Every bit of strength that I've got... every thought that was circling my mind feels so... lost; they're just- gone.
It felt lighter crying again, letting those words out... those tears. It felt lighter on my shoulders, but I felt emptier than before. Everything I am feels like they are in the dark, and I am desperate finding them... desperate crawling and running in the dark just to grasp any lost pieces of myself... I need something to hold on to, I need myself...
Suddenly, I felt the tingles on my cheek because of the sudden drop of rain on my skin... I looked up the dark night sky, then another raindrop fell on my face. My body jolted a little, as the cold wrapped me in its embrace. The rain started pouring hard like pebbles being thrown from above, my wavy hair felt heavy, and the water slowly entered through my clothes and coldly kissed my skin.
A loud honk of a car suddenly rang my ears in surprise. I turned around, and saw a car's bright headlights... it is coming through this dark alley I am in. "Hey!" The driver shouted in anger. He drove closer, and looked at me, "Do you want to die?! Try walking more on the safer side!" He spit on the ground angrily, and left.
"If I said yes, would he still wear that angry expression on his face?" I sighed, and looked down. I feel like trash... The safer side, huh? Tsk, as if there would be a safer place for everyone.
It is cold, and the wind is very cooperative in tonight's weather... I kept walking around from blocks to blocks, I didn't even realize that it is already pretty late... I am a few steps away from my apartment, but I did not have the need to run... I am drenched anyway.
I dug my left hand on my bag, looking for my keys, as I climbed up to the second floor. But at my door..., "Crap!"
My heart raced, and my mind suddenly woke up to the horrifying sight in front me! I kneeled and quickly grabbed Jet's shoulder, "Hey! Jet, wake up! Crap!" Keys... where is my door key?! Sh*t!
I trembled in a hurry to open the door! I dragged Jet inside, and patted his cheek lightly... I placed him on my couch as gentle as possible, but this kid is a little heavy!
Jet grunted in pain. And there, I clearly saw his body... his white uniform is ripped, and blood are stained on it everywhere. Purple and blue bruises are tattooed on his arms, the tip of his lips is slightly ripped and is bleeding. "What on earth is this kid up to?!"
I unbuttoned his shirt, and I saw his back... it is worse than his arms. I can not move, I did not know what to say... like, there are no words being processed in my mind while looking at him. He doesn't have any stab wounds, luckily. But, this is not cool!
I stared at him for hours... waiting for him to wake up.
He grunted, his hands reached for his stomach as he grimaced in pain. He sat down, his eyes averted, searching the room... then his gaze landed on me. "A-Ava?"
"I'm glad you are not dead." I stood up from the chair in front of him, squatted, and leveled my eyes on his. "What did you do?"
Jet's eyes blinked rapidly, he averted his eyes escaping from my gaze...
"Jet, what did you do?" Not a single word came out from his mouth, and there I knew... "Crap! Jet, what were you thinking?! I told you to stay away from Gladiolus!"
"I'm sorry, okay?! My brother is still missing, Ava!" He stood up, despite of the state of his body. Oh, what would I do with him?!
"And I told you, I will handle it! I will find him!"
"How, Ava? HOW? ! Are you not in trouble with them now?!"
"Jet, I... Look, I promised! And, I am not going to break it. I will be back in Gladiolus. Just trust me!"
~*~
The vibration and loud knock near my ears opened my eyes, it is so bright... I spent the night working at Matilda's, also known as The Red Restaurant, so I am beat...
"Ava, if you want to pass, listen. You are a year older than these kids, you should be a role model."
"Oh? Mr. Charden...," a yawn escaped from my system, and I can't help to stretch my arms so high. "I am so sorry, but your voice does not sound really good for a teacher. It makes us sleepy."
"Funny, Ava. You see me after class." Mr. Charden said while sauntering his way in front of the class.
I raised my eyebrows, slightly smiled, and gave him a lousy salute.
