2. Snobs
Karma sat on his terrace and stared. What he was thinking about, no soul could tell. Daniki, who had started living with her fiancé, was troubled by his distance. It wasn't like Karma. He was warm, and hearty, and silly. Not blank. Never. Was he grieving for something or someone? Then who? Angels didn't die –in theory. They just sort of... disintegrated, after a thousand years of existence or so... As far as Daniki knew, this hadn't happened to any of Karma's loved ones, though she couldn't be sure. Whenever she asked, Karma wouldn't answer. Leaving her more confused than ever.
"I don't know what is up with him," she confided in her friend, Gaëlle. "It's like... it's like Karma's..." She didn't want to say it. His life essence is gone.
Luckily, Gaëlle understood anyway. "Maybe you two getting together has brought up some troubling memory from the past. Who's to tell?"
"But we love each other!"
"Well, you never know. Sometimes souls change when they realize they're never going to be single again. He might even have second thoughts."
"What!" Second thoughts? There was no space for them. They had a mating ceremony to plan! "I'd like to go home," Daniki admitted. The idea didn't really make any sense to her –either you liked someone, or you didn't. All plain, all simple, no trickery involved. She was preparing to confront Karma head-on, so that he would have no way of avoiding her questions. And if he was sad or hurt in any way, she needed to know. Except, he wasn't at home.
Karma had in fact gone to see Archangel Michael, as he'd promised he would. Well, more to himself than to the girl-dummy. Michael was the successor to Gabriel, who had been appointed as God's replacement while the latter slept. This was by no means an easy task, though he took his job seriously. Michael was now one of the oldest angels alive, but even he had not been around in the days when God was. Which meant that no one had. No one alive had ever seen or heard or even knew what the Lord looked like. As far as the story went, God had not had any shut-eye since the universe began, so he was obviously rather worn out. Hence he called over his most trusted servant, Gabriel, and explained his plans of resting. That it might take a long time, That Gabriel may never see him again. He also gave his kingdom (heaven, Earth and everything in between) into his care.
"This, I have trust in you." were God's last words "Do not disappoint me."
You can count on me," Gabriel replied, and there were tears in his eyes. "All I hope is that I can live up to your standard."
"I am not asking you to live up to my standard. I only ask that you do your best. If ever you become too overwhelmed, you can always appoint another archangel, or another, or another. As many as you like. Then, when you pass on hand this job down to your most loyal descendants. But above all look after my world."
God then turned to wave farewell to all his subjects, who in turn flapped their wings and arms and cried out sad goodbyes. The scene was tremendous. There he was, walking up to the temple where he would stay until this very day, being seen off by hundreds of thousands of angels. Once he was gone, that was that. Not one soul who'd stood in that audience lived to experience God coming out again. He's still there now (well, we hope so). So now, all we are left with is the faintest idea of God. Like a strange legend, or a memory from long, long ago. There's still hope –a tiny spark –that he may wake up in our lifetime, that we might get the honour of welcoming him back... I think that was the point when things started to go wrong. Not straight away, of course, and not the archangels' fault either –they are still as reliable as ever. But the normal angels' morality started to... well... deteriorate. Yes, even the holy ones are slowly becoming egotistical. Then the devil went missing... It's all linked, clearly. He left his post in the underworld soon after God left his, and went for walkabouts. Probably partying with the satanists. They think it's great –no Almighty watching over us now! And because he can shape-shift, no one knows where the devil really is, so he thinks he can get away with it. He better watch out then! Because when the Lord's slumber finishes, so will their parties.
Lol. Get ready for Judgment Day.
But enough of that. The fact remains –Michael was not thrilled about Karma's request that he be allowed to take a mortal girl into heaven and mate with her. "No, Karma, listen –listen, Karma!" Michael tried to shut the rambling angel up."It doesn't work that way. This is a person we're talking about –a person, with freewill. You can't just steal the only life that girl has away from her! It's there to be lived to the full. Also, who is to say she'll love you back anyway? She may want to be somewhere else in the afterlife."
Karma began to protest. Michael gently put a finger over his lips until he quietened again. "Hush. I am not saying you cannot be together if both of you truly want that –although that would, of course be after Randouka's natural death –and that's provided she does go to heaven. What I do ask, though, is, is that really what's right for you, or were you simply attracted by the beautiful body? You have not even met Randouka yet...Oh..." If Karma was not embarrassed already, then the next thing Michael said had him wishing he could dissolve into the clouds."Oh... I forgot. You're engaged to Daniki, are you not? I-I am so sorry I said that. I really shouldn't have."
Karma lifted his eyes from his feet, numbly. "Does that mean- I can't -?"
"I am afraid so, my friend."
It took a moment to sink in. Then he snapped. "But that's unfair! How can you? How can you? That's taking the only love I have away from me! I mean, couldn't we just go back –me and Dani? We're not married yet, so why not leave it there...?"
Michael shook his head. "You cannot do that Perhaps you have changed your mind, but Daniki has not. She still loves you, you know, and a promise is a promise, at the end of the day."
"The promise is only valid after the marriage, so there isn't one yet!"
"Karma, please calm down. This is not about what does and doesn't count as a promise, this is about what is right. And I am telling you, it is immoral to dump your fiancée, who is genuinely attached to you, in favour of some mortal girl you know nothing about. Based on her looks. It takes another to notice when one is being led astray."
Karma, however, was taking none of it. "I can't..." he sobbed "I can't... leave her... now."
Michael tried to comfort him, not really succeeding "Alright, alright, I know what we can do. Since this appears to upset you so much, I will let you watch over her. You can keep an eye and ear on Randouka and give her advice. Just no interfering with her life. Is that clear?"
Karma nodded, disbelieving.
"I'd like you to answer me properly."
"Yes... your holiness..." he squeaked.
"Now please stick to your word this time. Do you realize what a privilege this is? No other angel is allowed to change vocation once they have chosen their path. But for you, I am making an exception. I hope you appreciate it."
Karma went to nod again, but stopped himself and replaced it with "Yes, your holiness."
Michael dismissed him. "Oh, stop with the formalities. We are all equal really, as stewards to this world. Be off with you!"
With that, Karma fled. I must have had my head in the clouds when I imagined Randouka being invited to live with me. What an idiot! So, half glumly, half grateful, he skulked off into the horizon.
