Story Of The People's Chapter 41 The Story Of Health Benefits Of Sex

The Health Benefits of Sex

Medically reviewed by Debra Rose Wilson, Ph.D., MSN, R.N., IBCLC, AHN-BC, CHT — Written by Pamela Rogers, MS, PhD — Updated on October 18, 2018

Health benefits

In men and women

Mental health

Masturbation

Celibacy

Takeaway

Sex is an important factor in your life

Sex and sexuality are a part of life. Aside from reproduction, sex can be about intimacy and pleasure. Sexual activity, penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI), or masturbation, can offer many surprising benefits to all facets of your life:

physical

intellectual

emotional

psychological

social

Sexual health is more than avoiding diseases and unplanned pregnancies. It's also about recognizing that sex can be an important part of your life, according to the American Sexual Health Association.

How can sex benefit your body?

This study suggests that sex can be good cardiovascular exerciseTrusted Source in younger men and women. Though sex isn't enough exercise on its own, it can be considered light exercise.

Some of the benefits you can get from sex include:

lowering blood pressure

burning calories

increasing heart health

strengthening muscles

reducing your risk of heart disease, stroke, and hypertension

increasing libido

People with active sex lives tend to exercise more frequently and have better dietary habits than those who are less sexually active. Physical fitness may also improve sexual performance overall.

Nine ways to improve your sexual performance »

Stronger immune system

In a study of immunity in people in romantic relationships, people who had frequent sex (one to two times a week) had more immunoglobulin A (IgA) in their saliva. People who had infrequent sex (less than once a week) had significantly less IgA.

IgA is the antibody that plays a role in preventing illnesses and is the first line of defense against human papillomavirus, or HPV.

But those who had sex more than three times a week had the same amount of IgA as those who had infrequent sex. The study suggests that anxiety and stress can possibly cancel out the positive effects of sex.

Better sleep

Your body releases oxytocin, also called the "love" or "intimacy" hormone, and endorphins during an orgasm. The combination of these hormones can act as sedation.

Better sleep can contribute to:

a stronger immune system

a longer lifespan

feeling more well-rested

having more energy during the day

Headache relief

Another study shows that sexual activity can provide full or partial relief from migraines and cluster headaches.

Of people who were sexually active during their attacks:

60 percent reported an improvement during a migraine

70 percent reported moderate to complete relief during a migraine

37 percent reported improvement of symptoms in cluster headaches

91 percent reported moderate to complete relief in cluster headaches

How sex benefits all genders

In men

A recent review found that men who had more frequent penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) had less riskTrusted Source of developing prostate cancer.

One study found that men who averaged having 4.6 to 7 ejaculations a week were 36 percent less likely to receive a prostate cancer diagnosis before the age of 70. This is in comparison to men who reported ejaculating 2.3 or fewer times a week on average.

For men, sex may even affect your mortality. One study that had a 10 year follow-up reported that men who had frequent orgasms (defined as two or more a week) had a 50 percent lower mortality risk than those who had sex less often.

Although results are conflicting, the quality and health of your sperm may increase with increased sexual activity, as some research suggests.

In women

Having an orgasm increases blood flow and releases natural pain-relieving chemicals.

Sexual activity in women can:

improve bladder control

reduce incontinence

relieve menstrual and premenstrual cramps

improve fertility

build stronger pelvic muscles

help produce more vaginal lubrication

potentially protect you against endometriosis, or the growing of tissue outside your uterus

The act of sex can help strengthen your pelvic floor. A strengthened pelvic floor can also offer benefits like less pain during sex and reduced chance of a vaginal prolapse. One studyTrusted Source shows that PVI can result in reflexive vaginal contractions caused by penile thrusting.

Women who continue to be sexually active after menopause are less likely to have significant vaginal atrophy, or the thinning of vaginal walls. Vaginal atrophy can cause pain during sex and urinary symptoms.

To help you be well, we'll send you honest talk about women's bodies, and beauty, nutrition, and fitness advice.

How can sex benefit your mental health?

