On Sundays we rest. That is the time we take a bathe twice." she raises two fingers. "You clean your head. Shine your teeth and take part in evening prayer."
"Ubayd," Simisola nudges me and gestures towards our brother. "He's special." she whispers.
"What's wrong with him?"
"He's special. Like real special." Mama slaps her arm. "tawaqaf ean wasfih bianah mumayaz eindama taqsid anah ghabiun."
"Ow, mama!" she rubs her arm. "I can hear you soft pussy." the fuck? "What did you say?"
"Ya huba allah!" mama covers her ears. "I hate how you speak to your sister!"
"Tell her to shut up!"
I'm black and middle eastern. This is how we act? "You got that shit from those boys you hung with!"
"Bitch! Don't worry about me!" he flips her off. I get up, "What are you doing standing like a watchdog?"
"Yeah butthead, the door moves sometimes." Simisola mocks. "I'm thinking!" Ubayd shouts. "You didn't even sit for prayer!" I criticize. "So? It's not that important!"
"That's why you act the way you do!" Simisola boost from the floor. "You are so…" she shakes her hands trying to find the words. "Crazy! Stupid!"
"I'm hurt."
"What are thinking about?" I question.
"How to get the fuck out of here! No one else wants to leave!"
"Because the dumb white bitch you fucked put us in here!" My sister stresses. "Don't talk about her like that." Ubayd marches to Simisola. "What the--get away from me!" she comes to my side. "I'm sick of you baring your fangs at me!"
"Stop talking about her. She's trying to help wolves!"
"What?" sounds mama.
"Help us? We have a whole big ass house that's to Aleigha and more. Now you pass off solidarity to fuck a white bitch with dozens of bodies in the closet like outfits!"
"Ubayd why are you so disrespectful?" I put my sister behind me. "I'm disrepectful?" his eyes expand. "Darlene isn't bad!"
"Well, she put your family in a room with little food!"
"She's giving us rations!"
"Ubayd, open your eyes!"
"I know how to use my fucking eyes. You don't know everything about your gorgeous husband. Dad is a serial killer!"
"Your father would never!" mama is so full of energy for this argument, she trys to stand. "Your father broke doors for us! When we had no money, no job, when people said I was a terrorist and took my hijab--"
"Take it off!" he screams. "You look goofy!"
"I'm goofy?"
"YES! Mama you have a fucking blanket over your goddamn head--"
"It's a sign of respect!" Simisola jumps to the side. "How can a man have such hatred against cloth that covers us!"
"Your a rapist…" Mama glares. "I raised a fucking rapist. You leave the sands for white bread. I'm so fucking proud of you…"
"She loves me." he cocks his neck to the side. "Remember, I'm your oldest child?"
"Did you eat them?" her voice is so strict though it's almost a whisper. "Your siblings are missing." her voice is louder. "Where is your kin!"
"I don't know…" he pronounces. He backs up, "Just follow the fucking rules, we'll be alright."
"Get more food. Get mama some help! Actually fucking do something!"
"HUSH!" he barks. "It's because of her and me, you have a dog!" he points at me. "That fucking mutt doesn't!"
"Nigga you called me a mutt?" I take a step.
"You are not us. You aren't--with it."
"Excuse me…?"
"Your blacker than me…"
"No I'm not, we the same shade…" I scoff. "What is wrong with you?"
"Now he doesn't know his own skin." Simisola slaps herself. "This isn't funny!"
"Ubayd, you were born in west Africa." says mama. "So?"
"So? What the fuck!" she stomps up and down. "We have got to get out of this room!"
"That's why I'm staring at the door!"
"You have to do more than that!" mama yells.
The door bangs. "Stop in there!" orders the guard. "Fuck you, sir…" I sound. Mama gawks at me. The door bangs again. "Tell Darlene to come talk to me!" Ubayd shouts at the door. I roll my eyes.
"Please, she knows me!"
"Be quiet!" the door bangs multiple times. "My mother is sick--"
"What the fuck does he say something now?" Simisola sits by the wall with her arms crossed. "Ugh," mama holds her head. "Mama, are you ok?" I bend down beside her. "You have to tell Darlene! I'm still in here! My mother is dying!"
"What the hell!" Simisola makes a face. "She's not dying!"
"My head…" she rubs her temples
"Shut the fuck up before I come in there!"
"AHHHH!" Ubayd starts screaming. His teeth stretch and he bites a chunk out of his arm. "What are you doing!"
"Said he was special!"
"Mama stop!" he tosses himself to the floor. Ubayd bites off his fingers. "MAMA!"
"What the fuck is happening in there!"
Ubayd pulls his leg to his mouth and bites his leg. "What are--"
"MAMA STOP BITING ME! HELP!" he claws his own face. HE starts wacking his arm against the floor and growling. "MAMA LET ME GO!"
"I'm not--"
"STOP IT! MAMA!"
The door unlocks. Ubayd holds his shoulder and coughs. "Mama…" he spits. "I forgive you."