*
The day after she declared war on the Demon King had arrived. She held her breath as she watched the rising sun. Unlike evening, the sky wasn't dyed in honey gold, the dark shade of the night instead transitioned into a shade of turquoise that lit up into a bright heavenly blue. She wonders how many more times would she be able to bask in this sight. Her heart gripped slightly tighter on itself as she pondered. Morbid as it was, the casualty rates for magical girls weren't low.
"Enjoying the view?" (Jiyu)
"... Yeah, I don't know how many more times I'll be able to see it, after all." (Kaede)
"..." (Jiyu)
She preferred to stay quiet in times like this, when the world turned harsher on humans, most people despaired at the lost of modern convenience. Some even ended their lives over it, voluntarily or not. As such, everyone carried their own unique grievances, melancholies that she cannot afford the luxury to care about.
So she cast the silence as her own way of condolence. Her breathing became louder in her heart and to be honest, she wasn't really good at being silent. In actuality, people's breaths don't get any louder than usual, it is merely the surroundings that got soft enough, giving the impression that they are inhaling and exhaling louder. Most importantly, she had a burning query. Overriding her head numbing conscience, she asks the question stuck deep below in her lungs.
"I've seen you fight. I've never known why. It's way more normal for someone of your age to retract into a sedentary shell and hide instead, wishing for some semblance of the normalcy that was lost on modern earth." (Jiyu)
Her heart calms back down, Kaede wasn't expecting an interrogation so early in the morning. Her eyes widened in shock. At the same time, she understood that it wasn't something as rigid as an interrogation, it was an inquiry born from curiosity. She thought deep about why Kaori was fighting instead, but when her memories show up in third person... It was hard to deduce her own thoughts... Kaori's thoughts. They were like an enigma, in every meaning it looked like someone else was in her body. A deep sense of incongruity would settle in everytime she thought about it.
As for her own motivations... They would surely be different, as she was an entirely different person. 'I want to find myself', disregarding how it would sound weird to Jiyu who has not an inkling of her circumstances... Did she really want to find her real body? What if... She couldn't bear to leave this life with Grail and the others?
"It's quite a common reason. If I don't take things into my own hands, I don't feel like everything I love will be protected for long. A fear of losing, I guess? It stems from how I lose... Everything, in The Great Disaster." (Kaede)
Her words grew colder and slightly louder as she spoke the last 3 words. Depending on the perspective, there could be different reasons to incite such feelings that it would affect her speech. As a result, her hand couldn't rest as well and her fingers shook with a thick sludge of emotion. She would not reveal who she was nor would she ask for help from anyone but Grail. It was preferable for everyone else to treat her as normal and for her to leave quietly.
"..." (Grail)
She could almost see Grail sulking in the back of her mind. But she dismisses it as a trick of the mind. For gaining self awareness only a few days ago, she wasn't so attached to the others yet. But it is undeniable that she is not Kaori, yet she can not leave them alone. She would continue to do her best, to make the most out of this 'life'. Sensing her thoughts, Grail finally spoke up. It would be confusing to converse with both Grail and someone else on the outside, so she had been refraining when anyone else was around. But this matter, Grail couldn't leave it in her chest.
"There is no guarantee that you'll ever return you know? I'm sorry to say this ***, but... You have to be prepared for both scenarios.
There's no way to differentiate whether which ending is better... You need to become capable of accepting regret, even if it's impossible. When that time comes, just call out my name. " (Grail)
Her mind censors the name, unable to comprehend such an utterance, it sounds like static from a broken old television. Her puzzlement only lasted for a few seconds as she quickly arrived at a conclusion. Grail knew her previous name.
One of the striking characteristics of the ego swap contract was her inability to guess when her actual memories started. After the ego swap with Kaori, her memories beginning from the end of The Great Disaster all the way until the time of the contract has been manufactured by the magic itself. The manufactured memories are different from her actual memories in that they are observed from a third person point of view, while her real memories are in the first person.
With such a glaring difference, wouldn't it be easy to deduce when the contract started, and narrow the culprits based on who was in the vicinity at the time? The answer was no, the magic acted on a similar principle to the law of magic girls when concealing names. Except that even if someone explicitly tells Kaede the name of her previous self, the magic would censor it and make it impossible for her mind to process.
It will be as if forcing one's mind to read an ancient language that they have no knowledge of, or an alien script that nobody can decipher. Forcing her mind to decipher that information would only bring back her mind's interpretation of it. But the mind cannot comprehend the complete unknown, so the interpretation ended up becoming garbled static noise.
This magic would obviously include Kaede and include her in its specifications to attach the effects. But Grail was outside of that, she was like a parasite physically, but magically she was still a stranger staring from outside the window. Myuu had been with Kaori most of the time, it took a bit of time but Grail was certain of the answer. She felt like a fool since it had been staring in front of her the entire time. She was even talking to the answer herself!
"You must have a lot on your mind..." (Jiyu)
"You knew...?" (Kaede)
She flashes a bright sunny smile, eclipsing the rising sun in the distance. Her brilliance poured forth like a wave of snow that cooled its surroundings.
