"Oh, thank God..." he cries into palms. "Odio tanto a mi puta hija."
There's a stove in the kitchen. That's a nice stove. What happened to Ciccaco? "Gracias Jesús, finalmente se ha ido." he turns to me. "I hope she burns in hell."
"Well goddamn, what did she do?"
Jose furrows.
.
.
.
My wife kicked me out of my house. I had a body saved up and everything.
//I can't fucking find shit in the goddamn woods. I don't even remember why I put it in the fucking woods. Shows how fucking clever I am.
I keep fucking around in the middle of the fucking night, finna end with no fucking life. It's bodies in the goddamn woods just so I can trip my ass in the fucking unknown.
Where the fuck is my damn stash!//
La Dama hurls a massive fireball at me. I have rituals all over the house. "God, I fucking hate you!" she hurls another ball of fire at me. I lift my hand, "Block." the fireball bounces off the word barrier.
"¿Qué diablos hizo tu culo gordo con mis hijas?" I may look like much of a singer but I have a choir. One of my guilty pleasures, I like to fuck with bodies. So, I had an idea. What if I created my own angel? All I needed was a body, some magic, and an outline. "Chorus!"
The house shakes. La Dama starts looking around frantic. "Don't bring that stupid bitch." But she slides through the walls, her arms, and body protruding through the plaster. She may be ugly but I count that as my first wife. I named her and everything.
The House of Angels didn't like that of course but who the fuck cares what God wants?
Her body is white and wrapped in bandages. Her eyes are covered by a long wrap and she has chains around her ankles. I wasn't good at making her wings, it's just a plethora of raven fathers with glue. I should put something other than that.
Good news, she learned how to talk.
"ʍʁouმ." a row of rings come from her throat. They scatter about the house.
One hits La Dama and chorus's neck twists. She grows an erection and howls. Coming out of the wall she hops downstairs and grabs La Dama, Chorus smiles showing her razor fangs and thin lips. "Iɻ ɑ wɑu ƨԍqncԍƨ ɑ ʌᴉʁმᴉu ʍμo ᴉƨ uoϝ pԍϝʁoϝμԍq ɑuq ɼᴉԍƨ ʍᴉϝμ μԍʁˋ μԍ ƨμɑɼɼ მᴉʌԍ ϝμԍ pʁᴉqԍ-bʁᴉcԍ ɻoʁ μԍʁ." She rips La Dama's clothes off, her belly sinks to her pelvis. "Let me go!" she squalls.
Chorus fondles her breast before taking a long lick. Her eyes start to bleed, "Iɻ ɑ wɑu wԍԍϝƨ ɑ ʌᴉʁმᴉu ʍμo ᴉƨ uoϝ pԍϝʁoϝμԍqˋ ɑuq ƨԍᴉzԍƨ μԍʁ ɑuq ɼᴉԍƨ ʍᴉϝμ μԍʁˋ ɑuq ϝμԍλ ɑʁԍ ɻonuq."
La Dama shrieks. "You should be used to this. All you did was cheat on to begin with."
"Fuck you! Fuck you, you fucking Spaniard!" she frails her legs as the mass angel disregards. Chorus takes her claws and scratches the insides of her vagina. Her erections stiffen more. "Are you done playing with her?" I fold my arms.
She caws to the air and settles La Dama on her erection. She starts slow and switches to a rough stroke while holding her neck.
"You can kill her Chorus..."
She looks at me without stopping. "Dԍɑϝμ..." her smile reaches her the back of her ears. La Dama cries, wailing in utter pain. "b...b..." she sounds.
"You can't do anything!" I beam. "I'm a King! I do what the fuck I please!"
Chorus yanks La Dama off her and throws her to the ground. She cocks her head to the side...
In a curious voice, she scratches La Dama's waist. "Body?" she sniffs her. "Do you want that?" I ask her. She nods, her body glows as her hands sink into her torso. La Dama's body claps against the floor. She squirms and begs. "Get out of me! Get out of me!"
