"What's a Praiser?" Seamus questions and I'm just as shaken up as he is. "Ok, so, we came out of Cabo San Lucas. Thankful is related—"
"To a fucking Praiser," she berates. "The motherfucker is a worshipper. And sadly, I'm related to a vampire, but not by choice."
"How so?" asks Seamus. "This is the first I've heard of it."
"Worshippers think Vampires are Godly beings."
Let me be the first to say, I am not God. I wouldn't want to be God; wouldn't put myself on the same level. Now that she mentions it. Aleigha said Vampires come from angels? What was his name? Chang—Chalk—something. He might be the archangel, Michael.
"Are they Gods?"
"No, Vampires come from the Obayifo." Says Thankful. "Or... you know maybe... Angels."
"What?" she cuts her eyes to me. "What do you mean? You're a baby vamp. Is this jogging your memory?"
Thankful is focused on my brain. It's off-putting. If she wants to say I'm stupid just tell me I'm stupid. "No, Aleigha said a vampire from India might be Michael?"
"Michael, saint Michael?"
"I mean that does fill in the question as to why religious symbols sometimes come up in the topic of bloodsucker." Says Seamus. "But again, why suck blood?"
Why would an angel suck the blood of a human? What does that have to do with immortality? And right then, I get it. To a certain degree, angels are immortal.
Some logic would say, you only have this because of God so, when you leave, you can die. It also begs the question, what angel got kicked out of heaven to become an Obayifo? What did Michael do?
"It's crazy. When Aleigha told me, I looked just as you are. Vampires come from angels."
"That's white people." She says so confidently. "Black people come from Obayifo in Africa."
Wow, my sudden attraction just flew away. She blinks, "Don't get me wrong. It's—maybe you did, they did. But we know—knew for years. Slavery took Africans from Africa, came to the colonial states. All those ships, some of them had a vampire on. Which is an interesting story."
This story is leading to some fuck shit. If a vampire were on a slave ship, that could have changed slavery. "Exactly," I forgot she read minds. "There are slaves still alive in America. We don't know all of them, but I know a bunch are in Virginia. That's Vampire Capital."
"Slavery started in Massachusetts." I clarify. "Virginia is the first state with vampires."
"We never found out why vampires are attracted to Virginia." She clutches her phone. "abuela," she speaks purely Spanish. "Dime a donde se supone que debo ir."
"You need to find a motel first. You must be tired, mi amor."
Thankful aims her attention at me, "wanna find a motel?"
I am exhausted. I need more than a motel. I need food, water, clothes, sanity, and fucking therapy. "She said it's 55 miles away. Let's find it."
"IM GIVING THE DIRECTIONS!" shouts Seamus.
We found the Crown temple motel. The car pulls into the driveway by itself. Wonder if she'll teach me Triks if I ask. "Considering you don't know shit, I'll teach you."
"Damn."
She pops open the driver's door and gets out. The building is low to the ground. Doesn't look like it holds too many people. The bushes in front are dead and there's a gnome with a missing eyeball. Thankful enters the lobby and I follow behind her. Instantly, I hear classical music start playing. To the far left is a fireplace next to cushioned bench seats. A purple rug leading straight down into a sitting area. The counter is to the left with a woman standing behind it.
Her hair is in a black bun and bangs slapping the sides of her face. "Welcome to the Crown. Can I help you?" she gestures to us. We move to the counter, "Do you have rooms?" asks Thankful. "We do. How many?" says the clerk. "Oh! By the way, I'm Faith. I run the motel with my grandpa."
That's nice to know. "We have a room available down the hall. Two people?"
"Just the two of us." Do phones not count as people?
She types on the computer. "Cash or credit?"
"Um, let just get my phone." Thankful puts her phone on the counter. "Now to find my card..."
She starts digging in the four pockets she has. "Goddamn it, I'll be right back." What is she planning? Thankful leaves and ventures to the truck. "So, what's the weather in California like?" I'm just fetching for conversation. "Um, it rained yesterday. Are you guys visiting or—"
"I'm not a local." I lean over the barrier. "We came... to see things. I have an uncle that lives here."
"That's cool."
"Deja de enganar a mi hija!" Thankful's phone screeches. It emits a blue light and shoots at Faith. Her body is engulfing by the color before turning back. "What's happening!" She frails about and starts to scream. Faith jumps up and down, gagging, "Get it off me!" She collapses to the floor, spazzing out. Her eyes flip upward, turning into two solid dark orbs. She raises on her heels and turns to me. My first instinct is to yell. My heart is beating in my chest, "That didn't happen to me. It kind of felt like I had gas and then I farted." Seamus speaks. "But instead of my ass, it was just a tight feeling in my chest, and it came out my ass. And by it, I mean my soul. I'm not entirely sure if I came out my ass or not but if I had to imagine the exit. I would come out that way..." he rambles on.
