This is a deep pain.
Bethesda really did us gamers a disservice when they chose not to include the Dragonborn screaming in agony as a dragon's fire breath quickly reduces his hp bar.
Despite my various protections, my raised shield, and the absorbing ward constantly being channeled, Alduin's fire breath was horrifyingly painful. His fire had pressure like a fast moving river, completely capable of putting a man on his ass. Fortunately I was able to mostly shield Jack with my body as she pumped us both with channeled healing spells.
When his attack ended I stumbled forward from leaning so hard against the physical weight of his dense flames.
How the fuck was Brienne supposed to beat this guy?
We'd endured one attack after charging out of temple when Alduin switched from trying turn the stone walls into an oven to trying to turn us into two piles of ash. Fortunately, the attack left the big black dragon huffing for air and looking very drained. In fact, it looked like the big guy was all tuckered out as he came into land and started moving towards us on all fours at a twitchy pace. I guess Sanguine's ritual must have hurt like the Cruitiatus curse in Harry Potter.
This fight looks like it's in the bag.
Jacked strafe left and I circled right with the dragon following me.
"Wuld Nah Kest!" the dragon bellowed.
Alduin went from a speed a normal man would have trouble outrunning to battering into me like a full sprint racing horse. Now mind you, this is not his puny game model, but the estate sized beast that the Daedric Princes didn't want a piece of. Even being lighter than his size would make you suspect the bastard weighed over a metric ton.
"Fuuuuccckkk!" I shouted at I flew threw the air and was hit by an explosive fireball on landing.
With my shield down I was fifty percent more receptive to fire damage. Searing, burning, charring fire damage.
Jack hit him with a javelin from her Staff of Magnus empowered bow, leaching away some of the great beast's magicka, but he continued his charge to come take a bite out of me. For his efforts he got a jawfull of Volungdrun, the hammer's stamina leaching ability felt like getting a second win full of fresh air.
When I came around for the back swing I heard him say 'Feim' and my attack ghosted right through his face.
"Su Grah Dun" he shouted before smacking me with a brutally fast wing strike.
Alduin lunged forward in a power strike and brought his wing down on my back causing me to damn near vomit. He ate another arrow from Jack that stuck in his craggy scales and reared back onto his legs and shot a fireball that she dodged using a biotic charge.
Using the window she bought me I got up and smashed my hammer into one of the joints of his knee as hard as I could. The ripple through his leg and the pained shriek told me I'd done good, son.
Alduin leapt back and flapped his wings while launching a quick fireball that I tanked using my shield and lunged forward after he landed to take a snap at me. I gave him a counter shot to the nose and another arrow landed in his side near his wing joint.
As he hissed in pain I rained a pair of strikes down on his head but had to pull the next one back and raise my shield when he launched another fireball at me. He dug his claw into the ground and swiped it at me, fling up the dirt and concealing the tail strike follow up.
Too bad for him I'd already seen this combo.
His attack clipped my shield as I ducked under it, rolling over me and allowing another leg shot with the Hammer of Might.
"Tied!" Alduin shrieked and used a brief slowing of time to adjust his head just enough to avoid having his eye struck by another of Jack's javelins that cut a furrow across his brow.
It didn't stop my hammer from whacking him in the leg again, tripping the big bastard.
I leapt over to his head and delivered a big two handed downswing, followed by another and another and another before clapping his face with a thunderous golf swing.
"Wuld Nah Kest." Alduin screamed and dragged his downed form across the courtyard of the temple, plowing into me and stopping my teeing off on his face.
"Jiid So Daan!" Alduin roared at the sky creating a shower of meteors that never seemed to strike his body.
One of the fireballs hit me, but didn't hit any harder than his lesser quick shots, barely causing my shield to shake. Another hit Jack and sent her to the ground, and Alduin closed the distance on her in an instant with another whirlwind sprint. He tried to take a bite out of her, but in a flash of almighty blue biotic power she unleashed a Flare right into his jaws, flinging her back and sending the dragon crashing into the ground in a daze.
In a leaping strike, I landed on the bastard's neck and began smashing Volendrung into his brain case over and over with everything I had.
"You! Done! Fucked! Up! Now!" I shouted as I bashed him.
Crack!
The snap of Alduin's left horn resounded throughout the courtyard and the big dragon rallied his wits enough to shriek in agony.
"Feim Zii Gron!" he shouted and became ethereal, slipping out from under me and taking to the sky.
"You will pay Outworlders!" Alduin screamed as he flew away, "You will pay for every ounce of pain and humiliation you have inflicted on me this day!"
"Come on back after you get your diaper changed!" I shouted back at him as loud as I could, "I'll be waiting!"
I picked up the large broken horn and walked over to Jack as she pushed herself up off the ground and dusted herself off.
"I usually don't like thinking about eating Jabba." she said, "But I'd do it again after walking away from that explosion. Goddamn that was powerful."
"Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back there, babe." I chuckled and she joined me as we both laughed after surviving that fight.
"How'd it feel getting run over by the dragon express? Twice!" she teased as we walked back up to the temple.
"Holy shit am I glad that dragon bone is so impact absorbent." I rubbed my chest in mock pain, "If that hit me naked you might have become a widow."
"Not for long, babe." she hugged me with one arm.
Neither of us would be making that final journey alone.
"Thanks for getting rid of the dragon." A woman greeted us from the shadows, "It was getting uncomfortably hot in here and I definitely didn't like my chances outside."
The Daughter of Coldharbor, Serana, appeared in the firelight. The woman's face had been made by someone with the tools and drive to create the ultimate vampire waifu. She had similar delicate eastern European features similar to Jack with a slimmer jaw, paler skin, and slightly fuller red lips. Without the dying ember eyes she would look like Jack's less hardcore sister.
After encountering her in real life, I now know for sure why she wouldn't marry the Dragonborn in the game. This woman was next level with her sexuality and would burn the horns off the poor boy's iron hat.
She took on the demon lord of hedonism with me as back up, and while she couldn't operate her legs afterwards, she was still alive which was a serious step up from the bandit girl we tried next.
Sexual pleasure induced brain explosion is a hell of a way to go.
"Normally I'd ask you to return my Elder Scroll." Serana purred, "Now I'd like to see my father try to come for it. But first I think there's another fire that needs putting out.
She dropped her red robe to reveal her soaking wet hairless slit and turned away with a sway of her wide hips that 'hypnotized' me.
God I love puns. And pussy.