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Name's Kyou Jinmei. My grandfather was an ex-aristocrat from Russia. I say ex-, but it had been quite a few generations since the family last saw the existence of nobility. With modernisation, the world was slowly purging the noble system with relentlessness. 'The nobility are no longer needed', a common phrase among the people when asked about the topic these days. Nobles were after all, a leech of society. In some cases, they helped governed other regions of the same kingdom in exchange for taxes, they were then also the fodder when war arrives to that very region of land.
However, I can not accept it. Even if selfish, I still want to be a noble. It's why there is so much novels and games these days that allow you to simulate noble life. Though they were never able to match up the hardships of not having proper technology, the low level of hygiene and the factor of governing. All they have nowadays are "otome games" and other irrelevant garbage. I want to try it. I want to try using a chamber pot and exploit the commoners.
Such were my dumb dreams, even I realised I had nothing to look forward to in life at that point. My locker used to be shoved with love letters in Middle school, whether it was a prank or not, I couldn't accept any of those. If I were to enter a relationship, only weird rumours of my ambition would get out. My ambition to become nobility in this modern world, simply bizarre. I used to stave off the craving with a little cosplay, every now and then dressing up as a King or Queen at home.
Nevertheless, there was nothing else for me to strive for. Because of these hobbies, my grades were average to below average, nearly even failing some of my subjects. In Elementary school I was cheery and dull, taking happiness in everything. It was only when my Grandfather revealed about my noble lineage in Middle school did things go haywire.
Was it 8th grade syndrome? Or was it my genuine thought, to become a noble. It was so awfully silly, blurting it out in the middle of a conversation caused my last year of middle school to be hell. Social isolation, spreading of rumours, vandalising my property, soaking my textbook, tearing my homework, stealing my shoes, my umbrella, my stationary.
Even then it went further into harassment. Being invited into the toilet just to get beat up. I had a hunch that they were hungry for violence but still chose to look at the suspicious invitation optimistically. What all these occasions had in common though, was timing. They all happened when the topic of my ambition came up. A fervent display of my dream, enthusiastic chattering and the novelties of such a goal, the joy that came with it. Whenever I spout off about my dream joyfully, consequences came with it.
" It's retarded" (?)
They look upon my being as if I was trash and my dream as drivel. Yet I agreed. I wholeheartedly agreed that something this idiotic should never exist. Too bad this revelation came so late and the damage had been done. Flinching when people started a conversation with me, having a facial expression as if I was dying the whole time. Knit brows, scrunched nose, narrowed eyes, all the signs of discomfort.
Sometimes empathy could also work against you. If you look uncomfortable all the time, people start to feel uncomfortable too when around you. A shared feeling of dread, one they will naturally avoid by staying away from the source, you.
In that breath period of hell, I've experienced way too much stress and pain for a middle schooler. Everything was much better in high school, mainly because my childish dream didn't get out and I was no longer bullied for my dull blonde hair.
"It looks like dirty water was thrown over actual blonde hair." A common description for anyone that looked at it at first glance. Some people were even more unreasonable, they expected the colour to get more vibrant each time they see me. As if washing it would magically make the dull and low saturation go away. Or maybe they had expected me to dye it. Even though it was against school rules. Teachers themselves would believe it was dyed, because of how it didn't met their expectations. Truly, they were pieces of trash.
It was only one day in high school. My hobby couldn't be contained for long. Even if I try to hide and isolate myself, someone can look into my notebook and see the drawings. Drawings of noble men and Kings. Or they could visit my house and reveal the plethora of cosplay in my closet. When explained, this was the response.
"That's retarded." (?)
Though it was different than the comment made in middle school, it was pretty much the same. Like numerous knives had stabbed into my heart at the same time. They dig deeper and deeper until there was nothing left, just a hollow musk of a human
"You should adapt instead. Change it to politician. It sounds extremely moronic to judge someone else's dream and ask them to change it -considering my own dream- but I think if you were to aim to be a politician or governor instead, you would at least become the closest to an existence such as a noble as you can. I've thought through mine too, and I guess I'll aim for a police job. "(Kaoru)
It was a long an unnecessary explanation, but he made his point. At first I felt that he didn't have the place to criticise me, since he too was a social recluse of sorts. I believed he willingly isolated himself even though he had nothing to hide, just idling through his life like a swaying weed in a pond. But what his words entail, perhaps he too had much to hide. I one-sidedly got irritated with him and despised his existence. Thinking I was the only one weird like this was naive, anyone would hide something like this, so perhaps I had allies everywhere.
"... Haha! Did you perhaps dream to be a hero?"
"... Sort of? I would say it's very similar, but I simply won't expose mine like you did~" (Kaoru)
He had a beautiful smirk laid under his effeminate eyes, though they may look soulless and empty at first glance, they were simply filled with so much vigour that they looked blank. In reality, they were actually coloured out with his passion. This unknown passion of his really set my resolve alight.