Chorus's head presses against her back, it disappears within her and soon her whole body makes its way inside.
La Dama moves erratically. She struggles to stand, her neck cracks as Chorus tries to take over. "OBAYIFO?" her eyes flutter as she bends backwards.
"Sanctified?" she launches forward. "Body..." Chorus pats her stomach. "My body..."
"What a pretty girl." I baby. I move to meet Chorus. "Pretty?" her neck bends. She walks with her feet pointed at each other. When makes it to me, she trips, I grab her hand to catch her. "Easy pretty death."
"Pretty!" she straightens her neck. Her eyes are crooked. The left looking to the far side. "I am PRETTY."
"I'll teach you how to speak later." I rub her cheek with my thumb."
"Bԍɼᴉԍɻ."
.
.
.
As Asphy'hod curled around the throne he looked to his congregation. Vampires seating with their bitches and hoes or the polite term, their thralls.
He turned human. Sitting on his throne he crossed his legs. "Bow your heads in prayer." he told and the congregation did as so. Asphy'hod closed his eyes, "What are you thankful for?"
"the many," responded the followers.
"Who gave you the many?"
"God did. A legless god, but an all seeing. Gave me what I have."
"What is the end of life?" he announced to the congregation. "There is no end, there is only longevity."
"You are all vampires!" he Dictated. "Your life is mine. What I gave you is a gift, is that understood?"
"Yes lord," Trumpeted the church. "Good... bring me my--"
The door swung open. Asphy'hod jolted and the eye floated behind him. His human appearance dismissed and his tail wrapped the audience. He rose his head, Jose sauntered down the walkway. "Asphy'hod!"
"I know damn well you didn't just walk yo' ass in here!" the snake retorted. "I did!" his arms flung to the side. "Because I got legs!"
Asphy'hod sneered, a strange expression for a reptile. "What business do you have Mexican!"
"And?" Jose shrugged. "I want a bet!"
"A bet?" His eyes narrowed. The church awed and stammered. Jose took a knee, "Let me back in the church..."
The church gasped, "That nigga crazy!"
"And one should know the differece between crazy and being crazy." spoke Asphy'hod. "What is the deal?"
"I can find a garden for you. Build your church higher."
The snake shook. "You want to marry me?"
That was odd, the best course of action was to say nothing. "The garden of eden came down with both Adam, Eve, and..." he locked eyes with the creature. "You."
"And?" he slithered to him. "The garden is no more and the couple is dead. You best watch what you say before you lie to me."
"It is not a lie! My daughter knows, she's psychic."
Asphy'hod's body quivered, "Excuse me." he slide back to his throne and shaped into a black man again. "What else is included in this bet?"
"Boy you stupid!" yelled a vamp in the crowd.
"Ain't nothing but weeds there!" mocked another.
"No!" Jose stood up. "the Garden of Eden
Is broken but what about the tree?"
His eyes expanded, "I'm about to get excited." his tongue swiped his lips. "Do you know what the tree can do?" he sat with his arms between his legs. "You could smoke it. Build a church under it or claim a piece of God himself. I might believe you but Eve is dead with reason as well as Adam. The first man and woman had to come from something and make another."
"They are damned."
"Indeed, and I know for I made them so. I want to seat like a real rich nigga." he chuckled, "I love how you people talk. This speaking," he stroked his throat. "It's alluring."
Jose stood; he eyed the congregation. "What do you want in exchange?"
"Angels?"
"Angels?" the word was a curse almost. "And do what with them?"
"Control, marry, I could be..." he swallowed, a real prophet to you. I swear I will never wrong you again. I could grant your wishes, Asphy'hod."
Asphy'hod quirked a brow, "Grant me wishes?"
"You do so much for us, lord. I wouldn't have what I have today. If not or the sacrifices you give me. I could be your Jesus, your Isaiah. For I know a ritual."
"A rite?"
"My daughter is a gift. In fact, I give her to you. No cost, she's a wonderful witch."