Sexual activity, with a partner or through masturbation, can provide important psychological and emotional benefits. Like exercise, sex can help reduce stress and anxiety and increase happiness.

StudiesTrusted Source suggest that sexual activity (defined as PVI) may correlate with:

increased satisfaction with your mental health

increased levels of trust, intimacy, and love in your relationships

improved ability to perceive, identify, and express emotions

lessened use of your immature psychological defense mechanism, or the mental processes to reduce distress from emotional conflict

At an older age, sexual activity may affect your well-being and ability to think. Research found that sexually active adults between 50 to 90 years old had better memory. They were also less likely to feel depressed and lonely.

Confidence booster

Frequent sexual activity, whether with a partner or alone, can make you look younger. This is partially due to the release of estrogen during sex.

One study found a correlation between frequent sexual activity and looking significantly younger (between seven to 12 years younger). The majority of these individuals were also comfortable expressing their sexuality and sexual identity.

Social benefits

Sex can help you connect to your partner, thanks to oxytocin. Oxytocin can play a role in developing relationships. You may find that consistent, mutual sexual pleasure helps with bonding within a relationship.

Coupled partners often have increased relationship satisfaction when they fulfill one another's sexual desires. You may find positive growth in your relationship when you're able to express yourself and your sexual desires.

What are the benefits of masturbation?

Masturbation can offer many of the same benefits as sex, but also has its own advantages, including:

enhanced sex between partners

understanding your own body

increased ability for orgasms

boosted self-esteem and body image

increased sexual satisfaction

treatment for sexual dysfunction

Masturbation is considered entirely safe and with fewer health risks attached. When practiced alone, there is no risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STIs). According to Planned Parenthood, it increases mental well-being not mental illness or instability like some myths suggest.

Celibacy and abstinence

Sex isn't the only indicator of health or happiness. You can still lead an active and happy life without sex. The benefits of sex come from the feeling of pleasure, which studies show can also come from listening to music, interacting with pets, and having strong religious faith. According to the National Health Service in the United Kingdom, a long-term study of nuns reported that many of them lived well into their 90s and past 100 years old.

Takeaway

Sex is an important part of life and overall well-being. In relationships, orgasms play a significant part in bonding. Physical and emotional benefits like reduced risk of heart disease, improved self-esteem, and more can come from having sex.

You can still have similar benefits without sex. Engaging in other pleasurable activities like exercising, interacting with a pet, and having a strong network of friends could potentially offer the same benefits. Sex is just one way of improving your quality of life.

But if sex is part of your life, due to a relationship or desire, it's important to be able to communicate and experience sexual satisfaction. You may find relief and an increase in happiness when you take the time to have sex.

Is there such a thing as too much sex (including masturbation)?

Anonymous patient

Sexual desire and activity change through the life span. Masturbation begins in puberty, is common in both sexes, can be frequent, and continues throughout the life span. Sexual activity is at its highest at the beginning of a relationship. With aging sexual desire or activity may slow. Sex is good for your psychological health and immune function. Having frequent orgasms is healthy, having many sexual partners and unprotected sex is not.

But sexual addiction and chronic masturbation can become problem. If your abundant sexual activity is causing you distress do seek help. Speak with your doctor; there is treatment.

Debra Rose Wilson, PhD, MSN, RN, IBCLC, AHN-BC, CHTAnswers represent the opinions of our medical experts. All content is strictly informational and should not be considered medical advice.

How talking to your partner about sex can improve your sex life »

Last medically reviewed on July 29, 2016

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How to Come Out to Your Parents at Any Age

Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST — Written by Sian Ferguson on June 28, 2021

Short answer

Before

During

After

Reminders

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What's the short answer?

"Coming out" by telling people about your orientation can be a liberating and exciting experience. It can also be confusing, emotional, and in some cases, scary — especially when you're coming out to a parent.

Nobody should feel pressured to come out, but if you feel safe and ready, we've compiled a guide to coming out to a parent or guardian at any age, no matter your orientation.