I lean on my windowsill and am bored. I have had nothing to do, since Earnest died. Well, in theory, I had nothing to do when he was alive, but at least I could pretend that I was doing something useful.
Ah... whatever. If I don't get up and do something, I will explode. That's how it feels, in any case. With a heave, I get off the windowsill. I do not know where I will go yet. Make it up as I go along. My walk takes me to the central part of Heavenly Valley, which is teeming with activity. Angels doing their work, Human souls chilling out and using the facilities. I can't help getting angry. What is this –a funfair? I stalk along the walkway, trying to work off some nervous energy. The ones who know me wave and say hello, but I walk straight past. Not that I dislike them, but I really need some me-time right now. Unfortunately, I didn't notice their put-out faces at the time. If I had, none of the following may have ever happened. Still... it's a bit late for what-ifs. Carrying on. Everything happened in one day, so it barely seems real. Involving myself... and Polly. Polly, and her ancient aunt Ethel. You see, I had become absolutely fed up with the way she carried on, always concerning herself with my business, with some sort of rude comment on the tip of her tongue. So when I happened to pass her aunt's house, I decided to... basically, climb in. Yes, I know this sounds crazy, but it was just one of those spur-of-the-moment type of things. Seriously, I just thought –why don't I pay them a lesson or two? And, yeah –I did check to make sure no one was in, then in I went myself. Thing is, it couldn't be any easier. Angel's houses don't have security because, let's face it, who would break into a building in heaven (that is why I still can't work out why I'd have the urge to do something so naughty)? Literally, all I had to do was kick my leg over the windowsill. And thus, the havoc began.
Later in the evening, Polly was escorting her slow and dumb aunt back to their home. Polly was in fact only living there for an extended period of time, to look after Aunt Ethel and keep her company.
"We're home, tiddly-pops!" Polly trilled as they neared the door.
"Are you sure this is ours?" Ethel bleated in her elderly voice "I think this is Harold's house."
"No, no, this is definitely ours. Come in, auntie," she held the door wide open. "See? This is –" Polly stopped mid-sentence. She could not take her eyes off the opposite wall.
"What's the matter, dearie?" asked Ethel.
Polly didn't turn around as she made a poor attempt at speaking "L-l-l-look."
"What? What? You know I can't see well."
"Ou-our house has been vandalized!"
"Vandals? Where? Where are the vandals?" Ethel's head jolted this way and that as she adopted a not-so combative position.
"No, not now. But they were here."
"Good heavens! Who could possibly be a vandal around here?"
"I-I don't know. I really don't know..."
"What, do you suppose heaven's finally been taken over by dark forces after all these years?"
"I don't think so..."
"You think it so? You think it so?? Aah! The apocalypse is come! Doom!" cried Ethel, now running about like a headless chicken and crashing into toppled furniture, creating even more of a mess than already was there. "The end is coming! Death to us all! Hide your children and bolt thy doors!"
"Auntie, stop! Stop!" Polly tried to calm her down by leaning over to where Ethel had scrambled under a table, putting a hand on her shoulder. "There is no death. There is no doom. It was simply a scandalous trickster who snuck into our house and messed it up. Though who it could be, beats me..." Again, she eyed that wall in thought, where two massive stick man caricatures of herself and her aunt filled the space. Ethel's said 'fat, greedy hippo.' Her own said 'snob'. The worst part wasn't the words that were used. It was the fact that someone had actually broken in and scribbled over the wall. Half-heartedly, Polly began to put the rooms back in order, and thinking, constantly thinking... Could the vandal have possibly left some clues as to who they might be? Mind you, that would be rather careless of them... Polly decided there was nothing for it but to report the case to the council of angels. They'd know what to do. For the time being, though, Auntie Ethel had to be put on her meds.
3. Babies Yet to Come
After what may or not have been an age, Randouka found herself in the Kingdom of the Future –aka of Babies Yet to Come. Now, bearing in mind that she'd been gifted with a fantastic figure, she wasn't exactly thrilled about having it reduced to the size of a chunky, stumbling tot. Still, Randouka had not even the time to bat an eyelid before she found that her brain was no longer able to perform anything other than the most basic functions. Thus, without realizing it, she became a child. Ready to take on a new identity, ready to take on life. She wasn't the only one there, either. Thousands of children were inhabiting the Kingdom of the Future –all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Randouka felt she was the only one who wasn't occupied with some hobby or other. No matter where she looked, all she could see were talented age-mates busy building, painting, doing sport, playing music, and more. They all seemed to know what their passion was, apart from her. She must have looked really puzzled, because soon another toddler bounded up to her, wearing a huge smile.
"Hayo!" she beamed. "I'm going to be a dancer when I grow up. What are you going to be?"
"I don't know," Randouka mumbled back.
"Huh? How don't you know? Everyone should know what their favewhit thing is."
"I don't know," she repeated.
"That's strange. Oh well, I can't wait to meet my mummy!" With that, the girl twirled and leaped away.
Mummies? Randouka hadn't thought about mummies yet. Did that mean she had to adapt into a new family? Dear, oh dear! But at the same time, what would it be like in the world out there? This she longed to find out, as she watched the storks coming to collect the babies that were ready. Feeling a bit lost, she instinctively headed towards the fatherly figure sitting in the corner, entertaining a bunch of kids (this, she'd soon come to learn, was Grampappy -as officially agreed on by the unborn children). It wasn't an unsuitable title, either. There were toddlers all over the place: some strung up on his shoulders, some clinging to his legs, some bouncing up and down on his lap. One had even clambered into his hair, though they were having trouble staying upright. Despite all of this, Grampappy didn't appear to be troubled by this company at all. In fact, he seemed to be really enjoying himself. He was telling his pre-young audience a story about a rabbit and hedgehog, which fascinated them, since rabbits and hedgehogs were only two of myriads of things they'd discover once they were born. Oh, it looks like Grampappy is busy. Maybe I should ask that boy about this place instead...
Randouka shuffled up behind a boy who was straddling one of Grampappy's feet, and tapped him on the shoulder. His head turned. "Hello," she began shyly "I just wondering... what is this place? Because I a bit confused."
