I woke up with sudden chills running down my back, my face wet with tears. A thousand memories flooded into me, and I couldn't help but stay awake, sobbing. The pain only eased when my family arrived in a panic, worried about my state of being. My father, kind but firm. My mother, affectionate and comforting. My two older brothers, Arthur and Ethan, whom I was so incredibly relieved to see alive.
Only after I had calmed down and some time to think did I realize what a miracle this was. My appearance had returned to what it was seven years prior. Like clockwork, time had been wound back to the moment I turned sixteen. Not a single detail was out of place - the color of my bedsheets, the length of my hair, the immature qualities of my brothers. I wept again after thinking about it - what a blessing it was, to have returned to the past. To have an opportunity to save my family from death.
---
I had married Roman Eirik de Aenon, the second prince of the Empire when I was twenty-one.
My house, the Dukedom of Aedile, had historically been neutral when it came to the struggle between imperial princes. Despite this unspoken rule, the first prince had saved the life of my second oldest brother, Ethan. In order to repay this debt, Ethan swore his loyalty to and worked as the first prince's close aide and friend. Upon realizing the impartial favor Aedile promised to the first prince, my father married me off to Roman in order to restore balance.
Roman was a quiet and relatively powerless prince. He was born from the Second Consort, whom had died when he was young. With neither political influence or imperial favor, he was neglected for most of his childhood. His disposition was relatively calm and detached - in my time knowing him before we were wed, his countenance was always expressionless. But I rather liked that about him. He was silent and reserved, which was much better compared to the arrogant and brash natures of other nobles my age.
He was regarded as nonthreatening until he turned sixteen. The emperor had sent him out to battle, likely anticipating his death, but Roman returned successful and adored. His swordsmanship skills were spectacular, and his quick decisions granted relief to victims of the war. His public approval skyrocketed.
Despite his continued success, he was regarded to be far behind his older brother, the first prince. Born from the powerful Empress Medea, Ieuan Winters de Aenon had been striking since childhood. With a calm, kind, and brilliant demeanor, Ieuan was universally accepted as Crown Prince. When I was twenty-two, Ieuan was officially named so. That, until Roman led a rebellion only a few months after.
He slaughtered everyone.
Including my family. With Ethan dutifully supporting the first prince, they were all killed in the process.
It didn't matter that Roman and I had been married. It didn't matter that by the time he killed off the Aediles, he had already secured the throne. It didn't matter that he didn't blink twice when stabbing me through the stomach.
It all happened regardless.
---
Ethan was going off to war.
"My first battle!" He proclaimed excitedly at the dinner table. My spoon paused halfway up to my mouth. After two years of reliving the past, the first event was finally about to happen.
My oldest brother, Arthur, rolled his eyes.
"You're too reckless," he said. "You're going to get yourself wounded, if you head into battle with that kind of attitude. It's a life or death situation. You have to be careful."
"I'm excited to chop some heads off!" Ethan exclaimed, eyes gleaming.
I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. This boy was crazy. And he was going to get himself killed, right up until the first prince saved him.
"Where are they sending you?" My mother grasped his hand gently, her eyes full of worry. "Not the front lines, right?"
"I will be traveling with the first prince's troops," Ethan beamed. "Along the borders. It's only a skirmish, to keep the rogues in check. Nothing dangerous, so don't worry about it."
My mother's eyes made my heart ache. "I always worry about you, dear."
"You better come back alive, Ethan." I said. He glanced over at me, smiling brightly. "Of course, Val. Are you going to miss me?" He grinned cockily, which made my face scrunch back in mock disgust. Honestly, I couldn't believe this boy was almost twenty.
"No." I continued eating. "Please stay away as long as you'd like."
I was lying. I had just finished embroidering a handkerchief for him to take along, wishing him good luck.
"Aw, you're too reserved, Val." Ethan grinned. "You can say that you'll miss me. I might even desert the army if my cute sister asks me to."
"You're going to fight your battles and come home safe," my father announced. "That's what you're going to do."
"Dad, you're going to miss me too?" Ethan smiled.
"Ethan!" Arthur snapped. "Don't be disrespectful."
"You're just jealous because Dad likes me best," Ethan quipped in response. I smiled halfheartedly. Ethan, the cheerful, go-lucky brat of the family. In every bad situation he always made us smile, and when it came to it he was one of the most dependable people I knew. How could Roman have murdered someone like him?
"You have to come back safe," I said, staring at him. My solemn gaze seemed to do the trick, as Ethan's smile slid off and he nodded, now serious. I'll make sure that you come back safe.