"Space Momma!" I shouted in realization while Eddie plowed through the wooden temple gate and started splattering the demon army of Emperor Doviculus on the grill of his hot rod.
"Oh my God you're right!" Jack yelled in agreement, "She sounds just like Shepard!"
"I knew something about her was tickling my memories." I said, "It just took awhile to put the pieces together since we haven't seen her in fifteen years."
"Small multiverse." Jack chuckled and we took off in the wake of Eddie's destruction, glowing bolts of flaming plasma firing from our side mounted auto cannons. Like the car mounted guns in the game, my plasma weapons had a bit of a mind of their own, accurately targeting enemies for termination in a small cone in front of my bike.
With our extra speed and maneuverability we had no problem passing up Eddie and Ophelia, giving them the front row experience to our path of annihilation against the Tainted Coil. I may or may not have been laughing maniacally as we passed by.
Our path hit a roadblock in the form of a raised metal gate and the presence of a giant demon tapeworm monster. It was as disgusting to look at as anything we'd ever seen.
"I got this." Jack grinned as she stood up on the back of the bike.
She attacked it with a biotic Charge as the arc of our jump into the feeding area descended and clung to the beast while chopping it over and over with the Ebony Blade. Damn thing fucking hurts, you feel every once of the life its magic rips away.
Damn thing was probably grateful when the last swing finally finished taking its head off.
"Hoho! Nice!" Shouted Eddie as he power slid his hotrod to a stop in front of the gate, "Now how do we get this gate open and get out of here?"
"I got it." Ophelia hopped out of the car and opened the gate a few minutes later.
Our route was smooth sailing until the Tainted Coil launched an artillery strike on the bridge columns underneath us, causing the ancient highway to begin to collapse especially quickly under the sections supporting their unweildy walker units. We navigated the rapidly diminishing path and hit a big jump off the final section of road as it overturned to fall into the sea, landing safely on the other end.
I could feel Eddie's disappointment when Ophelia said she "Can't wait to show it to Lars." in regards to his rather epic car.
At least the ride to Bladehenge was sick enough to throttle the poor guy's downer mood.
We pulled up to the giant sword sticking out of a cratered hill to see Lita, Lar's little sister manning the entrance and its rather flimsy defenses.
"Ophelia!" She cried as she stabbed the rim of Eddie's back tire with her bicharde, "What manner of demons have you allowed to follow you home this time?"
When Ophelia told us not to mind Lita as she was a little 'high strung' I couldn't help myself.
"My dear." I smirked, "You need to relax, as those who are high strung often cannot bear the strain."
"Get back Hellbeast!" Lita rudely poked me with her polearm.
I gripped the blade and slid it down my exposed abs loudly several times, the hissing complaint of a edge scraping against a surface to hard to slice sounding loudly.
"The only thing you will accomplish like that is dulling your blade." I chided.
"What manner of being are you?" Lita gasped in astonishment.
"Girl," I grinned widely, "You ain't never had a friend like me."
"So you are all travelers from other worlds." Lita led the conversation looking for an expansion on the since glossed over topic as we sat around a campfire and drank flagons of mead. The locals only had kegs of beer, but I granted Eddie his wish for mead by cracking out the Horn of Party Hardy. The people here were rightly impressed not just by the infinite and multifarious nature of the horn, but also its demon god origin.
"Go easy on Eddie." Jack joked, "It's his first time."
The man took the joke and the girls' giggles on the chin like a champ, earning a bit of my respect. Too many people get their haunches up when anyone questions their sexual prowess or preferences, and those are really the lowest form of shit a person can fling.
"Yeah, well. We all can't be packing an interdimensional transport device in our pants… Oh wait, I totally do!" he grinned and pointed down to his sick belt buckle, a miniature of Ormagoden's head, "I was brought here by this little guy."
"You were brought here by Ormagoden, the Eternal Firebeast?" Lita gasped.
"The Cremator of the Sky." Lars added, raising his gaze and his fist to the air.
"The Destroyer of the Ancient World." Ophelia said with reverence.
"Damn, dude." I grunted, "Making me feel bad for getting here with my dick."
"That is a pretty sick super power, dude." Eddie chuckled as the local trio conferred before doing a soft reveal of an prophesied warrior who would either destroy or deliver mankind.
Eddie pushed all that off onto Lars citing his role as roadie, not the leading man.
"I don't know if that is a good idea, buddy." I counseled my metalhead pal, "I've dealt with a couple Chosen Ones before. The prophecy got fulfilled even when I pushed the Chosen One out of the spotlight. It just turned out that I was the weapon that destroyed the Sith and brought balance to the Force."
"Dude." Eddie looked at me in awe, "You went to Star Wars?"