The boy frowned. "Why? It's obvious we're in the Baby Yet to Come Kingdom."
"Riiight. So what we supposed to do here. And why?"
The boy clearly found these questions too deep for his little mind to cope with, so he shrugged and turned away. Except Randouka wasn't being deterred that easily.
"How do we know it's our turn to be carried away?"
"Wot? Oh, um, you shrink."
"You shrink?"
"Yup. You shrink and shrink til you become a teeny tiny baby, and that's how they know you're ready."
"Oh." Well, she supposed it made sense now. After all, the babies that the storks took were very tiny, and weak, and shouty. Did she really have to become like them in order to be born? ...Maybe that was just one of the sacrifices you had to make. "What do you do while you wait?" she went back to pestering.
The boy shrugged. "Dunno. Choose something. Everybody chooses something."
So it was back to this, was it? All this talk about having a purpose. So what if she didn't have one? Supposing she didn't want one? Who cared? Randouka flounced away. She was getting fed up of all these geeks. All they seemed to be worried about were their stupid hobbies! Oh, how she wanted to trip up those dancers' feet, knock those building blocks to the ground! That would make them squeal. That would make them cry! Why, that wasn't such a bad idea... She took a quick glance around the room. It was one of many, but they were all so busy, so filled. So many children, children, children, with the odd angelic figure supervising here and there. As for the structure itself, it seemed like no one had bothered with walls, instead leaving huge empty arches out of which the whole sky unfurled before you. Even so, no one was concerned about falling out in the slightest –perhaps there was an enchantment on them? Not that she was worried, either way. The ceiling, and the thin columns that held it up, were made entirely of glass. Not a cold, hard kind, but one that shimmered in vivid colours when the sun shone, and if you bumped into one, it wouldn't hurt at all, but rather, give a pleasant tingling sensation all over.
Randouka found the place quite nice, once she got over the fact it was overrun by dorks. She liked the way there were multiple rooms and levels, connected by glowing glass walkways, bridges and staircases. These were smooth, carved with intricate patterns, a lot like snowflakes. All in all, this was some complex. It was only at this point she realized there was nothing stopping her from exploring further. She headed to the nearest bridge, passing the area where she had appeared from along the way. But it surprized her so much, she had to stop and give it a proper look. It was like a large, round bath, from which clouds of steam flowed out in an ongoing stream. She tried pinching it, and wondered why it dissolved into her fingers. How had she not noticed before? It was crazy. The basin was so big, so in-your-face. She had come out of it in order to get here –yet had not even realized until now! All my attention was taken up by those dorks, Randouka decided, before moving on. She passed a gaggle of girls coming from the opposite direction, all laughing merrily.
"What so funny?" she asked, genuinely interested.
"It was so funny."
"Absolutely hilarious."
"What?" Randouka persisted.
"She fell over. On her face. SPLAT!"
"Oof, it's too much!"
"Who? What? Where?" she was beginning to get a little annoyed at the girls not making any sense.
"What? Where? When?" one of them clucked mockingly much to the others' amusement. "We just came from the play area. Haven't you been to the play area before?" An innocent question. But for some reason it made Randouka indignant.
"No, I only just got here. So what?"
"Oh, okay," the girls nodded to each other "You should check it out. It's great."
"Yes, you'll love it." The girls then decided this would be the end of the conversation, whether Randouka liked it or not. Fortunately, she didn't mind this time.
Well, she better investigate, hadn't she? Soon she had the bridge crossed and stairs climbed, following the commotion of excited children. As her head popped over the next floor up, she saw for herself what those girls meant. Adventure activities sprawled out high and low, different levels built into the wall. They had slides, rope swings, monkey bars and some kind of soft, fluffy pit, with steam similar to the type that was in the basin, and bubbles instead of balls. A couple of toddlers who had grown too young to even speak sat inside, waved their arms ecstatically and never got wet. Meanwhile, the slightly older children leaped around with the same agility and wild spirit as orangutans. Not even Randouka could resist such a paradise for adventure. Her face practically lit up and before she, or anyone else for that matter, knew it, she was right in the midst of the action, swinging around just as freely as any other child. She enjoyed herself immensely, quite happy to keep alone. When some of the other youngsters invited her to a game of 'it,' she refused, saying she had no desire to muck about with 'goody-goody dumbos.' This offended the ones who thought they were being kind to Randouka, thinking she'd be delighted to play with them, and made a mental note to avoid her in future. Though Randouka herself never noticed a thing. She continued to do everything in her own way, oblivious to what was being said behind her back. What did it matter, if some dumbos considered her stuck up, or boring, or mean? Who cared about the opinion of those lot? In this place, it was keep yourself to yourself –according to her, in any case.
Time passed, but no one knew how much, for there was no way to measure it in the Kingdom of Babies Yet to Come. Day did not turn to night, Summer did not turn to Winter. There were no clocks or calendars or any devices that could give the children some sort of clue as to what era the world out there was in Save for Grandpappy's sandtimer and other contraptions that only he understood. Because the truth was, who else needed to know but him? The Babies would spend their entire lives learning names and numbers –at least in their pre-life they could enjoy the freedom of not knowing a thing.
Not of heat, not of cold. No pain, taste, smell or tiredness befell the Kingdom of the Future. A child could fall from the top level of the play area and land on their head, but they would simply spring back onto their feet and carry on with whatever game they were playing. What difference would a fall make to their airy, spirit-bodies? Where there were no bones to break nor muscles to tear. Their bodies would only gain substance once they were born, but for now, they could be as light as feathers, dancing on a breeze. Besides this, the Babies did not know of food, drink or sleep –all these would only become necessities later. The children had limitless energy and were up. Always up. The only time you would find one sitting down was if one, say, wanted to paint a picture. This was not because that child needed to take a break from running around, but simply because they wanted to paint! This may be surprizing to us humans, but this is only because we have become so used to how our own life works, we've forgotten what it was like before our birth. In this dimension, none of this was out of the ordinary –it was just the things worked. On Earth, centuries could turn into millennia, but up there, nothing would ever change from being that one, eternally long cloudless day.
When Daniki saw her companion-to-be trudge into view, she almost jumped. Where had he been all day? The sun had started to set, yet Karma had only just appeared.