Even now, after the Great Disaster had happened. My respect for him has not waned one bit, not even when I found out he had a questionable hobby of collecting girl's clothing. It may just have been a misunderstanding, even though he had no relatives or friends that would need that schoolgirl uniform, but I'll close my eyes to it regardless. Even how he has disappeared for half a month, leaving nothing but a simple goodbye and that he had some special job from a higher up, I would ignore that and focus on my own dreams.
Yuuka herself seemed to be getting more suspicious, leaving for random amounts of time at night or not returning back to her room at all. Ever since Kaoru left, she had been getting a little restless. Nothing I can do about that. I would just go on with my normal life, drifting like seaweed in the ocean again. Losing myself in work and enjoying myself with my colleagues. Instead of the manual labour that Kaoru did, I was more suited for preparing meals at temporary shelters.
There were no longer places for people to buy food, the means of food and clean water production had grinded to a seething halt. Sometimes I even had to hunt for myself, so it wasn't as if I had no exercise at all. It was hard work to cook at many various places. These places were the ones that held the vulnerable, the ones inflicted with disease or I jury and become unable to work. Most people have recovered from that initial onslaught, The Great Disaster, and are now able to contribute with their body. Working to rebuild society through various avenues that fit their own way.
I had gotten used to cooking for myself since it was common for my parents to stay up late at work. My grandparents would be living at a different region since my parents decided to move for their job, and it would end up in this extremely inconvenient lifestyle. Learning to cook for myself was easier and healthier than spending time everyday to get store bought food. Hence, I had some basic cooking knowledge I could use to help. Giving it my all, thrusting my whole being into my job, making every stop to make my food as delicious as possible, such things were my goals now instead of the previous grand goal of governing over people.
I simply change to fit the times, adapted my dream. Maybe I could rule over people's stomach instead. Haha, it certainly was easier than fighting with thousands of others to get one spot in the government. Technically it would be like fighting the whole region, convincing others to vote for myself. A lot of it, effort and money, mostly went into advertisement and public relations stunts.
To make one look as good as possible in the eyes of the many, something like that would take a whole life's efforts and be harder than my current job. Nevertheless, even if not as grand, I enjoy my current occupation very much. Looking at people's smiles as they dig into warm food, and their unexpectant joy at the rather good taste of it.
I wasn't fazed much by the Great Disaster. My grandparents were too youthful and adventurous to die off in some place. They were most likely rescued anyway, I had paid a magical girl with a large sum of my salary and she confirmed it. They were alive and well. My parents on the other hand... They had committed a double suicide at work before the disaster even happened. Being the person I was, I immediately assumed responsibility thinking they hated me...
Who knows what they thought, their last letter written was recovered and given to my Grandfather. All I had left was my life, so as the filial son I was, I decided to join my parents. Kaoru-kun happened to be there, and he saved me from myself. Anyone would say the one giving up their life was foolish, but what I saw in his expression was far different. It was sadness, this lazy and rather odd stranger of a classmate who lectured me on my dream unreasonably, understood the bare surface knowledge of what's going on and felt sad for me.
Naturally that was when I thought 'hmm, anyone would do at this point. I guess I'll live my life the best way I can, for his sake. For the live he saved, I'll use it to the fullest.' Maybe at some point I even started believing in what I thought. Seeing his face brought an odd amount of warmth and joy to my heart, as if I was being protected, rejuvenated to face life again. That was why I took his absence as a challenge, it be i dependant and not one-sidedly stack the duty of being my emotional support on him.
A role model, one that... Weirdly ignored his surroundings, but keeps a brave smile on while doing so. One that would fight off this monster intruding on my peaceful afternoon.
My dream now has adapted once more. I no longer want to lose my life in this mindless monster-ridden world. I want to fight. For myself and for the admiration I have for Kaoru. I don't know what's going on with him or his job, but this would it, the moment to fend for myself.
Large plates of metal with several metre protrusions float in the air and dance like petals on the wind. They give off a silver glimmer under the glaring afternoon sun light, hindering my ability to see clearly. These floating flats with large spines on them are like the skin of the monster, its actual body was a worm-like underground creature. It's body's skin was also metallic and was more like a chain of beads than a giant worm.
At the front of it held a drill that extended in all directions with a maw that would open with an ominous air to reveal sharp rolls of drill-like teeth. It was just a design mess at its head, which part of the drills open to form the mouth of the creature was incredibly hard to tell. But it was simple enough to deduce that it was a monster, there was even some blood and bits of flesh on its drilly head. When it surfaces, the metal plates would protect its body while it dives into a victim. A rather sound way of protecting itself, did an animal evolve into this?
In any case... I have awaken... Initially, I was smashed by one of the metal protrusions and my body flew quite some metres away. The fact that I didn't die is proof of it. My hair was still the same colour, but it now hung to my waist along with a newly materialised black cloak. The cloak was like a cowboy's and covered my torso from 2 directions, though it was only long enough to cover above my elbow and not my chest. Metallic gauntlets of silver covered my forearms and bronze armour patched up my body around the waist and sides to underneath my armpit.
Underneath the bronze armour was a white button shirt with steel chain armour underneath it. Below my waist was a black pleated skirt and snow white thigh highs with metallic boots.