"Are you really leaving me?"
"Yes..." I answered, trying to keep the pain from my voice. He didn't deserve to know the actual truth.
"You don't really want to go, do you?" he asked, a hint of desperation in his voice. "You want to stay here, with me. Right?"
I didn't respond.
"Answer me!" he cried. "Am I right?"
Without even bothering to answer, I turned around to leave but my body froze up when the bastard grabbed me by the wrist.
"Hanju," he called my name, his voice soft again. Exactly the way it softened when he would whisper to me the three sweet words. Well, he won't be able to do so. Not anymore.
"Let go of me." I yanked my hand free and slapped him hard across the face.
Gosh.
How did I even get here? It all started two months ago.
[Two Months Ago]
"Hanju Zhao?" the Professor called. "Is there a Hanju Zhao among us today?"
"Um, that'd be me," I answered, hesitantly raising my hand for all to see.
Professor Lu shuffled some papers on his desk before looking back up and spotting my raised arm,
"Right. Do come down here."
Everyone started muttering, suddenly disrupting the peace of the lesson.
"What's he got to do with you now?" asked my friend, Anran. "Did you fail another test? Oh God! What if this is about the one last Friday?"
"Please," I said. "I aced that test."
"Hanju Zhao, come down to my desk this instant."
"Go on, get out. Or else he'll explode that big head of his," Anran laughed and gave me a little nudge.
Gathering my composure, I stood up from my seat and travelled the way down to Professor Lu's desk while painfully aware of all the watchful eyes burning a whole in my back.
"Yes, sir," I said, finally before him
Professor Lu held up a sheet of white paper and lowered his voice before speaking, "Your Chemistry test."
"The one last Friday?" I asked, a heavy weight in my gut.
"The very one," he answered. "You've failed miserably, Miss Zhao. And you were the only one to fail in this class. A mere 18/100."
"But-"
"I'm sure I made the test easy enough to achieve a passing grade," he continued sourly. "I expected some results from you. More so after you made such an inspirational declaration last time after you failed."
I cringed upon remembering. "Ah, that."
"Are your parents aware of your performance in class?"
"No..."
"Miss Zhao," he said, his voice suddenly softer. "I expect you to work towards the betterment of your test results. After all, exam season is approaching soon. I want to see a better score from you on this week's test. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," I said, my head low.
"Study well. You may go now."
Back in my seat, Anran looked worried as she poked my shoulder.
"What'd he say?" she asked.
"You were right," I said, my hands covering my face. "Why..."
Understanding dawned on her face. "Ah...so it was about the chem test. Surely, you didn't fail again, right? After all the effort you put in..."
When I didn't answer, Anran put a gentle arm around my shoulder, oblivious of the dozens of eyes watching us.
"It's okay even if you fail. I'll help you study for this week, alright? I've yet to study for it too, so we might as well do it together," she said with genuine sincerity.
"Alright, thanks," I sighed finally. "You're a lifesaver."
My name is Hanju Zhao and as a 19 year old, I'm currently in my second year at college a.k.a. vocational school at Xiānfēng College, Shanghai. During my years at primary school, I was a bright student, no joke. I'd always achieve an above average grade and everyone was happy with my performance.
But things started to go a little downhill once I started higher education. I lacked the motivation to study, and since I was living alone in another city without my parents, I had pretty much left their fear behind. So life in college became a huge, difficult task for me once I got to know how my grades would affect my further life. (Mostly because my parents weren't prepared to support me in my later years and left me at my own risk with the single excuse of me being a potentially responsible adult. Bullocks, I call it.)
"What're you doing after classes today?" Anran asked as we walked on campus for our next class. Both of us coincidentally ended up with the same class schedule save for one lesson in the morning.
"I dunno. Will probably go get some groceries and stuff and show up for my shift at the library."
"Oh yeah," she said thoughtfully. "I forgot that you actually have a job. Say, why did you decide to work as a Library assistant? Couldn't you have worked at a café or something?"
Yeah, a café job sounds nice. "I didn't get any takers, sadly. Only the old woman at the library was prepared to take me in. But for what?" I cried. "I literally get paid 2000 something yuan. How could I possibly survive off that?"
"There, there." Anran patted my shoulder. "It'll get better. But for now, we better head back to class. Professor Shin's gonna hand out our tests today."
"Agh, not this again..." I wailed, stopping in my tracks. "I hope I didn't fail the Maths test, too. I crammed the whole night for it."
"Yes, I am aware," Anran said patiently as she tugged me by the arm to get me walking again. "Now, c'mon already. The bell's about to ring. You can wail about failing AFTER you get the test."
And off we went, class after class. Either receiving back graded tests, getting news about yet another test or just spending the lesson, listening to lectures.
Finally, by 4pm our college hours ended and it was time to go home.
"I'll come by your apartment tomorrow, okay?" Anran said as she waved me goodbye before heading out in her own direction. "We've a Chem' test this Friday, after all."
"Yup!" I waved back. "I'll be waiting. See ya'!"
Finally, I could think about my grades and grovel over them in peace.
Now that I think about it, how much did I get on my Math test? I was too afraid to check so I had just rammed it into my bag and left all the rest up to God. But now that I had the time and my shift was to start in twenty minutes, maybe I could peek at the results before then and even have a little cry…
I shuffled around in my bag, looking for a wrinkled piece of paper marked with red. I just happened to grab it when a lot of things happened at once.
With full force, my body rammed into something solid and I fell down on the pavement, cars whirring past me. My test paper flew out of my hand. (I don't know where it landed because my vision had gone all blurry. I was even seeing stars.)
"Oof..." I grunted as I rubbed my forehead to ease the pain. What was a pole doing in the middle of a sidewalk. It was an odd place for one to suddenly appear.
Only when my vision cleared did I realize that what I had run into was not, infact, a pole. It was some dude. He must've been pretty buff to have been still standing after such a collision.
"Hey," I said, standing up. "What gives? Are you made of metal or what? Why'd you bump into me?"
This guy seemed as if he was around my age. We were still near the college so it was possible that he was a student as well, though seeing as he was coming from the opposite side, it was unlikely.
"Aren't you gonna apologize?"
The guy didn't answer because he seemed quite busy as he read something off of a wrinkled sheet of paper in his hands, an amused look on his face.
After a few seconds, he raised his head and met my eyes. I noticed that his were hazel. Just like mine,
"Only a 10 out of 100?" he finally spoke, ignoring my question. "How can someone fail this badly on a test this easy?"
"What?" I asked, puzzled as my eyes travelled down to the piece of paper in his hand. Oh God! That was my Math test! I snatched it from his hand and crumpled it into a ball in my palm. "None of your business."
"Right, of course," he laughed, his face lit with amusement. "So you go to Xiānfēng, huh?"
"None of your business," I repeated, trying to edge away from this strange guy. My shift was about to start.
The guy raked a hand through his brown hair. "Don't try to leave like that," he said. "You bumped into me first. It's me who deserves an apology."
I snapped my neck to look at him, appalled. "How dare you lie?"
"You were the one looking around in your bag and not paying attention where you were going," he said, his hands raised in alarm. "Don't blame it on me, Miss Hanju Zhao."
I was shocked. Angry, even. "How'd you know my name?" I said, ignoring his accusations.
He gestured toward the crumpled test in my hand. "It was written on that."
"Right, well," I said, "sorry for bumping into you. Hope we never meet again."
And I walked off, totally cool, totally nonchalant. Didn't even spare him a glance. Yeah, Hanju, you go girl!
What I didn't know was that this wouldn't be the only time I'll come across this guy.