"I'm horny..." he smirked. "What can she do?" Hopefully, she would do something better than Childhood.
"Anything you want," he claimed. "She's a witch of knowledge... and she doesn't burn."
"I'm interested. Bring me the girl first..."
He turned to leave bearing a wide grin. He looked back, "Her name is Thankful, Agradecida Dante."
"ooo," he shuffled his shoulders. "we will see what we have to be thankful for."
The door cracked open, "Damn, the church always fucking fool." entered Chauncey.
"oh my god..." echoed a church member. "He's back."
"That's right heffers! I'm back, suck my dick!" Chauncey marched down the aisle, shoving Jose to the side. "I want my daddy's house."
"Why?" he exclaimed. "It's buried just like yo damn daddy for switching sides."
"Ok," he lamented. "But whatever he's doing I'll get you something better."
"Like what? Gumbo?" he jested. The congregation chortled. "Yes." said Chauncey. "My father was your right hand prophet. He did things for you just like Changany."
"He stole the fucking throne nigga; we all know it." blurted a church go'er. "I'll expand outside Virginia. My brother already got the hospital locked down."
"Really?" his fingers rested against his temple. "You get me more land and this one gets me, well, some land."
"With a tree!" Jose roared. "I bet I can get more." Chauncey sneered at Jose. He looked at, God. "9,999 souls for my daddy's house and as an offering!"
"What--"
"9,999 souls and bodies. All I ask is you give me your eye."
"That nigga stupid like soft shit!" hollered somebody. "I gave it a name and everything. The New World, a grand land full of vampires."
"There would be so much death..." Asphy'hod murmured. "But you would really be God! Yeah, this negro talking about trees and shit but I can grant more." Chauncey Lyons dug in his pockets.
He gripped a small pocket knife. Flicking the out, he looked at the ceiling and dug the blade in his left eye. No yelling, but plenty of pain.
It spilled onto the floor. "One more thing." Jose wanted him to shut the hell up. He gritted his teeth. "I got your son, Saint John." Now he had his attention. "My son?" He lifted out his chair. "Saint is dead, Aleigha took him."
"No he didn't!" he put a finger in the air. I will give him a new body and give you more... so much more. In fact, I'll make another deal! Me and Jose--"
"Wait!"
"Me and Jose, will team up and start some shit with the natural. On God, my apologizes, I got Saint John!"
"What are you doing!"
"He is not dead and just like him. Ima feed yo' ass."
"What happened to my prophet?"
"He was prepared! He got the body of a fucking plant but he good..." he shrugged. "His soul ain't gone. I mean, I basically told you about Childhood."
"And the bitch ran away."
"Curveball!" shouted somebody.
"I know and my fucking son with his giant ass don help and everything—but fuck em. See, I am a father but fuck my kids."
"Chauncey," Asphy'hod interrupted. "You asked me to bring back O'Liga... where did the change come from?"
"Huh?" he looked dazed by the question. "Uh... I mean. She cute..."
"What about your wife?"
"I have an addiction to pussy but then I also discovered that I have another addiction to liquor. And drinking made me realize, that I was headed towards death!" he shouted. "Let me finish—After realizing that I was dying. I had come to the conclusion that I did not want to die so I ate my wife who happened to be a mixed vampire." he exhaled. "And again, I realized, I like, to eat... people!"
"Ok..."
"So, I ate my wife and I'm on drugs. And..." he exhaled again. "I'm a nigga. I'm a fucked up nigga and I only care about myself. And that's the truth!" he put his fist on his hips proudly. God blinked, "You one goofy ass nigga..."
"Thank you and I bet you didn't know I killed my father." he took a bow. "For you, m'lord."
"What the fuck!" Jose raged. "Why the fuck am I in it? Nigga I don't know you!"
"We, your prophet, can get you what you want the most..."
"I am not a fuckin--"
"You can have the Ghytto or you can have the world." he turned his gaze on Jose. "And I have plans! If you are willing to listen." Chauncey told. "I can be a better liar then him."