Left foot and then right foot. Our steps continued to take us through the night. The air was filled with a comfortable silence, the kind one would want to drown in.
Both of us individuals had a lot of things to say, actions to justify and feelings to convey yet our mouths were sealed with.... Perhaps fear.
We were afraid. Or for the least. I was. I was afraid. Afraid because I knew the next assortment of letters that would roll of my tongue had the potential to become My fate.
Clearing my throat, and my cloudy brain. I paused my legs.
" I love you, miss maple"
The words were out.
In my hazy memories, I remember, how I struggled to stay up right in physics class. The teacher went on and on about some statements I could vaugly hear.
" every action has a reaction"
This sentence surely had penetrated my lethargic self and somehow till this very moment was kept safely, tugged away in a corner of my brain.
Physics was incorrect. The thought echoed my brain.
The angel kept her speed steady, facing ahead, not giving me the reaction that I desperately needed. I forgot to breath as I anticipated the moment she would turn her back and meet my eyes.
60 seconds.
Still no response
My eyes were fixed on her little palm that swayed in the wind . I wanted to hold it. And that I did. I took her tiny hand in my large one, as if it was the most fragile object my skin had ever exerted pressure against.
It was, soft and plush. This time I was successful enough to have the angel face me.
The wind kept messing with her bangs but now she wasn't bothered. Even though her vasline coated lips were extremely tempting, my refuge rested high above, in her heart.
In an instant my eyes bore into her's, in search of something. Some sort of clue or a sign , but I was denied entry yet again. The space was loaded. To overloaded with secrets..... Mysteries.
Just when I was 2 percent away from facing the biggest rejection of my life. I pulled her into my chest. She fit into my arms so perfectly as if the space was made for her figure. I rested my chin on top of her head. I could feel her heavy breath. My muscles instantly relaxed and craved her body heat more than ever.
If only we could stay like this forever.
"120 seconds"
"let me hold you please"
She didn't pull away.
Again fear. I was too afraid to ask any questions and more afraid to hear her answers. Even though a peculiar WHY roamed my brain, I was too afraid to ask.
Once she pulled away I was too near to tears. I couldn't break down in front of the woman I loved. I just couldn't.
" I really like you tae, I just -". She breathed in breaking eye contact
I held her hand and she looked up at me again.
"I like you too much to stay away from you, I really won't be able to bear it if I can't see you and I uh - I uh a girlfriend won't help your career... U worked hard for this. U worked really hard tae, I cant take it away from you, I am sorry"
She was right. But this time I hated that.
I really hated that what she said was so true.
So I left. I left because she was right and dissapoitingly I wasn't able to do anything about it.