"Karma!" she called, regaining her composure quickly. "Where have you been so long? I missed you immensely." Daniki awaited an answer, only for him to walk straight past as if she never existed "Karma, are you even listening to me?" But try as she might, she couldn't get him to so much as look at her, let alone speak. She watched him enter the house, heading straight towards their cushions, onto which he plonked himself. Daniki stared on in amazement. What in the worlds has got into him? She'd never felt so rejected in all her life. Nevertheless, she tried not to let it get to her, but rather, try to make sense of these things. Just from observing Karma's face, she could tell he was not as troubled as before. Somehow, more at peace. Whatever had changed, at least it was for the better.
Quietly, Daniki paced over, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Karma," she began to attempt coaxing at least part of the story out. "Is everything alright lately? You know you can always share a problem with me. You can trust me. I wouldn't laugh, if that's what you're worried about." She didn't think she'd get a reply. She was prepared to give up and move on, when –
"Randouka..."
"Huh?" She blurted out. Had he actually said something? Had he?
"Ran...dou...ka," he repeated, more hoarsely this time. But still something!
"What-what is that? What do you mean?"
"My love..."
"Yes?" she was bewildered.
"My life..."
"Go on, I'm listening." she was starting to become ever so slightly impatient.
"I couldn't live without..."
"Look, Karma. Can you explain? Please?"
"...Her." Karma seemed to have finished his sentence.
Daniki blinked. It took some time to figure out what this sentence meant, and when she did, she was not happy. "Her? Wait. Who do you mean? Who is this her?" For the first time for what felt like years, Karma set eyes on her. But instead of making her feel better, it only made things worse. Because the way he did it was how one might look at an idiot.
"Randouka," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Ra..Randouka? But who is Randouka? Holy Michael! Why can't just explain to me in simple terms: what are you on about?"
Daniki felt incredibly rude for bursting out like that, but with Karma now staring at her like even more of an idiot, she soon found she wasn't actually sorry.
"She is everything to me. The love of my life!"
"But WHO?" She began jumping up and down from nerves. These were the kind of things he ought to be saying to her, by rights! With the happiest day of their lives coming up rapidly –there was no room for this!
"I just wish that we could be together," Karma continued, taking his gaze off Daniki and bringing it up to the ceiling, strangely wistful. "If only... But Michael said he won't allow it."
That made her stop and think. Some pieces were slowly beginning to fit together... Karma must have visited the archangel at some point. Recently. Maybe today. He's clearly fallen in love with another.
Another. The word sickened her. Not me. How could this be? They were supposed to be angels, for goodness' sake! Betrayal wasn't on their catalog of actions. It shouldn't even be in their thoughts! This left one question to play on her mind. How did these feelings get into Karma? Daniki couldn't handle being in the house a moment longer. The walls, the furniture, floor, carpets, cushions that Karma was sitting on all pressed in on her, bringing on an unbearable nausea. If angels had a stomach, she would have vomited. But since they did not have physical bodies, she had nothing for it but to get out. She didn't yet know where to, but that was not her main concern. The most important part was to flee. So flee, she did.
When I thought the monotony of my life couldn't get any worse, I was called over by the council of angels to get a new job. To be honest, I was neither thrilled nor overly bothered. Like, it's nice not having to mope around aimlessly anymore, but at the same time, isn't my next ward going to be a repeat of all the previous ones? Luckily, I was no longer weighed down by the guilt of what I did, having forgotten it already. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have turned up at all, and that would have only caused more problems for myself and everyone else. No –I arrived fresh, early, and ready to take on a new responsibility.
"Nemesis," they called me up once the last visitor had left. "You may enter." So I did. Up those steps and into the Grand Hallway, where they all sat: our representatives, who made our main decisions, ensured everything ran smoothly and looked after our community. We respected them as much as they respected us.
"Good morning," I said, sort of bobbing my head down.
"Welcome, Nemesis. I trust you came to hear about your next responsibility?" Ezekiel asked. He appeared to be presiding over today's meetings. I simply smiled in agreement. "Very good, very good. We have found a suitable child for you to look after for the rest of his life. His spirit name is Tavie, but as you already know, his parents will christen him with a completely new one during his days on Earth. Now then, do you accept this charge, or not?"
Up to this point, everything had run by tradition so old, there was no need to be told what to do. This short ceremony would end with the guardian in question stepping up to the altar, one hand on their heart and the other on the crucifix, then recite the vow of protection over their new object of care. What Ezekiel had asked wasn't even a question, so much as an expectation. Just like marriage. People don't really say 'I don't,' because if you wasn't certain about spending the rest of your life bonded to another soul, then you wouldn't go to the trouble of organizing a wedding in the first place! For this reason, I almost automatically took a step towards the altar, when a very sudden and bizarre thought occurred to me. Making me question why I was doing this at all. Had I not been the guardian of over fifteen people, dating back many generations? And has my presence ever benefited them, in any shape or form? I'll tell you the answer to that one. It's a big, emphatic no. Every time, I have tried to guide them to truth, to salvation, trying to point their thoughts in the right direction. And by all means, some have come closer than others. But in the end, when it mattered most, they failed. Every last one. My charges were all so caught up in what they thought was godly behaviour, they completely ignored the messages from deep within, which I worked so hard on sending. That's the worst thing about humans –they can't stop the jibber-jabber going on in their heads. There is no off button. Sorry, let me rephrase that. There is an off button, but hardly anyone knows of its existence, let alone where it is. But they ought to. If people could switch off that small talk for even a few minutes a day –imagine what they could gain from it! All the wisdom, all the creativity, all the epiphanies in the universe would finally have space to come in. It's so sad only a few privileged individuals actually learn to shut down and find inner peace on a regular basis. Because it's only once people learn to do that, that they can build their connection with the divine –and us. Only that way is a person truly in tune with nature, their instincts. They'll know in an instant what's right and what's wrong –no need for a Bible to tell them. That way, they're fully alive.
When you put this message into words, it takes a long time not only to read, but also to get your head around.
So now, try to imagine that all these thoughts, emotions and concepts flashed through me in a second. Difficult, isn't it? But true, nevertheless. That's what made me hesitate. What is the point, I ask myself, of watching over generations upon generations of people, if they all make the same mistakes as their forefathers, again and again? It's not like we can physically fly down to help a person, so why bother? Why have a guardian vocation at all?
