*
It felt like the world itself was a cold storm once more, pushing and abusing her heart beyond her tolerance. Her body convulsed and trembled over her bed sheets. She simply couldn't endure going on the tour any longer, her mental state was absolutely weak. Yes, she was a weakling after all. Right after knowing she wasn't Kaori, for some reason she was no longer able to deal with the absurdity surrounding her life, like Kaori did.
No, Kaori was the strange one for being able to live while being an amnesiac, or being so carefree while enemies could attack at any time throughout the day. Her life was in constant danger, but she never stopped smiling like an idiot. But that in itself, while incredibly anomalous, was precious and valuable. Because it was just what Kaede needed right now. The ability to ignore the strangeness of her life... And simply live through it.
She understood that Kaori's goal was to be the ideal magical girl, that she loved magical girls. But how was Kaori enduring the journey towards that goal?
"... You are a fool. Have you forgotten your promise already? You said you would show me your resolve, yet you immediately folded over before a little setback." (Grail)
If course she did, she was merely feigning ignorance. The mere thought of it sends shivers down her spine, she didn't want to fight grail... Not at a time like this. Her thoughts were like an open book on her face, Grail could only sigh in exasperation as she waited for a reply.
"I see... So this looks like just a little to you..." (Kaede)
She fixated on how trivial Grail treated it. But she herself thought the same. She couldn't walk for one day? It was too boring and mind numbing? She wanted praise instead for having lasted half a day, but clearly nobody would give her that. After all, she was the one making big promises and breaking them one after another.
"... Exactly. This is too trivial an issue. Get back up and try again. Does your life have anymore worth than that? You seemed not to know the answer yourself." (Grail)
To Grail, it looked easy to bring herself back up and make another attempt. Following her orders would solve everyone's problems. Just try again and do it better... Right? But...
" My life... Of course it has no worth. What I'm protecting here... Is Kaori's life, not mine. So I'm struggling to fill in this ridiculous role that feels like I'm constantly fighting, like I'm the enemy of the world itself. It's tiring, unreasonable, radical, completely bonkers. How she lived like this was beyond me. " (Kaede)
She couldn't do it. Her mind was exhausted, hit another dead end. She wanted to runaway but Grail would hunt her down. That was without a doubt, Grail's new role in all this. Rather than an assistant, Grail had now become an enforcer to ensure Kaede follows along with Kaori's life... But even Kaori herself also ran away once...
"... For someone who possesses Kaori's memories, you really are the person who understands her the least.
Keep struggling. If I give you the answer, it would be meaningless and you would suffucate deeper into this abyss you caught yourself in." (Grail)
She could see that Kaede was making up excuses in her mind. She didn't know what those excuses were, but it wasn't relevant. No matter Kaede thought of Kaori, what she thought of her, and what she thought of this life... Kaede was still the one who proclaimed that she could handle all of it. Grail's objective was rather simple, steer her onto the right track. Kaede was thinking about the right elements but not in the correct way.
Anyway, where was her drive now? Her desire to prove Grail wrong waned out so quickly. It was superficial, like the dying flames of rage after losing a game... She needed something more fundamental, something that would... Push her entire being into the battlefield like Kaori did. It was one of the things Kaede needed to realise herself, the source of the power that pushed Kaori's entire being onto the spotlight, the reason she stakes her entire life and enjoys doing so. It was way more simpler than anyone could think, also a little idiotic as well... But it was part of Kaori's charm that made so many of her friends believe in her.
"Alright. Then I'll blindly struggle." (Kaede)
Looks like Grail reignited those dying flames smoldering in her chest.
"I'll dance to it until I die. That's how it is, right? Despite this kind of stupid desperation, Kaori survived. So will I, right? Then I merely need to become an idiot who thinks of nothing but battle.
That's it, Kaori must be a meathead!" (Kaede)
.... Well, she was technically right, but it had nothing to do with why Kaori fights. While she did highly value strength, that was merely a small proponent of her ideology. She didn't value it absolutely, rather she just chased after her own strength and didn't look at people in power values. She needed it for her own goals, it was not a goal itself but a tool to get it.
"Tch..." (Grail)
She bites her lips in frustration, Kaede does not acknowledge it, something she mentioned in passing but does not acknowledge... It pisses Grail off, but it would make everything pointless. It was like a self perpetuating issue that will continue plaguing Kaede, she'e mistaking the solution to be the problem. It's so moronic that it's driving Grail mad.
Some chills spread down Kaede's spine.
"Brrr... What's that...?" (Kaede)
She looks around in confusion before going back to nap. The subordinates can't be seen to be more capable than the leader, so everyone stepped down to rest that night as well. Barius gave that order with a hardened expression, it essentially meant that she lied. Everyone knew about the situation, it was at this time when she was finally grateful of having so little personnel. No one else needed to know, and it was easy to contain. Everyone here volunteered to join her because they believed her cause was just.
On the other side, the other candidates were having fine campaigns with activities more exciting than a tour. Neli held some parties, with the financial power that the Rising Knight Order possessed, they could simultaneously throw a few parties with free drinks for the residents. It worked exceedingly well by winning over the residents through their taste buds. In fact, since Neli was going to be Karell, the kind king, it was much easier for her to raise her popularity.
