"Alright, Cortana." I stated as I pulled Grunt's oversized bass guitar out of its near indestructible case in the trunk of the freshly upgraded Good Evening, "Get Blue-Two thawing out. I'll get her healed up."
"Understood, Jack." the AI stated and I began a funky riff.
Gaining the AI's trust had been a pain in the ass, but needs must when the fate of the galaxy is on the line. All the magic and biotic powers certainly helped on that front. We'd be getting the near dead Spartan combat operational before rousing the crew and exiting slipspace.
Though it was never touch and go bringing the clinically dead woman back to life, it was a tedious affair as I played the bass for hours, bathing her in the healing magic of Metal.
"Just chill out." I smirked as the big girl regained consciousness, "I haven't finished healing you, but we'll be done soon.
"Who are you?" the disoriented Spartan asked.
"Gatatog Jack Bearsbane Desilijic Tiure." I answered, "But calling me Jack will save us both time."
Fortunately, Linda wasn't the type to shoot the shit so we got her healed up and Cortana briefed her on the changes being made to Operation: Red Flag due to the Halo Ring on the other end of this slipspace jump. The Covenant would only need to capture a single human to activate the ring, so we'd be blowing it up. Hopefully after convincing Guilty Spark to start a crisis of faith in the Elites.
Still easier than wiping out a race of machine gods, so this would be a walk in the park.
"How exactly did you heal me?" Linda finally asked.
"Through the power of metal." I responded with the crazy truth.
God knows Grunt has dragged me around through enough crazy to pack an insane asylum.
"Riiiight." The pale redhead dragged the word to emphasize her disbelief.
"It makes a lot more sense when you have been to the places I've been and done what I've done." I told her, "Now let's get that gear patched up and sealed tight. Don't want the flood getting to you."
"The infectious microbial life forms capable of achieving a hivemind by converting enough biomatter and neurons into their disgusting form of life?" Linda requested clarification.
"Yeah." I nodded, "You catch on quick. You guys are going to be neck deep in truth pretty soon and it'll do you all some good not to be left slack jawed by it."
I'll admit the Mjolnir armor was way beyond my pay grade, but patching it, not so much. I hadn't spent so much time around Grunt during his various hardware phases to have come away without a thing or two to show for it.
"Alright, that will hold up unless you get blasted by some more overcharged plasma pistol rounds." I pursed my lips while finishing my inspection of the repairs, "I don't have my husband's gift for shield tech, so you are stuck with what you have."
"Your giant space lizard hellbeast husband is also a shield tech?" Linda shook her head.
"A fucking shielding savant." I bragged, "He even put some pretty ridiculous protection on the family car."
I indicated with a thumb to the chrome death machine hover car parked alongside a far less impressive Warthog.
The big man knew how to make a sick ride, that's for sure.
Cortana brought the full crew online and ready for the Covenant forces before exiting slipspace, giving her enough time to brief the skeptical crew of what was to come. The miraculously revived Linda went a long way to keeping the hostility towards me down. I got my first good look at the Master Chief.
Grunt talks this guy up as the ultimate protagonist, a one man army tearing through anyone and anything in his way to victory. It kinda makes me laugh considering the awe he has for the guy when he himself is a one man army tearing through anyone and anything in his way to victory.
Personally, I thought he'd be taller.
"Battle stations everyone," Captain Keyes ordered as we neared the exit of slip space, "We'll see for ourselves if the stowaway and AI are telling the truth."
"Just be ready to carry out the new set of objectives, Captain." Cortana urged.
It didn't take long for the Covies to start hammering us with their cannons and sending in Banshee fighters and boarding parties.
I couldn't wait.
I held my chrome plasma repeater over my shoulder and snapped out a Stasis wave on the first group of boarders I encountered with John and Linda. With a snap of my fingers the immobilized aliens caught fire in a rush of intense blue heat.
I could ignite any of my biotic powers with the flames of Ormagoden, but for some reason they always burned hotter when I snapped, Grunt sometimes muttered about my +1 to damage rolls for Roy Mustang Swag.
When the flames died down all that was left of the Elite and his Grunts were crispies they'd need to pull dental records to ID.
"What sorcery is this?" John demanded.
"Biotics, baby. Mixed with some demigod fire." I answered with a grin.
I'd always felt like a bit of a goddess with my biotic power, but being the direct issue of a Heavy Metal primordial creation deity was some next level shit. And I love it.
"Don't spend too much time worrying about it." I ordered, "We got unwelcome house guests to put the boot to."
Seeing John and Linda in action was a sight. Take away my biotics and Grunt's krogan durability and these two would have been a big threat to us prior to eating Grax. That is big money considering how impossibly fast and skilled we are. But what ifs don't matter, and after eating Grax we are the thorough top dogs in this verse.
I saw a black armored Elite go down to a head shot and sent a flaming Singularity at him to suck up the body and his team. Grunt vaguely remembered them being slightly important to the Covies but ultimately ineffectual.
Now they'd be effective charcoal.
I squeezed off a few rounds of my plasma weapon in honor of Grunt's efforts building them and was surprised by the satisfying sounds of a Star Wars heavy blaster. The golden balls of plasma also seemed to travel a little faster than the standard weapons used by the Covies and hit like a kicking mule, sending any unshielded targets flying.
I was a queen at the murder dinner table, absolutely bowing under the the weight of all my lethal options.
When it came time to evac the ship, Linda and I loaded up into The Good Evening and I activated its space flight capabilities and the Mouth of Metal and Hall of the Mountain King blasted through the sound system.
"Fuck yeah." I muttered as we accelerated into space and towards the Battle of Installation 04.