Ezekiel obviously sensed my doubt, because he soon asked "What is it, Nemesis? Is there a problem with the proposal?"
I wasn't concentrating at this point and blinked at him. He repeated.
"Oh," I felt a little caught out, unsure how to reply. "No, I have nothing against the boy…"
The head of the council raised his brows knowingly, pressurizing me to continue.
"Well, I, um…don't know about…"
"About...?" I now realized that all my umming and erring was not going to get us anywhere. Ezekiel would only carry on prompting me until I spat it all out. Every rebellious idea. So... how should I phrase it? "I... don't think that my guardianship is all that helpful." I blurted out quickly.
"Not helpful?" he echoed, bemused.
"No, in fact, I don't see how it's really benefiting the people."
Aaliyah raised her hand to cut in. "What makes you say that, Nemesis?"
Other voices joined in as well, causing a commotion. They had me stuck. When I first came into this building today, I had no intention of revealing my deepest thoughts. But what way back was there now? It was my own fault, anyway. "It's... well... how can I say? I've been doing this job long enough to notice..." The words stuck in my throat. It's not exactly easy to complain against the way things are, with twenty-odd eyes on you, staring. Not maliciously, but with a strange kind of curiosity. "I noticed that... we're not really getting anywhere with the humans. Neither them, nor us." I finally plucked up the courage to say "I mean, most of them have a habit of making not-so-great decisions, and we have little to no power to change that."
"I think you are mistaken there," another voice chipped in, which I recognized as Habuhaim's. "We can change things, and we do. Guardians are there to watch over people's actions and urge them in the right direction, only it is their choice whether to follow the advice or not. I thought you would have known that, by now." Habuhaim had not meant to sound condescending, but he couldn't have been more so if he'd tried.
"I do know!" I protested. "Of course I do. That's- that's exactly what I was talking about, actually!" I had to pause as more commotion arose. Oh dear, was I getting a bit snappy just then? Offending the council, directly after challenging our ways, was the last thing I needed right now! "Yes, that's the whole point I'm trying to get across. The humans –they just don't listen!" I found myself having to raise my voice in order to be heard over the others."I don't know about anyone else, but for all the years that I have served people, not one has taken on board the guidance I've offered. That's right, not one."
My words clearly stirred some mixed opinions in the audience, because they were all chatting away like cockatoos, until at last someone shouted "Let the girl speak, then!"
I faced the direction of that voice and thanked its owner, before continuing. "This is why I feel like... we're wasting our time. There's no point. People are still making the same mistakes as they were a hundred years ago and there's no progress. To be honest, I think it's getting worse." I had my mouth half open whilst thinking of what more there was to say, when I realized there wasn't. Somehow, I'd managed to cover the whole topic in just a few sentences... Impressive. Strangely, this time, the council didn't say a word. They simply blinked at me, and at each other. I guess they had a lot to think about right now.
"Well, thank you for that, Nemesis," Ezekiel concluded for us. Mostly out of duty, by the sound of it. "We shall be taking your ideas into consideration." There was awkward silence: he had no choice but to fill it. "So, do you accept Tavie as your charge?"
This time, I really was speechless. After everything I'd just said. How could he even suggest that? I could barely spit out my answer. "N-n-n-n-no!" Then again- "No." Just in case they hadn't got it the first time. I left then, not waiting for a response. What more could any of them say, that would be of use to me? From what I could gather, the council had nothing left to offer me. To me, it felt like the end. I couldn't have won this situation, even if I'd accepted the job like a good girl –it would have only been the same-old same-old all over again. And again. Over and over, until I disintegrate... That's hardly a life. At least, not in my opinion
I feel a lot like running today. To stretch my legs and feel the wind gushing past. I could have flown. That's what my kind generally do, to get around to places. But as I said –not today. There was something about running that I really needed right now, to relieve the stress that had been building up for some time now.
Stress... that's not a word you'd expect to hear in heaven. Heaven. Just goes to show, no one can really find perfection anywhere, ever. This creation really is flawed... As I was racing home, all this was turning and churning through my mind, in a way that made me lose track of the journey altogether. So when I did turn up at my doorstep, it almost came as a surprize. I just needed to be alone, not doing anything, not thinking anything. In fact, this was more than just stress, this was a kind depression. It was this deep feeling of uselessness, of not being needed for anything. It was a horrible feeling, of finding out that your life's work has been for nothing. I sat there, huddled up in a little ball in my house. Such a pitiful sight I must have been.
I had to get of here, one way or another –that much was clear. But when it came to how... I might as well have gone back to square one.
Then another thought occurred to me. Maybe I should just leave this Valley altogether and start up in another kingdom –even if that meant going to Earth. I know humans have been taking up a lot of my thoughts lately (basically, going over and over everything that infuriates me about them) but actually being one may not be such a bad thing. After all, they don't have to worry about being flawless all the time, and don't have half the responsibilities of. Their lives are so carefree by comparison, their only problems are ones of their own making. No more than children to us... Well, it seemed that way at the time. I wasn't my normal self, you must bear in mind. And at the end of the day, this was only an idea. It hadn't got any further than that.
4. Evil By Nature?
There was hubbub in the Kingdom of Babies Yet to Come. Toddlers ran about, shrieking, less out of fear than simply for the fun of running about and shrieking. As you might expect from children.
There was a fight. Now if there is one thing you ought to know about this kingdom, it is that fights came about as rarely as you might see a pig fly. Needless to say, the youngsters were curious to watch the events, to see what would happen next. After all, most of them didn't even know what a fight was. News spread from one end of the kingdom to the other –and back again –at the pace of wildfire. There's trouble in the library, one mouth would tell another. Oh, big big trouble! Children swarmed to the high balconies surrounding the library's main hall, providing the perfect vantage point for witnessing the action, whilst being a safe enough distance from it. Meanwhile, some of the more adventurous ones stayed on the same floor as the two attackers, either to stare at them in fascination, or to go as far as cheering them on. It's a boy and a girl, the rumours went on, they disagreed on something, but it's hard to tell what. Whatever it is, it don't look good. They're screaming at each other, throwing books on the floor. But who exactly? What are their names? We're not sure. They look familiar but we're not sure. Hang on a minute! Is that Ularion and Randouka? Yes! Yes! It's Ularion and Randouka! Randouka and Ularion! But we can't tell who is who anymore, because they're both one rolling heap on the floor.