"Fuck yeah dude." I grinned, "Nearly conquered the whole galaxy before we transported to the next universe. Darth Jar Jar was totally true."
"I knew they shouldn't have trusted that floppy eared bastard" Eddie roared in excitement, "He was sketchy as fuck!"
"Darth Jar Jar?" Lita aked skeptically.
"An ancient lord of dark magic." I smiled thinking about that epic battle, "He used his magic to bulk up his body to be even larger than me and could hold himself together so tightly that no matter how much you slashed, stabbed, or bludgeoned him you couldn't defeat him. We ended up burning him to death. When in doubt, kill it with fire."
"Metal." she signed wistfully.
We spent the rest of the evening telling the tales of our adventures while Eddie tried to explain the future world he came from with Ophelia, Lars, and Lita speaking of their limited knowledge of the Brutal Lands. I had a good feeling about these people.
Jack and I were up after the rest of them went to sleep and we found some old instruments of various sizes and states of rot. We found an oversized bass guitar and a beat up six string that needed just a little elbow grease to get into fine working condition. We didn't know how to play them, but we knew for sure that those old guitars felt good in our hands.
We experimented through the wee hours of the morning, not like a pair of idiots, but using our vastly enhanced minds and senses to figure out how to manipulate the instruments into making their various noises. Once again I felt the guiding hands of the Titans as we worked. This was a world that wanted music blaring out, and would support those seeking to make it so.
Eddie came by after sun up while I was working a funky riff from my memories.
"Is that Chili Peppers?" he asked as he approached.
"I am almost there." I nodded, "Not quite yet channeling the great spirit of Flea, but baby steps. Just started learning last night."
"You picked that up in one night?" Eddie seemed affronted.
"If that has got you bothered check out Jack." I grinned and the wife started working a blistering guitar riff.
We could all feel the magic working in the music and Eddie pulled out his guitar Clementine and started working with us on the music. Once I got a sense of underpinning the songs, the healing magic of the bass started working on all those who could hear it.
We spent that first week in the Brutal Lands working on our music with Eddie and exploring the region around Bladehenge. While the wildlife certainly kept things fun, the freeing of our first Bound Serpent Statue was what really turned me on to scouring the land. In the games, freeing the Bound Serpent Statues turns Eddie into a demigod bit by bit for every ten statues he frees as his body is mixed with Ormagoden's flesh, blood, scream, and fire. We each felt a little something enter us through the action under the approval of the Titans in the form of a small fire tribute. With it, freeing the statues became my primary goal in the brutal lands, far more than helping Eddie and defeating Doviculus.
Every tenth statue the feeling changed, for the first ten we freed our flesh mingled with Ormagoden's and we became all the tougher for it. The next ten doubled our healing speed as Ormagonden's blood mixed with ours. In the final ten that we found that week, Ormagoden's scream strengthened our voices, Eddie gained a healing aura that restored those of a friendly disposition and Jack gained a sonic scream similar to Black Canary. Just what the doctor ordered more destructive powers for Jack. I pity the fool that gets hit with it after she figures out how to mix it with her biotic power.
I got the Battle Cry, a simultaneous buff/debuff with a small impact zone around me, just enough to knock a normal human sized target to the ground and stagger bigger foes. With all three of us gaining separate powers from the scream I was excited to see what we got from the fire coming up. I know game Eddie got a slight boost to flight speed in his demonic RTS form, but unless Jack and I sprout wings suddenly, (a real possibility with Brutal Lands demon heritage) we shouldn't get the same ability.
By the end of the week, Eddie had his Brutal Lands sea legs under him and it was time for a revolution. I was pumped to go on another kick as adventure with my friends when Lars dumped cold xenophobic ice all over my enthusiasm. I'd have been impressed with his brass sack if I wasn't furiously contemplating murdering him.
"The revolution must be fought by human hands." Lars said as we were packing the Druid Plow with post victory beer kegs, "We appreciate your support, Grunt, but cannot have you fighting beside us if this uprising is to mean anything."
This asshat was kicking me, rise up and slay the gods Grunt, from the heavy metal revolution.
It took me a minute to figure out what to say, I wanted to smash him for sure, but that would totally prevent him from getting his scrub ass killed by Doviculus. That was a far more demeaning death.
"If that is the hill you want to die on." I growled and put the kegs I was carrying down.
"Of course there is room in the revolution for you, Jack." Lars nodded as he threaded closer and closer to fist to cranium related death.
"I knew I could smell stupid wafting off you." Jack spat, "Come on, babe. Lets get the fuck out of here before our xeno taints the human revolution."
We packed up our shit and rode out into the Brutal Lands.