Half an hour had passed, the classes ended, and the school bell rang. I walked straight to Mr. Charden's office located at the other building. "Now, let me see those bruises, do you have any wounds?" Mr. Charden said immediately as soon as my foot stepped inside the room. He is weirdly so sensitive in his surroundings. It's creepy, but a little impressive... I wonder if he got it in his previous job.
"I'm fine. But, it is really great that you are a former doctor... wait! You are still one, right?" He chuckled as an answer, and he didn't say anything else. "You should go back. Throw the trauma to the trash can, and get your old life back." I leaned on the door and stared at his back...
Mr. Charden chuckled, faced me, then leaned, almost sitting on his glass table. "Easily said than done. We are just too trapped to do that, Ava. You are still stuck in that closet, and I? I do not want to go back. I like it here."
I do not understand him. "Even if you can save other people? Even if you can be happier?" Do we not choose the things that makes us happy?
He smiled, "I am saving you, that is enough." What? Pffft!
I burst out laughing, I can not believe what drama our conversation had led to. "There is no saving me. Even if there is, what made you think that I want to be saved? Do not make me your life purpose Mr. Charden." I sat comfortably on the soft single chair couch that is a few steps away from him.
"How about not make revenge your life purpose?" He replied back in a joking tone.
I nod my head sideways, while keeping the smile on my face. The moment I opened my mouth to respond, Mr. Charden's office door swung opened instead. "Ava! Help... m-me!"
As soon as Jet opened the door, his body collapsed on the floor. We rushed to put him on the empty bed at the nurse's office just across Mr. Charden's office. Jet have these strange cuts on his back, and bruises on his body buried inside his thin black clothes. What should I do? I need to- I need to stop the bleeding, and-
"...va, Ava? Ava!" I felt the strong pat on my shoulders, and the loud voice of Mr. Charden.
"W-What?" I gulped, and looked at him confused! What is so important that he want to say now? I need to do something!
"Calm down, Ava. I got this! You go get him some new clothes." I hesitatingly nodded, and unwantedly ran away to my locker. I grabbed my sweater and my gym pants and ran back immediately.
It is been hours, and all we can hear is the ticking of the nurse's office's wall clock with Jet's sudden and faint grunts from time to time. Mr. Charden is on a chair reading some kind of a book, while here is me staring at Jet's beaten body...
I can still remember him in his bloody white polo uniform three days ago... I sighed to let out the panic I felt, the uneasiness stirring up inside me since I saw Jet awhile ago....
"You look like his mother, you know that?" I looked at Mr. Charden with a confused look, but all he did was keep his eyes on the page. "The instinct of your hand treating him, easing him from his pain, before you could think of what you should do... it is surprisingly unexpected. I always thought you are not capable of making friends nor caring for other people. I see, that I am mistaken."
"I am not... his friend; but, I knew his brother. I do not care about anyone. It is just that his brother helped me before, I am just returning the favor." I do not have the time, and I can't risk, to be sentimental.
We both stopped the conversation when we heard loud grunts coming from Jet. Oh, he is dead when he recovers. I am going kill him!
Mr. Charden offered to drop us off after what happened to him. I dug my apartment keys in my pocket while supporting Jet to stand up. If I let him go, his bruised face would be kissing the floor right now. I walked him all the way to the couch, and let him sat on it.
I grabbed the wooden chair from my mini kitchen, sat in front of him, and waited for him to speak up.
"I am sorry," he said. I did not utter a single word, I just stared at him and waited... "I am really sorry, I got impatient... What if, What if something happened to my brother? What if-"
"Nothing! Nothing, Jet. Your brother is a lot stronger than you think. Now, I told you that I will handle it, right?"
"But Ava, I heard what happened! They are looking for you, you can no longer do what you promised me-"
"So you went there yourself?! Stop worrying about your brother, and think about yourself! Promise me you will not go to the Gladiolus base ever again." He did not respond but he gave me his round, puppy, teary eyes. "Answer me, Jet!"
"I can't do that.... I am already in."