I was just waking up when the blast hit. The light was the first thing I noticed. It´s was as if the sun took refuge in the parking lot outside my apartment window. A warm light that washed over me like a blowtorch to my skin. That heat just kept pouring over me. Then I felt the blast. I couldn't hear it. It must have blown out my eardrums since everything went quiet. The windows blew out and showered me in glass and concrete as I was launched into a wall. I woke up sometime later to the site of my apartment ruined and torn apart. The kitchen was gone. There was only a hole left looking out unto the city now engulfed in flames. There were people running around, dragging bodies, trying to find loved ones, or just standing around. I had to drag myself to my door to try to get it open but, there was debris that jammed it shut and I had no strength to push as hard as I would have needed to. So, there I stayed. I sat myself up against a pile of rubble looking out across the landscape. A quiet madness lay sprawling before me. As I sit writing this, my skin has since stuck to my charred clothes. And whatever was exposed is now stuck to the ruble behind me. My fingers now glued to my pen as I write. I know I will die soon. I can almost feel myself falling apart. And yet I feel so serene. It's so quiet. So peaceful. I don't have to go to work anymore. Nothing to worry about anymore. There's a certain freedom in hopelessness. I can´t really get much worse, can it? Some people have come around to see if anyone was still here, but I can´t talk. My mouth feels as if it's fused shut. It won't open. And that's ok. I don't want to be found. This is what I want. This is peace. I can hear them trying to pound my door down. They've almost got it down. Go away damnit. What would happen if they did save me? No one is waiting for me. I´d most likely die on the way given that I´m stuck. God isn't gonna help them save me. I can see God from the hole in my apartment. He´s shaped like a mushroom. And there are lots of gods outside right now. The light is washing over me again. Hallelujah.