"Do you know I've been so expressive since our first encounter?" (Jiyu)
"No..." (Kaede)
"You see... Ever since The Great Disaster ended, I've been constantly seeing sad faces. Expressions of utter despair, grief, suffering, you name it.
Even if what I've been doing is but a drop in the ocean, I want to continue. I want to at least spread joyful expressions to my surroundings. And for that to happen, I had to be constantly observing others in the first place...
Even without that, sometimes you're like an open book. It's messed up to think so, but it looks so cute when you bottle up your own thoughts in order not to bother others... " (Jiyu)
Her eyebrows twitched a little as she spoke, a slight blush coated her face and under her eyes, revealing that she indeed had a sense of shame. Kaede looked on at her expressions, thinking it was cute as well, as if to get even with her.
"Hahah...! You're right, that's really messed up!... " (Kaede)
"But I also believe that you have your reasons. Kaede, you don't act like a kid... Well, at least when it's not during battle. I think you're fully aware of the nuances that your actions bring. I can't say I'll respect your actions all the time, you could do something that you or multiple others will end up regretting on your behalf.
But you sure showed me when you defeated that Demon King clone. So I think I'll trust you a little longer. You share a mission with The Rising Knight Order, right? To defend life. " (Jiyu)
Kaede held her breath for a moment as she observed Jiyu's speech. A fuzzy and lukewarm sensation penetrated her heart, causing her palm to convulse as she wrapped it above her chest. She couldn't understand it, but she felt that receiving someone's trust wasn't so bad. It was also in line with her own values, her flimsy feelings that accumulated over the past 2 days, she knows they have a weak foundation and are dubious at best, but they scream out as they resonate with her soul.
"Mhmm!" (Kaede)
"Alright, we should get down from here. I have some patrolling to do on the outer perimeters. What about you?" (Jiyu)
"More deliveries... If you're on the outer perimeter, won't you be the first line of contact if the Demon King slips through...?" (Kaede)
Her eyebrows were raised as her gaze fixated on Jiyu with a solemn resolve.
"Relax, there'll be multiple teams of us, and Willen will be there too. It'll be like last time, and in any case... You will be the target." (Jiyu)
".... I'm fine with being bait. Now that I'm B grade, I won't almost die from stray attacks. I still need time to assimilate the new well into my body, but Barius and Neli being A grades can cover me for now. Wish you safe luck. " (Kaede)
"Thanks." (Jiyu)
With a simple reply, she leaves to head in the direction of their makeshift station. It was more akin to a shed that stored magical equipment that they would occasionally utilise in their missions, for now they won't see any use. Within a single day, Kaede had surpassed her saviours and entered the territory of B grade, she could feel her power growing by miniscule amounts by the second. In a few seconds, she doesn't grow by much at all, her growth is in fact unnoticeable. But given enough time, she knows her strength will accumulate.
She slips down the roof to make a quick exit, landing onto the street outside the office before heading in through the entrance. Barius and Neli were already up and talking to the others, grins peaking out as conversations ensue. As Kaede walked towards them, intending to join in, a person walking in the opposite direction bumps into her shoulder. She immediately turns around, ready to apologise, when the other person interjects.
"Hey, newcomer! Don't disturb them and just do your job!" (Asedia)
Kaede remembered her name due to her ordering food for everyone just the day before. Usually one would take more than a single day to memories the name's of everyone, and just like everyone else, Kaede didn't. She simply recalled about Asedia due to the striking impression that she gave her. Asedia's desk was one of the cleanest, if she hadn't known better she would have assumed Asedia was a newcomer just like she was due to how empty her desk was.
Most of the others did not care much for their organisation, once a case was done they would leave all the pertaining paper work in one corner. Only Asedia seemed bothered to check and dispose the things that she no longer needed. Of course, it would be absurd if Asedia was the only one with such an inclination, but no one else was as meticulous as her. That was for sure.
At present, she couldn't comprehend the situation. Asedia stood firm with her shoulder blocking Kaede's, determined not to let her past.
"You're making a mistake, who are you to impede me?" (Kaede)
"... It's true that I have no reason to stop you... But this is for your sake. It's okay if they approach you for a talk, but what if they get mad when you approach them? This is for your safety!" (Asedia)
" I can take care of myself. Not to mention... " (Kaede)
For a tiny instant, Kaede focused her killing intent on Asedia. This manifested a glimpse of her aura to oppress her target physically and mentally, it couldn't break through Asedia's will stat with the amount of strength Kaede is exerting her killing intent with. But it wrapped around Asedia like a vice grip, forcing her to forgo her breathing for a moment. She freezes up, allowing Kaede to push past her.
Kaede releases her in the next moment, as long as she doesn't do it for too long, the target could continue to stand without getting hurt. If she had continued on, Asedia's legs would have given out and slammed into the ground. Kaede wasn't the type that liked to see her new colleagues kneeling, so she quickly passed by.
Her expression also shifts the next moment, peeling the cold steel like exterior that she just wore for a cheerful sunshine. For her friends, the sunshine is amicable and relieving. For others, the brilliance tears into their skin and burns their flesh.