"So." Recap, I woke up in a bathtub. I have little memory but I remember Goldilieve. I recall the motel with Thankful, I remember the House. Granddad was using Juls… He was at my window telling me a lie. My father is dead… Ashkii Hoffweiss is dead. Grandpa ate him.
Rank snaps his fingers. "Pay attention. Magna Carta."
I look up, "They wanted to lynch but with the grace of God. Yo mama is not dead, just a little confused. Remember they ran us out the castle in the Ghytto. Your dad was constantly cheating, bringing pother women around you, so Aleigha took them and made them work. Whilst raping and adding torment with his foul black ass."
I know Grandpa eats people. "Here's a dosey. Did you remember your granddad went to the penitentiary?" he smirks. "Nigga was in there still cuffing niggas." he snorts. "Yo, is yo granddaddy gay?" Dexter gasps. "I mean, this oldhead, told us he raped like nine niggas in jail. He a different vamp."
I… Granddad just has… hobbies. What the fuck did I just say? Rank continues to snicker and poor Glean, I mean Arthur is pressed against the wall with his arms folded. Rank stops laughing to himself, "I have a plan. This is a trap house." he mutters. Uncle Rank points at the TV. "Don't watch that."
"Why?" I shouldn't even ask. "They put a Devil in it. It's got the kids fucked up and black people." he says. "That Devil is Munch."
"What is it doing?"
"To put it basically, watching the damn TV makes you think of the last supper." his glance turns to Glean. "He's just 16."
I'm older. I think. "Don't watch the TV." he murmurs. "They play this show all the time. Everytime we watch it. We hear the distorted verse."
"What's it saying?"
"One of you will betray me."
"Well did you?"
"I ate somebody…"
"He's not a vampire, Magna." said Rank. "So, I said to myself I would get off my ass with a plan to get everybody out."
"Escape a trap house?"
"You got something better?" I don't but even I know a trap house ain't easy. You keep it in but escaping is another. Trap Houses are… conscious--THE FUCKING MANSION! Why does it now come to me? I don't even know who was in the house. Wait, Scottie, I'm not gay. He was gay…?
I'm so fucking confused.
"Growden wanted one thing. He started out as Mayor, the man is gluttonous. But, he has a fetish and that kicked his ass out being mayor. The nigga likes evil."
"We've looking into Growden. We got one computer that's in the closet." says Dexter. "The white man is a nigga. My stomach hurt." he starts holding his stomach and walking to the trashcan. "Supposedly, he's vitiligo was aggressive. But Noboedy is black." Rank leers. "I don't know if he was taught to hate himself or what. This all started because your grandfather is a cannibalistic rapper."
I'm standing here and I'm brushing it off. "So?"
"Nigga did you not here me?" Rank's mouth drops open. "Bruh, maybe yo granddaddy shouldn't eat people." says Arthur. "Don't you have a TV show?" I snap.
"So I got a question." Dexter speaks after feigning. "Where did y'all come from?"
"The dead…" Rank looks like he's been asked the dumbest question. "We ain't zombies. We fought to be back. Crazy ass Monty from playback broke into the house. Always sending letters to Shikki like he in love and shit."
"I'm still lost…"
Rank throws his head back, "LORD!"
"You can't people to feel bad for you. This shit doesn't make sense." says Arthur, Glean. I could laugh for miles. "Don't worry about all that right now. You ate somebody?" So the question is what the fuck does that do? Vamps are made through rituals. But another way, because mama did it first. You fight death.
"So, y'all died," says Dexter. "Nigga what did I just say?"
"I don't care! I don't wanna talk about eating people!" Arthur--I don't which name I like best. "I ate somebody, I don't know how to feel, act--" he grabs his shirt. "See what I mean," Dexter points. "Now he finna start clapping."
"I'm not crazy!" he shouts. The people staring at the tv don't look back. Are they worshipping it? "I had dreams, I bit my arm and started licking blood--"
"You are fine!" Rank gets up and smacks him. "Cannibalism doesn't do that. The old myth is if you eat the body you gain the soul."
"Who in the… fuck said that?"
Ranks glances at me. "I'm not stupid."
"Ashkii is. Just to find an excuse why Aleigha did it."
"Crazy." Dexter chimes. "That's not a nigga."
"Well he's a seven feet five vamp."
"That's not a person. I'm 6'3 and normal."
"Well he ain't!"
"Where did you people come from. It's crazy, like you woke up and started thinking, imma eat somebody mama or something--It's vamps at school with the same mentality!"
"What!"
"I--" Dexter looks at his toes. "Nothing."
"Nah, nigga. Finish it!"
"WE!" yells Glean, Arthur. "We snuck into Amalaric."
Rank is ready to faint, "Why?"
"We thought we could fuck a vampire bitch. But then somebody pulled me out of class to smoke and I ended up here."
