I was directed to go to the 6th floor of the hospital building. Unlike the therapy hall, I just meet a wall and go to left. Room 77 is her room. Some patients are sitting for the doctor, some of a doctor. A stretcher passes me, I can't help but wonder about vampire surgery.
They just had their mouth open. I don't know it works, I could ask Cents. He doesn't believe in blood.
The concept of a vegan vampire or other is so foreign to me. I'm anemic, vamps are anemic; we need blood and to think somebody can survive off salads is crazy. Yes, iron is in blood but I have found the straight source is way better than lettuce and onions with tomatoes and fucking dressing.
The door is open when I turn down the hall, it's at the nearest corner. She's siting there with a folder. I walk in and sit on the bed.
"Alexis." she looks from her papers briefly. "I wasn't sure you would come. I'm proud of you."
"I'm fine. What fuck is a sun screening?"
"Its a medical test to see your tolerates to the sun. It's also used to fight heliophobia." she tilts her head. "You treat fear by flashing light at somebody?"
"It works." she gets up and gathers her papers in file cabinet. "Heliophobia can lead to suicide in vampires because of the fear."
"I've never heard of that." Who the fuck commits suicide because of a light? That's like fireflies being scared of lamps but they run into a bug zapper.
WHEN THEY MAKE THEIR ASSES BLINK.
"How have you been? You shouldn't be scared of the sun, the apartments have a curfew." she eyes me and returns to her small computer. "I'm fine."
"Alexis, I know you." she puts her hands in her lap. "You are my niece."
"What's my mama name?"
"Shiloh."
"What's my favorite color?"
"Pink."
"It's red."
"That's not right."
Why the fuck not?
"Today, I'll just be looking at you. Can I do that?"
I roll my eyes. "Sure."
"Alright…" goofy ass smiling, African, dismissive ass, bark of tree. I bet she has termites! She look dirty, old, dusty. I bet her hips crack with dick in her.
She gets her medical gear, looks in my ears. "Do you shower?"
Bitch! "Yeah."
"Your ears are clean." she motions my head back and looks at my nose. "They have a drug I never heard of. Do you snort?"
"No."
"Just in case, I sent nose spray to the pharmacy. It's in a box."
"How long do I use it?"
"When you snort."
"I'm broke." I mention. She puts the equipment to the side. "Do you need money?" she puts her hands in her doctor pockets. "Yeah… I don't have a job."
"Why don't you?"
"I can't find any openings."
"You try a vampire job site. In America, not in the realm."
"I don't even know how to get there!"
"Everybody your age does…" she shakes her head.
"I don't! If I knew I would high everyday."
"That's a confession." she gets a Popsicle stick from the table to the right of me. "Say awe."
"No!"
"I need to check your fangs."
"I have caps!"
"I still need to check…" she speaks softly. My teeth aren't even that big. I basically gnawed Jimmi. I don't talk about the grips Calvert bought me. Why the fuck do I date a nigga named Calvert Ryan Harris. What is wrong with me?
What makes Calvert so much better is I'm not told to get fake blood vessels or God didn't build life like this.
What did God create because this fucking shit exist. I bet it has something to do with that damn snake in the book. What the hell Cents told me? What verse was it? I'll never remember--I HATE HIM.
I finally fucking said it. I hate my boyfriend, I hate him so much.
He can't have sex because he doesn't want his blood pressure up. It's like why the fuck you worried about popping a vein when you asked for it!
One time he asked me to send him a naked picture. I did, I wrote back, you want something else. A week later he told me I should bras in my photos so he doesn't get nose bleeds.
I SENT THAT LYING NIGGA TO THE HOSPITAL.
He has so much baggage! I might as well date a dike! Maybe it was a sign the whole time. I should be gay.
He takes blood thinners, faints, has a limp dick, NOW! His job is everything to him and hopes we have a good enough relationship so I can adopt a child from Weeping Willows.
Vamps that go to church are different, he goes to church and they drink the water of Mary! To symbolize the birth of Jesus!
I AM SO DONE!
I open my mouth so my decrepit aunt can look at my fangs. She pushes my canine teeth up.
You know what else is a fucking question. I'm light skin, but she was aunt.
She pushes up the other canine. "any teeth problems?"
"My gums bleed sometimes." I say bluntly. "What do you do for it?" she asks.
My eyes go wide, "Nothing."
"You should take care of your teeth. A vampires teeth is everything but you don't have to bite." she taps my nose. Cents and her would have great sex; they would probably use their imagination. I can hear him now, because I've been told it. Oh Inga, I just came at the thought of slipping my dick into your wet coochie.
I HATE HIM!
IT'S FOUR AND A HALF INCHES!
"Ok, I'll have a look at your eyes. Any problems?" she shines light in my eye. "I sent some pills for your eyes to the pharmacy as well. You haven't been skipping any meds have you?"
"No."
"Your eyes are pink, how often does that happen?"
"Rarely." Can I kick her in the nuts? I bet she has nuts, sounding like Elmer Fud with a nicotine addiction.
"That's good. What about hearing?"
"Mentally or verbally?"
"I know you don't know mental communication."
"Why not. I'm a vampire."
"You are, but being a vampire isn't an excuse."
WHAT THE FUCK!
"Your my aunt, can you help me get a job?"
"Next year you go to a group home." she smiles. "I'm watching out for you." SON OF A BITCH! "Head down to the pharmacy, that's all for today."
.
.
.
The pharmacy is on the left side of the hospital. It's in a separate building across it. I just sigh walking in, there is a line with like sixteen people.
I'll wait.
I look at the products on the shelves.
"Jesse Hart for pick up!" yells a clerk coming out the back room. The line decreases slightly.
I pick up one of the medicines. I should call it poison.
Rousyn
Rousyn is a topical cream meant to relieve stiff muscles and joint pain.
My favorite part about browsing this shit is looking at all the side effects.
Rousyn
Side effects: Dry eye, Rash
If ingested, please call emergency personal.
Side effect if ingested: Thinning of the stomach line, acid reflux.
But it's an ointment.
Toxbaas
Now this comes in a big blue box. Nice packaging, snowflakes in corner of the box with blue waves in the background. Written in green Toxbaas. It is a pill for the red cough phenomena.
Side effects: nerve pain, blood spots in eyes, anxiety, heartburn
Heartburn just means tutorial heart attack. It also treats bad breath. Now did they feel the need to add mints to medicine?
Naope is a nail polish! It comes in red as well. There are two types of packaging on the shelves. Naope, the regular and Naope Red Gear.
Red Gear side effects: Skin peeling, rash, bleeding under the nail
Naope: nails that split or separate from the skin.
My word.
Natres
This is for young children. I wonder if Cents would get this. I answer my own question, of course his ass would. He has fake veins.
And doesn't blood in blood.
That makes sense.
God I hate him.
I look at the line and I'm thinking I should involve myself, so I do. Stepping in line isn't so bad, it's about ten people ahead of me.
This was a bad decision. I step out of line, bump somebody, "Excuse me… are you waiting?" she asks. With her son by her. "No, go ahead."
Damn. Why am I here?
"Alexis B, Kelly for pick up!" the clerk calls me.
Oh yeah…