"You are a fail! You just don't like hearing it coz you know it's true. Don't like it but it's true!"
"Shut up!" Randouka screamed, flinging another encyclopedia of medicine at Ularion, but he ducked and the whole thing went crashing into the wall behind him.
"No one will ever want to be your friend. No one likes you at all."
"How would you know?" she shot back, fumbling around on the shelf for something else to throw. Nothing left. Randouka threw herself.
"Because of that!" Ularion managed to fit in before the wind was knocked out of him.
"You saying big, nasty lies about me and think you can get away with it."Randouka seethed, trying to pin the boy to the floor. Bad idea.
"Your mamma's gonna hate you when you're born. She gonna tell the stork: send her back to Grampappy!" he said, having swatted her from her position at the top and gained it for himself.
"You not even gonna have a mamma because you so rotten. You'll just pop out of a rotten egg and be a rotten egg the rest of your life!"
"Not half as rotten as you!"
Randouka wriggled and grunted and heaved, but there was nothing she could do to shift Ularion or herself. He sniggered ...Until she tried kicking him. The pair were completely oblivious to how much of an audience had gathered around them –too wrapped up in their own feelings of hurt and injustice. By the time someone ran to fetch Grampappy, they were full-on scratching, beating and cursing, to the point where some children were scared and didn't want to look anymore. It was somehow demonic. The only thing that could make them stop was a crash of thunder as an angry Grampappy stormed into the hallway. Children shrieked and ran in all directions –now genuinely out of fear as oppose to the fun of it.
It had gone dark. That's right –the beautiful, unchanging, pastel-shaded sky had just turned an ominous purple-y black. Only briefly, but still... that wasn't even the worst part. It was Grampappy. None of them had seen an angry Grampappy before, yet here he was, conjuring thunderbolts by sheer will and fire dancing in his eyes.
"WHO DARES DISTURB THE PEACE OF THIS PLACE?" his voice boomed throughout the whole kingdom, echoing as it went.
Ularion and Randouka had frozen on the floor. They didn't even realize they were hugging each other for all they were worth. Grampappy wasn't that tall, though he somehow managed to tower over them when he wanted to. "You, and you," he pointed. First at the boy, then the girl. "What is the meaning of this bickering? Our kingdom has no room for anything but love, security, friendship and ambition." The storm clouds slowly started clearing, becoming a sickly, pale yellow like the morning sun. Likewise, Grampappy's gaze softened –just a tad. "Now then. I want us to go through everything that led up to this silliness, step by step. Alright?"
Tentatively, the pair loosened their grip on each other, like two tortoises deciding whether it was safe to come out of their shells yet. "Don't worry," he said, sensing their fright. "I will not hurt you. Unlike you," he added darkly.
Randouka and Ularion shuffled into a sitting position, looking up at the patriarch with big, round, puppy eyes. Both waiting and hoping for the other would start.
"Come along, don't keep me waiting." At last, he managed to wheedle out some sort of information from the pair, and it went something like this.
Randouka hadn't been in the library before. She'd always dismissed it as the place where nerds go to fill their heads up with even more junk they didn't need to know. Today, however, she had an overwhelming desire to explore a part of the kingdom she had not been to before. And once she was there? Well, how could she resist doing something naughty? It was almost on an instinctive level to her: spoil, laugh, repeat. This time, her attention was brought to the books. There are so many of them, she thought, but what are they all for? Randouka could bet that the ones on the top shelf had most likely never been touched. After all, an average toddler couldn't even reach the second shelf up without the help a step ladder, of which there was only one. And even if they could, why would they want to anyway? What would they be able to understand from a huge adult's tome? It was at this point Randouka decided that it would be she, and she alone, who would uncover those ancient books of the past. After having a nose around the aisles, she soon found the step ladder. At least it was firm and steady, with smooth wheels. Perfect for rolling around on! Apart from mentioning that a small group of book studiers were extremely puzzled to see a brief flash of –of something– whizz past their row, accompanied by hysterical laughter... need I say more?
As you might have guessed, Randouka was absolutely enthralled by the ride. She used the walls and shelves to push off from, while the rest simply sorted itself out... Well, excluding the fact that most of these rides ended with a crash, everything else was fine. Or rather, it seemed that way. Randouka had enemies now. Of course, that was the least of her worries at the time, though there were others out there who weren't prepared to let the fact pass. They wanted to take any opportunity to remind her that she was disliked, and it just happened to be now. After having ridden through four aisles, Randouka grabbed at a shelf to slow herself down, dropping a few books as she went.
"Mm, what's this?" she thought out loud, flicking through pages until she found a funny diagram of male genitalia. Only her amusement wasn't going to last. It wasn't long before a gang of age-mates had gathered by the foot of her ladder, and there was only one difference between them and her –they weren't smiling. Randouka suddenly felt herself being violently shaken, making the book slip from her fingers and crash to the floor. It could have quite easily been her. "Hey. HEY!" she cried out, gripping the railings. "What's that for?"
The harassers didn't answer, though a few turned their faces up to look at her.
"Get off, it's annoying!" The shaking died down, only to be replaced by some nasty mimicking.
"Get off, it's annoying!" one of the boys said in a stupid, whiny voice.
"I don't sound like that!" Randouka retorted, but he repeated it again. She was getting angry now. She scrambled down the ladder in order to get level with these strange, malicious children. "What you want?" she demanded. Most of the children looked at the boy who'd spoken, as if they were only there to follow his command.
"You're horrible. So now we gonna make you cry."
"Me?" she asked incredulously.
"You know who you are, you know. So why pretend you don't? You knocked down Kao's castle, then you made Mearl trip up. Remember? And you laughed, too, You did it, just to be spiteful."
"I did not!" she lied, even though she could tell the others knew already, and the boy made no attempt to hide it.
"Did too! I saw it, liar. Liar, liar, pants on fire!"
After this, Randouka lost her temper. She gave him a big, stinging slap on the face.
Some of the gang began to giggle, until their ringleader promptly shushed them. "Oh... so that's how you want it. I wasn't going to hit you coz you're a girl and you shouldn't hit girls an' all that, but you... you're kinda asking for it."
