Chauncey put his books in his locker. A class just ended, today, he didn't think to sneak off to a vampire class. Though he should have. He asked the boy next to his locker a question, "Do you know Shiloh?"
"Shiloh Murphy?" he gawked at Chauncey, "If I was you, I'd stay away. Vampires don't like you, remember?"
"I don't give a shit," he sneered and shut his locker. "I need to talk to her; I got a problem."
"Nigga, so do homeless people. Quit fucking with vampires." The boy parted from the locker and dismissed himself. Chauncey punched his locker, he yelled down the hall. "Somebody tell Shiloh I'm looking for her!" heads turned and none wanted to do as he asked.
He sat in science class listening to his teacher ramble with another student. They were arguing over weather or not a Venus fly trap could be considered a plant.
"The Venus Fly Trap is a sentient being. And scientist want to say that it's a plant!" argued the student in the front row. "Vampires believe in recycling the soul. So, they put a soul in a flower!"
"Goddamn it," the teacher cried, he sat on his desk with tears in his eyes. "Curtis, I'm having you moved out my class."
"Because you know I'm right!"
A girl next to Chauncey rolled her eyes, "You stupid. A venus fly trap is not the making of vampires."
"Shut up Chloe!" he twisted in his seat, aiming his index finger at her. "See, you don't want people to know the damn truth!"
To Chauncey, that sounded rather interesting. The school bell ringed after 30 minutes of class. He met Curtis at his locker. He grabbed him by his upper arm. He jerked in surprise, "Goddamn nigga, you can't just grab niggas like that. What you want?"
A dark skin male standing five feet five compared to Chauncey's height of six feet three. "Why do you think the venus fly trap is sentient," he asked eerily.
"Because nigga, the damn flower got a mouth and some teeth. You would know that, ain't you a worshipper?" Chauncey greatly admired vampires. But he wasn't so blind to think a fucking flower had human rights. "The teeth on a flower are like thrones to a rose."
"Wrong, they teeth because I got one with teeth." He went into his open locker and struggling pulling the giant monster in a pot meant for a plant. He set it on the floor. "This is a venus fly trap." He pointed at it.
Chauncey's stomach churned, "Nigga, that's a big ass head. Not a fucking plant."
The plant was indeed a head attached to a thin green stem. It drooped, sighing. It lifted it's massive head, "death…" it's voice brittle. It had a face, more like if someone put a stocking over their head. "What the fuck is that?"
"Well," he scratched the back of his head, he motion Chauncey closer, "I got a witch book." He whispered in his ear. "You like vampires?" uttered Chauncey.
"HELL YEAH I LIKE CHEESE BURGERS MAN." He screamed in the hallway. "With ketchup and mustard and all that good ass, tasty shit. I put onion on my burger with some fucking becon slices and shit. I be eatin'."
"Curtis!" yelled someone down the hall.
"Yeah?"
"Shut the fuck up!" they said.
He faced Chauncey who appeared bewildered. "Why did you do that?"
"So people won't pay attention to me." He smiled, "come on let's go to the courtyard."
.
.
.
.
Outside, Chauncey and Curtis sat at a table under a tree in the shade. "So, my name's Curtis. Born August 11th. Lived in Louisiana all my life—"
"Nigga what did you bring me out here for?"
"I wanna talk about my venus fly trap." He crossed arms along the top of the table. "It's not a Venus fly trap." He hoisted the pot up and placed on the table. "Now, I believe in cabbage patch kids. But this shit is beyond me."
Chauncey poked the 'plant'. "How did you get it?"
"I made a DOOR STOP."
"What's that?" asked Chauncey. "When a vampire does a ritual, they need a DOORSTOP for insurance in case the body gets a soul from the…" he perched his lips. "Below of the below. They call them Devil Things. I think I got one. But I can't use the knife I made to kill it."
"You have a devil thing?"
"Yeah, I named him, Dirakulhguise!" he waved his arms animatedly. The head lifted, "death…" it uttered. "Listen, stop talking about death."
"you…" it said. "No, I don't want death. I want to kill people—I want you to kill people. So, I don't get in trouble!"
The head fell to the side. "death…" it wheezed. Curtis looked at Chauncey, "How did you make that?"
"I gave a flower some blood and used a salt circle." Chauncey's eyes widen, "You too?"
"Yeah—what? You did it?" he questioned.
"My doll kills people," he lowered his gaze. "Gay shit."
"Fuck you nigga," he sneered. "So, what does Dirk do?"
"His name isn't dirt, just because he's a plant. He's a vampire God and imma ask you to respect my plant potted nigga." He turned Dirakulhguise around to him. He sat with his hands together, "It ate my mama and my grandma."
"Death…" Dirakulhguise wheezed. "Not now! Goddamn it," he sighed. "Listen, I'm an orphan. And I need to feed him. I'm a single fucking parent!"
"I'm sorry." Said Chauncey.
Curtis rubbed down his sides, he flicked a silver blade at Chauncey. "Bitch I got a knife!"
Chauncey stared at the knife widely, "Cool."
"Good, you a real nigga." He shoved the knife into his pocket whilst stabbing his thigh. He jabbed two fingers at Chauncey, "I do not want to die!" he blurted. "This thing keeps calling my name, my phone; it ate my mother, I don't know how to cook. I ate raw chicken—I probably got salmon!"
"Salmonella." Chauncey corrected. "Exactly, it's been six months. I swear to God this motherfucker, used some psychic African shit to make me cut off my own balls."
Curtis breathed heavily. "I'm sitting like a ken doll."
"I'm sorry." Said Chauncey. "Help me kill people!" he lurched over the table and grabbed his collar. "He wants blood of a million. Nigga I'm an orphan, I invited my neighbors over or a potluck and I ain't even got food at the house. He told me to suck my own blood. THE JEFFERSONS ARE DEAD."
"Damn." Said Chauncey. Curtis spoke rapidly, he could get a word in. "Help me rob a house on St Thomas's Place. It's a family of five, dog included."
"Do I get money out of this heist?"
"No—maybe, you like Wingstop?"
"I like gumbo." He said.
"I bet yo' ass does. Fucking racist." He hopped out of the seat. And hoisted Dirakulhguise into his frail arms. "He told me one night, he was gonna eat me and I was thinking to myself. Boy, I'm in love with my toes." Said Curtis. "Now let's go get Shiloh. She's probably in the library reading porn."