"Sounds like they bagging. That's Ghetto." I say. "You got collected."
"Collected for what?"
"Service."
.
.
.
As time went on, they called us to the kitchen which consisted of a mahogany table decorated with a white floral cloth, two vases settled at the front of the table with white flowers that have four big leaves. There is a religious pamphlet.
I pick the pamphlet off the table. His, Hers, Mines Rites. I open it and my stomach churns.
Ecclesiastes 12:7
And the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.
The Ghetto Bible 7-22
The Heart and Soul goes back to The Church who gave it, and thus the material submits to the world as it was.
Is that about the realm? It has a sense of trade in it. The Heart and Soul goes back to the church; that sounds like the black market. The Coven which is also the church, collect. You need 9,999, it means you can work. If you can work, that builds you up. You might get to be king. The Ghytto is ratchet. I guess that's why some merge. They can't take it over there, so they bring what's in the realm to the East, America.
Mama from Norfolk. It's worse over here. A lot of people wanted to go to Wise but the Back Alleys are over there. I don't anyone can actually live. "The Realm is built on prayer…" Rank says as he walks by me. "It's not that hard. How much of your memory is gone?" He takes a seat and I sit by him. Glean sits next to me and Dexter across from him as the rest fill in the chairs.
"What are we doing?"
"Good news, you woke up so you might take it." Rank tells me. "We eatin' tonight."
"I'm a vampire." states Dexter. "I haven't been through my Christening."
"Good?" He should be grateful. "I swear these niggas invented a damn ritual. My shit don't feel right…" Rank taps table.
"Ok everyone!" a very peppy white woman with big blue eyes and short pigtails comes to the table. "Are you ready for supper!"
"Yes ma'am," we say in unison. What am I, 12?"
"On beat," she throws her hands in the air. "I got wings on my back
I got wings on my back
To see him
To see him
I got wings on my back
I got wings on my back
To see him
To see him
I'm black and blue but not too soon
And my soul will be fore-ever, fore-ever
Until daybreak, in the afternoon, and even on my honeymoon
I will last fore-ever, fore-ever
I feast at night, when the sun don't shine
I'm vampire for life"
Is that… the fucking prayer? "We do this everyday." says Dexter. He starts clapping his hands along with the rest of the table. Even Rank joins in. Everyone is singing. There are little kids at the table and I just know somebody kidnapped them.
As everyone sings, I'm lip-syncing. People, I'm assuming. Bring out plates of foods. It smells both divine and slightly rotten. The servers pass out the food and one comes to me to put the plate down. The stench is potent.
I see their hand put the plate down. It looks like they stuck their hand through a blender. They leave my side and I take the cover off.
I've been served cow tongue, chicken liver, a small saucer of blood with a side of the brisket with BBQ. Rank is already cutting his cow tongue, "You gon eat?"
"I guess…" I could go on a hunger strike. At least the food doesn't look strange. I take the saucer of blood and pour it over the tongue and brisket. I eat the chicken liver and pick up my fork to eat a piece of brisket.
Everything taste fine. "So, when's the bad luck coming?" I whisper to Rank.
"When the watchers start staring." He points with his fork at a black-eyed child about 14. He stares the kid down, "I don't give a fuck what you saw, you ain't killing or eating me!" he condemns with a mouth full of food. "I don't care!" He eats his brisket. "Fuck you and yo mama!"
"I… see… a liar…" the child sings, moving his head slowly. "I ain't that dark!" he retorts. "In fact, I define myself as light milk chocolate."
"What the fuck is light milk chocolate?" Dexter raises his head in question. "Me personally, I define myself as a young cinnamon twist." says Glean.
"What the fuck is that?" he makes a face. "I'm the color of cinnamon."
"No, Glean, you more like a dusty coal color."
Glean has his mouth open. "Fuck you…"
"After dinner."
Glean pulls back in his chair. "Miss Simpson! Can I be excused!"
"Not now Arthur!" she wags her finger coming to the table. "You finish your plate and get ready for the rest of the night."
"Last night, Tommy died. And ain't nobody said shit." Glean looks at her defiantly. "And this tall ass nigga is scary--he threatening me!"
"Nigga ain't nobody threatening you!"
He ignores him. "We been here so long, he thinking too much and having dreams about God knows what--"
"Glean, shut the fuck up!"
"I will not!" he turns to Ms. Simpson with big eyes. "I demand to go to the backroom. So that I may piss in peace."
Ms. Simpson pouts, "Fine."
"Thank you!" Glean boosts out of his chair and is stopped by one of the watchers down the table. "Drink pee…" they lick their fork sensually.
.
.
.
"Where am I?" Am I on the bridge? Where's my body! I'm just a soul now. The grass is a light green, I see mountains and there are petals floating with the wind. It's so cold up here.