Remember that there's no "right way" to come out. This guide is intended to help you prepare and process coming out; it isn't a prescription that you have to stick to! Come out in whatever way feels good and safe for you.

Before you have the conversation

Your comfort and safety matter most

You don't have to come out unless you want to.

A lot of how queerness is discussed centers on "coming out of the closet." But it's important to remember that you don't have to come out in order for your orientation to be valid.

Before coming out, you should consider whether you feel emotionally ready to do so. Also, importantly, you need to consider your safety.

Unfortunately, many of us don't grow up in accepting and tolerant homes. Safety can be a real issue if you live with a parent or guardian that isn't tolerant of your orientation.

You might also feel like it's not safe for you to come out if you live with, work with, or go to school with people who might bully or harm you because of your orientation.

Make sure you consider the following

Before you come out to someone, you may find it helpful to ask yourself the following:

Do you think this person will be accepting?

Can you trust them not to share this information without your permission?

Do you think they might hurt you if you come out to them?

If they aren't receptive, how will you handle it? For example, if it's someone you live with, could you move out if they harm you? If it's someone you go to school with, could you avoid them?

Do you have supportive people that you could turn to if coming out doesn't go well — for example, friends, a therapist, or a counselor of some kind?

These questions can help you determine whether you feel safe enough to come out.

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When you're ready to start sharing

Start with one person

It's often helpful to come out to one friend at first, and later tell a parent or guardian, family, and other friends. This way, that first person can support you while you come out to others.

It's best to choose someone who you're sure will be accepting and supportive. Ask them if they can be there when you tell others. They might be able to give you support — either in person or over text — while you come out to others.

Sometimes, you might feel like coming out to one person is enough.

FROM THE WRITER

"Personally, I came out to one person and then didn't tell anyone for years, because I didn't feel ready to tell anyone else. I'm glad that I waited, because I had support while I figured out my orientation for myself."

Consider which method you're most comfortable with

Depending on what you find comfortable, you could come out in person, via text, via phone call, on social media, or using whatever method works for you.

In some cases, you might want to have a formal conversation with someone, especially if they're very close to you.

Other times, it's easier to just drop it in conversation.

For example, you might say, "I'm hanging out with my girlfriend this weekend" or "I'm going to a queer meetup" or "I read this great article about bisexuality" and use it as a segue to coming out.

This can be a more casual, less overwhelming way to come out.

FROM THE WRITER

"As a younger Millennial, I watched most of my friends come out on social media — and it seemed to work well for many of them! I came out to my friends at camp, but only once the lights were off because I was too shy to look anyone in the eye. Others have full-on coming out parties. It's really up to you!"

Regardless of the method, consider the time and location

In some cases, it's better to come out in a private space (like your own home) because that's a good place to have a conversation. You also might not want others to overhear it, especially if you're a private or shy person.

In other cases, it could be better to have the conversation in a semi-public place like a restaurant.

In general, it's a good idea to have the conversation in a place that's quiet, so that you get the chance to talk about your feelings. If you come out via phone call, make sure that the other person is also in a quiet place and that they have time to listen to you and offer support.

Text can be a great way to come out, but it's best to avoid texting someone when they're at work or on vacation. In that case, they might not be able to send a positive message back to you right away.

Prepare for questions and potential disbelief

Sometimes, people respond to a person coming out with disbelief. This can hurt.

In our society, heterosexuality is the assumed norm. In other words, you're assumed to be straight unless you say otherwise.

When people come out, others are often surprised because they think they'll "know" when someone's not straight. This isn't always the case!

Being shocked isn't the same thing as being unsupportive, though, even if it can feel icky at the time.

People might ask questions, like:

"Are you sure?"

"How do you know?"

"When did you know?"

"Are you dating someone?"

"What does [insert your orientation here] mean?"

Often, these questions are well intended, but you aren't obligated to answer them unless you want to. If you don't feel comfortable getting into detail, you can just say that.

Sometimes it's helpful to direct them toward an article explaining what your orientation means. (Hint: We have a useful list of orientations and sexualities here!)