Goddamn, this phone has the will to speak without a fucking mouth. "I'm calling the pizza place." He speaks. "Thanks for calling Pizzasexual. How can I take your order?" ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?
"Yes, My name is Seamus. I would—wait, what do you guys have?"
"We have a special on today. Buy one large pizza and get one free pizza with your choice of toppings. Plus you get any sized drink and a chocolate cake with your order."
"Cake!?" my phone vibrates. Is that the equal to an orgasm? "Dude! What kind of pizza do you want—nevermind, we all eatin' pepperoni."
Faith's neck starts to crack, "The rooms are free." She says, pointing down the corridor. "Room 11."
Thankful returns with absolutely nothing, this was a fucking lie. It's happening again. "Your grandma turned Faith into a zombie."
"What? Aw-fuck, that's sad..." she pouts. "Grandma, sal de ahi. Gracias por la habitacion Pero dije que ya no ibas a hacer esto."
They offer Spanish classes at Seraphim Prime. I should have taken one. "No tienes dinero. Que harias si no estuviera muerto"
Thankful groans, "Gracias abuela."
"Eres bienvenido"
Ok, so... she said something, and grandma said you're welcome. I got that part; I also know that grandma might be a thug and I'm fucking with that. "My grandma used to be a gangster."
"Excuse me." The blue light shines again and goes through the phone. Faith goes limp and falls on the ground. Is she dead?
"Yes," says Thankful. "But it's like her soul was kidnapped and taken to the Ghytto."
"What?"
"Come on, let's go see the room." She paces down the corridor. "I need to get room service later."
"Tenemos que salir a cazar. It feels just like the old days."
"Cuando solias joder con La Dama Falsa?" says Thankful. Oh! So, they speakin' Spanish so a nigga stay lost!
The delivery man didn't stand a fucking chance. I'm starting to think this was a setup and Seamus and Grandma Curioso, were in cahoots the entire time.
The room is decent, a nice black 15-inch tv. Light brown floral carpet, a small table to the right of the window. A small refrigerator that came with fresh yogurt. Thankful and Grandma teamed up and stole a body, so the delivery guy, who I named Bobby—my eyes swell thinking where the fuck is Billy and Noel.
I'm so fucked up with everything going on. I'm not eating pizza; I'm tearing it piece by piece. Thankful's speaking Spanish again, I don't care, I just wanna be free. "A donde vamos despues." She says. "Necesitas encontrarme un cuerpo." I understood that something is 'necessary'. Curioso goes on, her Spanish lengthing, "Hay un cuerpo en la casa de regreso a casa. Pero eso no esa mio."
I know Casa means home. Are they taking me home? I hope so, I have food in the refrigerator that's going bad.
"Nunca de dijiste que le paso a tu cuerpo." Says Thankful.
Something about carpet. They don't have carpet. No carpet.
"We aren't talking about carpet!" Thankful hurls a pillow at me. "Si, Solia pasar mucho tiempo con la dama falsa."
There goes that name again, La Dama Falsa. "Antes de que nacieras viviamos en Nueva York. Y luego nos mudamos a Virginia. Ahi es donde conoci a La Dama falsa."
I heard Virginia and viva; viva means hurry, right?
"Vamos a ir a Virginia a continuacion?"
We are going to Virginia possibly to commit several crimes.
"Si, Es un santuario de vampiros. It is also where Childhood lived. But... she's dead now."
Now she speaks English. "Eres jodidamente molesto!" Curioso cries. "You are fucking annoying; did you understand that?"
Bitch! "Who is this boy?"
"He said he has a brother named Aleigha."
Again! They're speaking English!
"Aleigha?" Curioso is silent and then hums. "Aleigha Omehia?"
"That's my brother..." who I haven't seen and thank is gone. "He isn't dead, he's leaving the Ghytto. The boy is running in circles."
"What's he doing?" asks Thankful. "He said he wanted to carry out Childhood's will. No, me estoy quedando atras. La mujer estaba loca cuando estaba viva."
"Why?"
"La torturaron. They lynched her, raped her, took her kids away. Dragged her down the street tied to a car. Shaved her head, locked her in a room and sadly..." she sighs, "Le hicieron un aborto."
"aborto?" Thankful looks at me. "Did you catch that..." she looks so pained. "Aborto... like abortion?"
"You do realize, we're talking about your mom."