The other 2 candidates also had their own special events such as concerts and physical sports games. Barius also received some reports from Neli's side. She was also attacked but she fended off a few C grade attackers at a party. Every attendee was kept safe, but her situation was far riskier. The attackers had disguised themselves as attendees and thankfully they were easily apprehended by her gravity skill before things got hairy.
There was additional information from the order that coincided with her own team, info that she couldn't divulge to Neli nor Kaede. There were obviously more candidates that raised after Kaede and and Neli announced themselves... But they were never heard from for long. Likely the source of all these assassins that attacked them was the same, they got the other candidates because they didn't have as much backing as Kaede and Neli did.
On the surface it looks like some amusing idol popularity battle, but blood was being shed behind closed doors. They have some suspicions already, but nothing quite too concrete. They mainly pointed towards the first Karell candidate who was losing to the Kaitmei candidate's cheery persona. Her true name was Arial meluclar, it wasn't hard to find out from blending in with Arial's supporters. It was an open secret, she was a powerful magical girl and was rich herself.
She likely wanted to eliminate any potential rivals and had failed to kill the first Kaitmei candidate who had a small backing but brighter personality on stage. Frequently holding talk shows and sports events to engage with the fans in public. Kaede was the only one who held on to the 'evil' label which was quite frankly a handicap. But it also showed how serious she was compared to the others. Her first tour had garnered an unexpected amount of attention, tapping into the untouched demographic that favoured more serious looking candidates.
The next day, Kaede mulled over her own thoughts and stopped worrying. What Grail said had resonated with her deeply, to live is to struggle, so to struggle is to live. Then she shall just show everyone how hard she was living by struggling with all her might.
In an instant, she used massive amounts of magic to drive away all the heat in town. Due to the potency of her magic over the natural elements, it felt like the temperature had dropped in an instant, it was a negligibly fast magic that only magical girls could track the speed of. She then gathered droplets of water in the sky into this area of low temperature that she was creating, turning them into snow, starting an artificial winter.
This was no time to have joy, no time to live happily. She would drag everyone down with her if she had to, her magic spread across, proliferating like a wave of wildfire consuming central. 10 km radius... 11...12...13...and so on. Soon, it reached 100 km. She hadn't removed every bit of heat until it became sub zero, but an early winter was enough to make her presence known. With this, the news will spread itself.
Her weakness, her ugliness, her anger, her detachment, her solitude, she would cover it all with this snow. She shows her might through this raw display of power, despite being only B grade she was able to muster this much. Only the bare minimum amount of magic was being deployed to cover an area as large as possible, her proficiency raised her efficiency in employing magic to the fullest, a prowess that only intimidates other magical girls. Civilians wouldn't know much about the hierarchy between the grades of magical girls.
"Kaori... What are you doing?" (Barius)
Listening to that name... Began to piss her off. But she kept her irritation inside her throat as she gritted her teeth, as if blocking it from escaping her lips.
"I'm showing my resolve, I'll be the human King by force." (Kaede)
"... Stop it, at this rate your so called followers are going to die from hypothermia. They need time to pad their houses against the cold!" (Barius)
A new common sense that she wasn't aware of. She had memories as the magical girl Kaori, but not knowledge. She didn't want her potential supporters to die, it would be counter productive. She immediately tried to return the heat, the extreme changes in temperature were bound to have affected those with weaker bodies... She was unsure if what she did was right, but she wouldn't let it get her down.
"... Barius, I'm off." (Kaede)
A new resolute expression occupies Kaede's face, convincing Barius that she was ready. She went off immediately, her eyes were composed and her stride confident. Her aura herself made it seem like she was a completely different person. Her motivation was as superficial as before, she simply didn't want to be weak any longer. It was anger at herself that was forcibly transmitted to everyone else instead.
If there was one thing she excelled at, it would be combat. While there was indeed an emphasis on training the magical girls of a given faction into super soldiers to defend it, it wasn't as if they could force every magical girl inside their own country into a warrior. There were many more professions than that, each fulfilling their own role. Of course, despite this conflicting interest, some were still forced into at least becoming border patrol soldiers.
It was incredibly rare that a person would invest so much time into fighting as Kaori. It was as if she was forging herself for nonstop battle that could last an entire year if she willed it. Kaede saw this gap.... A noticeable chasm in ability between her mental endurance and Kaori's body's physical endurance. Even at such a late time, she still hasn't mastered using Kaori's body. All this time, all she's been doing is 'catching up' to the body's specs. She hasn't completed a single goal yet, she's still weak in the eyes of all of Kaori's companions.
She understood most of all, that her heart was weak. She kept having thoughts of wanting to run away, attributing it all to her ego that didn't belong in this body. There was not much anyone could do about that, it was a natural impediment that she was facing naturally. Only she could solve it, or it wouldn't really be solved. Others can help by putting a pretty lid over her problems, but they would only brew and exacerbate under that lid.
After all, she was still indecisive. At the end of this entire journey, what was her goal? Did she want to give back the body to Kaori? Or did she want to keep it? What was even more important... Was her justification for this decision. It didn't matter to anyone else, but it was significant to her alone. Whether she liked it or not, she had an unexpectedly moral ego.