"Mama?" I call out. I doubt she'll hear me. She could, maybe she's up here. I hover above the grass to a small lake, there's an eyeless duck in it. It takes me a while to figure out it's a rubber toy.
Well, there goes my childhood. And the rest of me is in a fucking bath full of lean. What a sick joke.
I leave the lake and go down a path with some confetti in the grass. There are trees that look like sycamore, the branches are out of shape with rope dangling from them. Has someone been through here?
"OOOOOOOOO." a soul bolts by. "I can go super fast!" they bolt across my eyes again. "OOOOOOOOOOOO."
"Hey!" I go to them but they're going back and forth rapidly. "Hey!"
"Huh!" they stop in front of me. "Hey! You're the guy from the house."
"What--SIMONA!"
"Yep, I died again. I wanted to do it myself this time."
"Simona, I'm so sorry!"
"It's alright. I'm immortal."
"What?"
"Your ever heard about the Halo Girls? They made vampires off the wings of Gabriel's back. For a ritual. Me, myself, and I--have died over and over again. I'm like 30, maybe 40 something or older! Am I annoying?"
"Nah…" a little bit. "Thanks for trying! Hey, is Jose McCluck gone?"
"McCluck?"
"I just think it's funny," she chortles. "One time he was fighting to get his soul out of a chicken!"
I will not laugh. "Why?"
"Somebody took his soul and put it in a chicken." Her soul tilts, "That was me…"
"Why?"
"I have a fuckboy for a father…" her soul burns the ground. "My daddy is sooooo fucking horrible. My mom? She put me in the trash just to spit my daddy."
"So Jose is your father?"
"Unfortunely, he's not a pedophile." she exhales. "That's just what my mom put on the divorce papers. Then he went to jail."
"He's not a pedophile? Who is your mother?"
"I'm half latina! So, my mama is Mexican and her name--her actual name is Tomas."
"What…" Tomas was back at the villa right? La Dama Falsa's real name is Tomas? I'm so fucking confused. "Mama has a dick." there is silence. "Yeah…"
"So Simona is a fake name?"
"Yeah…" her soul nods. "Wanna ask me how?"
"How what?"
"My mom has a dick."
"Oh…" well, she must be a hermaphrodite or a deformity. "Ok, try me."
"My mom… has a dick… but I'm here and my dad is Cottonmouth."
"Ok… but how did you get here?"
"Uh?"
"What--Girl what the fuck!"
"Oh right, I'm a c-section."
"What was that?"
"Probably all the drugs Dayshia gave me. I'm high, or retarded. What's your name?"
"Goddamn--Child, you need help. You need--"
"A body, so I can start over again."
"You said you were immortal."
"Right… Or am I?" her soul floats to the side. "I--uh…"
"THANKFUL!"
"HUH?"
"Are you immortal!"
"WAIT!" she shakes off her drowsy. "WAIT, LORD, WAIT! Disculpame, jesus!"
"What's wrong with you?"
"I"M FUCKING HIGH!" she glows but it dims quickly. "Drugs fuck with you spirit like no other! I'm always pulling out my hair, my throat is dry, I can't shit. And--And…" she gasps then turns to me. "DID YOU SHOOT DAYSHIA!"
"She's dead, I didn't shoot her tho…"
"THEN I CAN HAVE MY FUCKING FEET!" she screams with joy. "Where am I?"
"WHAT!"
"GODDAMN, HELP ME!"
"Dayshia took your body!"
"Yeah... I hate her." her soul burns the ground again. "Parece una drogadicta."
"What happened?"
"I swear to the great taco above that bitch was going to die. I'm a princess, Valentina and Dayshia are being faggots and they started a whole death pact or some shit. Dayshia is going off about her mom putting her up for adoption but then she ran from the adoption house and got kidnapped by my mom. Now!" she takes a breather. "Don't judge me. I helped my dad traffic kids."
"really?"
"I HAD A LUNG DISEASE!" she shouts. "Calm down…" I advise. "I'M HIGH!" she sucks in air and screams. "I have anxiety."
"You need soul food." I suggest.
"Something… I'm full of poison."
"Can you go into that whole Halo Girls things...?"
"Huh? Yeah…" she coughs. "Immortality doesn't exist."
"Wow…"
"So… vampires have been trying to find out how to stay young and keep the body from rotting. My dad did this."
"So Jose is actually smart?"
"Yeah…so anyway before I chonk out again…so one day my father is in Mexico. He's looking for a fucking gypsy. Because I have a lung disease. No king wants to lose their first daughter… especially Aleigha, like goddamn, Shikki is … spoiled."
"Anyways…"
"ANYWAYS! So, My daddy finds a white man but he don't look like a white man. He even sounds like a white man."
"You're a latina…"
"His name is Ashkii!"
"Huh…?"