If Randouka's lie made her cheeks flood with colour, then this made it drain away twice as fast. "I not asking for anything else, just go away!"
"Nu-uh." He took a step closer.
"Go on, Ularion! It doesn't matter she's a girl!" one of his friends egged on.
Ularion. Of all the children in this group, his was the only name she actually learnt –she was far too self-absorbed to memorize any others. But her loathing for him was so strong, that name would be imprinted in her mind for a long time yet. Meanwhile, an audience was gathering. Little did they know, but this drama was beginning to stir some attention. "Well, what do you lot say? Should I slap the brat?" This was met with mixed replies.
"Yeah! Give her one!"
"Slap the brat! Slap the brat!"
"Don't let them bully you. Stand up for yourself!"
Unfortunately, Randouka was too far into this conflict to notice the last comment was aimed at her, so it sadly went to waste. Her attention was on Ularion, who had somehow managed to stalk up to her nose in the space of two steps. To make matters worse, some of the rowdier members of the gang started up a chant of 'Slap the brat! Slap the brat!' All this combined, was making Randouka very anxious, yet she still refused to budge. Ularion was coming closer too. At last, even she, with all her steely will, couldn't hold back any longer. She lashed out like a cat, arms and feet, yowling. He was slightly taken aback. But only slightly. He was still too close to Randouka for her liking, and found himself being clawed at again. And again (for good measure).
"Oy! What's that all about?" he cried in mock indignation. "Noooo, you're definitely asking for it now. I just gonna have to fight back."
She braced her fists and legs –but when a very angry little body launched itself at her, it turned out she wasn't really prepared at all. Neither were restraining themselves anymore, or bothering with banter. It was full-on fighting now. Some toddlers had begun to take sides, whilst more and more crowded on the top floor.
"Do you even know why we don't like you so much?" Ularion managed to say in a moment when they both felt the need to loosen up. Randouka had no answer, and decided he didn't deserve one anyway. "It's coz you always spoil things for people. You don't leave them alone. Just coz you don't have anything to do, don't mean you can get in everybody else's way."
She took those words hard. There was no doubt they were true, but also no way that she was going to accept them. Instead, she had nothing left but to cry out "I hate you!" -and the brawl started all over again.
"Hmm..." Grampappy mumbled, deep in thought "I see..."
His two young companions were looking up at him as if he were a judge, about to give the verdict.
"Oh, forgive me," he let out an apologetic laugh, once realizing how much suspense he was causing. "I was getting too carried away in that story of yours. Still, I hope you don't expect to be let off lightly for this –you won't be. I do have an idea forming about what to do with you all, only it needs to be discussed with my aides first. Come, follow us." he concluded, finally rising off his knees. "I would appreciate if you could wait outside the observatory. That goes for you as well," Grampappy nodded towards the rest of the gang, since they had been involved in the fight too, just to a lesser extent. "I would like you to sit there quietly until one of us comes to fetch you, is that clear?"
The youngsters nodded glumly, as Grampappy took hold of one of Randouka and Ularion's hand each and led them forth. The others followed.
The Observatory? The idea of being taken to the 'secret adult's room' filled them with both excitement and dread. It was a bit like a staff room at school –you only ever went there if you'd been very very good, or very very naughty. They weren't particularly thrilled about being sent there for the latter reason. The shamed ones paraded gloomily up many set upon set of staircases, until at last the peak was reached.
"I ask you to stop here now, while we talk in private. Why don't you make yourselves comfortable?" Grampappy waved at a heap of beanbags lining the far end of the room. It was only a small, circular one, and happened to be empty of any other company. Almost like a waiting room –the furthest a child could go before being faced with the mystery of what lay in the angels' observatory and Grampappy's quarters. Or it might be a cool place to go if you didn't want anybody to disturb you, and you wanted to enjoy a panoramic view of the sky and floors below.
Ularion, Randouka and co. shifted nervously to the far side of the room, where there was no option but to sit and wait. Despite the cushions being soft, covered in silky star embroidery, none could settle down or relax. Most kept squirming and changing position, and one girl set about biting all her nails off. No one spoke. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, the top-most gate that led to the observatory opened, and out poked two large, slippered feet. The patriarch had returned, and a verdict was reached.
"It's been decided," his authoritative voice boomed again. All eyes were on Grampappy. "We do not tolerate fights here, in the Kingdom of Babies Yet to Come. I've said it before and I will say it again. Only peace is allowed up here, no less. And therefore..." he paused, to add weight to his words "Therefore we have decided to send you out."
The statement was met with blank stares.
"Oh yes, I mean what I say. You are going to be sent out to the big world. Before your time, may I add."
The guilty ones exchanged glances, not sure what to make of this sentence. Was it a good thing, a bad thing, or not really either way, that they'd be born early? Fortunately for them, Grampappy had the answer already on his tongue. "You think we are being easy on you? Ha!" he chuckled, head shaking. "There is a reason why each child is called to leave the Kingdom at a certain time. There is a grand plan out there for each and every one of you. All of you have the power to achieve great things in life –it's just up to you to learn to use it. But I would not dismiss this as a light punishment. Being born before you're meant to could, potentially, change everything. You'll see, you'll see."
For a short while, all were silent. The message needed time to sink in, especially one as frightening as this.
"Now then, I have talked enough for the moment. It is time for you to go." Grampappy nodded towards his aides, who came down the observatory steps after him and began coaxing the children back to the lower levels. The little rebels were in no mood to resist anymore and let themselves be herded away. Even Ularion looked beaten down. Only Randouka felt a twinge of something... something not being right here. That hang on a minute. Why are you letting yourselves be punished like this? Aren't you going to try, at least, to stop this from happening? kind of feeling. Strangely, she had grown accustomed to life in the Kingdom of the Future, and was actually enjoying it. She had no intention to leave just yet.
"Um, hello?" she quickly scanned the room for the nearest figure of authority –in this case, a short but willowy angel. "I-I'm not sure I want to go anywhere."
The angel ignored her. She and the others were too busy rounding up the group and bundling them down the stairs, as they would with a flock of sheep.