What to say

Actually getting the words out can be tough, which is why many people prefer texts or social media posts. Regardless of how you come out, there are a few ways to phrase it.

For example:

"I've figured out that I'm bisexual."

"Since you're important to me, I want to let you know that I'm gay."

"I've been thinking about it for a while, and I want to let you know that I'm pansexual, which means I can be attracted to people of any gender."

You could also mention it more casually. For example, you could mention your partner in passing or say that you're going to a Pride march.

Allow your parent or guardian space and time to process the information

Just because someone doesn't respond positively immediately doesn't mean they don't support you. Many people don't really know what to say. They might need time to process the information.

Again, it can be helpful to redirect them towards an article (like this one from PFLAG) about being supportive when your kid comes out. This could give them an idea of what to do and say, and how to process the information themselves.

How to move forward

Make sure they know whether they can share this info and suggest resources to learn more

If you don't want them to tell other people, be totally clear about that. You can say something like "Please keep this between us, as I'm not ready to tell everyone yet" or "I'm going to tell my grandparent(s) next week, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone until then."

You can send them resources about how to support LGBTQIA+ people. Before you come out, it might be helpful to find one or two resources that resonate with you and keep the links handy. These resources could be articles, videos, podcasts, or even social media pages they can follow.

Try not to take any negative reactions personally

Unfortunately, coming out doesn't always go super well. Sometimes, people react negatively — and you need to prepare yourself for that possibility.

If someone is bigoted toward you, that says more about them than it does about you. Your orientation is a part of who you are — it's not a personal failure or a source of disappointment.

Sometimes people react with disbelief or confusion at first, and later they become more accepting and supportive. Again, this isn't your fault.

Try to have someone you can vent to about the coming out process. This can help you process your feelings and find support if you need it.

If you feel like your safety is in question, you have options

If a parent or guardian threatened to harm you or evicted you from your home, there might be options for you.

Try to arrange to stay with a supportive friend or family member, or find an LGBTQIA+ shelter in your area. The National Coalition for the Homeless has some directories to shelters in the United States.

If you're in the United States, you can also contact The Trevor Project at 866-488-7386. This hotline offers support to people who are suicidal or in crisis. They're also available if you need to vent to a sympathetic ear.

Lambda Legal has also put together a list of resources for LGBTQ youth by state; you might find helpful resources there.

Lean on your chosen community and surround yourself with a support system

It can be so helpful to have a supportive community before, during, and after you come out to your loved ones.

No matter your situation, it's a good idea to connect with other LGBTQIA+ people. Even if the straight people in your life are totally supportive, having a community of LGBTQIA+ friends can be empowering.

Your school or university might offer counseling and support groups. Otherwise, you might find a support group or meet-up group through a local LGBTQIA+ organization.

If you're not ready to talk to people in person or if you can't find a local group, the internet can be an amazing space to talk with others.

Online forums can be a lifeline for LGBTQIA+ people. Just be discerning about who you talk to online.

Things to remember

It's ultimately on your terms

Who you tell or don't tell, which words you use, how you talk about your orientation — that's all up to you. It's your life, your orientation, your identity, and it should be on your terms.

If you don't want to come out at all, that's fine—- it doesn't mean that you're any less brave than those who are out.

It's an ongoing, never-ending process

Because society assumes everyone is heterosexual unless stated otherwise, you'll likely have to have to come out a lot over the course of your life.

Many people will assume you're straight, which means you may have to correct dozens of people throughout your lifetime. As such, "coming out" typically isn't a single event, but something you do over and over again.

This can be pretty exhausting. But remember, it's on your terms entirely. If you don't feel like correcting them, that's OK. If you don't feel safe enough to talk about your orientation, you don't have to.

It's your orientation, your identity, and your decision.

Sian Ferguson is a freelance writer and editor based in Grahamstown, South Africa. Her writing covers issues relating to social justice, cannabis, and health. You can reach out to her on Twitter.

Last medically reviewed on June 28, 2021

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Chapter 41 - The Story of Health Benefits of Sex

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