"Hey, hey! Stop!" Randouka cried out with more purpose, as she found herself being squished into a mass of about a dozen others. And it didn't look like she would be able to get out of the horde without a battle. "Stop it! Stop it! I don't wanna go anywhere –I wanna stay here. I like it here!" She started trying to shove a few of her age-mates out of the way. Obviously, not the best thing to do on a cramped staircase. Only after that did she gain attention, even if it was negative. Better than nothing.
"Children, what' going on here? Calm down please!" the small, willowy angel called out, as the other carers made similar comments. When they noticed that Randouka was the epicentre of trouble yet again, it took a few of them to try and calm her down. Failing miserably.
"No, don't touch me. I said I wanna stay, so leave me alone!"
The angels exchanged pained expressions. This was not going to be easy. "We need to remove this one before it escalates again. You take them down while we hold her," one told another, who nodded and set to work.
Meanwhile, Grampappy's aides were hustling around Randouka, trying to make her quieten down and stop thrashing. "Listen dear," one began "We are only doing our duty here. It's important you learn that a bad deed can't go unpunished. It's the same in the big world too-"
"Lalalalalala -I don't care! Just go away!"
"Someone go get Father Time," an angel muttered urgently. The two remaining talked it over, and within moments one of them was running to fetch the old patriarch. "She won't listen to reason!" one moaned helplessly to the other.
"I can see that," they grunted "Just keep her still until help comes."
"But how? She's already been told off once. I don't understand how she can cause chaos again so soon!"
"You expect me to know? I haven't a clue what goes through a child's mind. But all souls are different, aren't they? I suppose this one is just destined to be a troublemaker wherever she goes."
"I suppose..."
At that moment, the third angel returned, Grampappy at his heels. "We could not make her go down any further," he explained to the latter, whose face was contorting itself into a thunderous scowl.
"She will go. I will not have Randouka stay here a moment longer," Grampappy replied, before taking matters into his own hands. 'Matters,' meaning a very raucous, frustrated Randouka. "Who told you to start acting up again?" he chided, scooping up the kicking, screaming child under his arm.
"Let me go! Let me go! Let me goo!" she wailed, thumping at his chest again and again... to which he paid no attention whatsoever. In the end, she had to give up, flopping over helplessly. By the time they'd reached the bottom floor, where the stork delivery point was, she found herself being sniggered at from all directions. Only now did she realize how embarrassing this was. What an appalling way to be treated. This brought on a fresh wave of anger –though not at herself, of course. She could not blame herself for anything. No, this time, that rage was directed at one, specific person: that big lump of an old man, carrying her around for everyone to laugh at. How dare he shame her like that! All of this was his fault, HIS FAULT!!
"How does anyone think you're a Grampappy?" Randouka spat out, before she even noticed herself saying it. "All you are is a nasty, wrinkly, fat... toad!"
Suddenly, she felt a hot, sizzling pain shoot straight through her spirit body, leaving her stunned.
"Wha-what was that?" She was terrified. Pain was not something any of the Babies Yet to Come had ever felt, or were supposed to. It simply didn't exist in that plane, and yet... the feeling was real. Unmistakably real. Only when Randouka dared look up, she saw Grampappy's hand was still hovering above, fizzling with pure electricity. "It... was you?" she said in a voice so small, she barely recognized it as her own. Except Grampappy was in no mood to be questioned. In fact, his expression was too scary to face at all.
"ENOUGH!" he roared. He sounded even louder than last time, if such a thing were possible. "One wrong I can forgive. One, I understand sometimes you do not know any better. But to go out and disobey me all over again? That I will not tolerate. Do you hear? I won't tolerate it!"
The sky began to grow dark again: the storm clouds brewing. Some of the younger children cried and moaned. "You see them, over there?" Grampappy gestured first at Ularion, then at his mates, then at the wailing toddlers all around. "Now they also have to suffer, thanks to you. You have disturbed the peace here twice too many times –you, and that boy. So enough of that. Begone. All of you, begone!"
A pair of angels had come up from behind, to tug her towards the launching platforms. Which she did not like one bit. "Who's that? Hey! I don't want to go! I don't want to go-o-o!" As she was yelling. Randouka did not notice the many sad pairs of eyes on her. Although some of the children were still in shock from the freak weather changes, a few had calmed into a quiet, thoughtful mode. As they looked at the scene of unfairness before them. Many of them had lived in the Kingdom for longer than they would stay as a child for in our years and longed to gain a body of their own, to taste a breath of fresh air, to meet the family that would love and cherish them.. They'd waited and waited and waited.... But when it came to Little Miss Spoilt Brat, she'd spent hardly any time in the Kingdom at all before being cast away. And worst of all –where was the appreciation? She'd been dragged out virtually by the scruff of the neck, resisting every step of the way. Where was the fairness in that? That was what the children wanted to know, with their many, sad eyes.
Grampappy, however, no longer had the will to listen to these rants. He simply waved her off, whilst shaking his head in despair. "I feel deeply sorry for whatever woman gets the ordeal of becoming your mother," he sighed, almost to himself. "If this is how you act now, I dread to see how you will act when you become older. I can see hints of it now. You've got an evil nature, Randouka." With the last sentence, he made a point of looking her straight in the eye.
For the second time in her pre-life, Randouka was lost as to what to say or do. Evil? By nature? What did that even mean? Her first reaction was to cry. Everything had been going so well, she'd had so much fun... until it all collapsed in moments. The Kingdom had obviously plotted against her. First that dreadful Ularion, then his gang and lastly, the angels and Grampappy. Why all pick on her? What had she done wrong?
"I-I do-don't want – to be evil she sobbed. "I-it's you. You are." Her last words seemed harder to say than before, and no one was interested in listening to them anyway. In fact, another strange sensation was coming over her –a tingling this time, rather than pain –from head to toe to head again. Even Grampappy's reply sounded hazier in her ears.
"You are what you are," was all he said. "Let's not argue about it anymore." Randouka was actually preparing to do just that, except when she opened her mouth, a loud babble came out instead. Just as she wondered what exactly had happened, she found that her head could no longer catch up with her thinking. Then within moments, this did not bother her at all. She was quite happy to just let the world fade away... to grow more and more distant... until very soon there was nothing left but bright sunlight. And then, not even that. There was nothing. Nothing whatsoever.