The emotions were not going anywhere, certainly not towards the pillow I was punching. I cursed and cursed, screaming into nothing under my tiny apartment. Curling into a corner as I cried my eyes out, what else is there left for me to do? Life is hell, this is hell, being trapped in this tiny apartment with everyone hating me. It wouldn't be long before Tomoko hates me too. I kept punching the pillow over and over, tossing it around the room, and the more damage it suffered from me; the more the pillow started to resemble me. I had a headache I couldn't shake, not even with a few panadols. The game controller sat by my bedside, calling out to me, yet I couldn't even afford to pick it up. But I did anyway, what else could I do?
I texted Tomoko, she deserves the truth. I was a ticking time-bomb which she is dating, I have to protect her.
"Tomoko."
"Yes?"
"Dating me isn't gonna be fun or exciting."
"Why do you say so?"
"The truth is I'm a huge mess, and I'm a hikikomori. I sit at home and play video games all day. My emotions are all over the place and I cry myself to sleep every night. I won't be a good boyfriend to you."
"That's okay."
"İt is?"
"My job as your rental girlfriend is to provide you with the experience of dating that you probably have never experienced before. I knew you were, no offence, a lonely person the moment I met you."
"How? Is it because all I've talked about is RE:ONE?"
"No, it's the fact that your father hired me to be your girlfriend. I'm paid to put up with all your 'wild' emotions and support you. So don't need to apologize or warn me, I already know."
"Oh."
"Just be yourself. I'm paid to deal with that."
"Ok. Good night Tomoko."
"Ok, good night."
I met up with them again on my way to school, texting them to meet at my house. I was surprised they agreed, I thought they would've cut me off by now. Why were they still willing to meet with me?
"Hey man, I'm sorry about yesterday.", Makoto started. Why is he apologizing? It's all my fault after all.
"You don't have to-, it's my fault for being so quiet."
"Why?", Shou asked.
I stayed silent, unable to voice my struggles. Something stopped me.
"Come on. Still?", Shou pushed.
"Ok I- ", they leaned in, eager to listen, "Uh… I'm just trying to find a way to phrase this, it's really difficult for me."
"We're your friends, we won't judge."
"Ok.", I exhaled deeply, preparing myself for the onslaught of embarrassment, "Ok, here we go."
And the entire story flowed out of me, with the humiliation multiplying exponentially with each reaction received by the both of them.
"Oh my god, that's insane!", Shou gasped.
"Wow… I have no words." Makoto was left speechless.
"That bi-"
"I uh-, am gonna be late for classes, we can catch up again after school at the cafe."
"Ok. And Takashi."
My blood went cold, here comes the judgement.
"We got your back dude."
"I uh- heh. Me too. Ok, bye.", I dashed past the crowd, turning the wrong corner to the wrong classroom.
Thankfully college remained insignificant to my other burdens, giving me time to process my thoughts through the entire day. I met them at the cafe again, no longer waiting by the entrance like an idiot.
"Takashi, over here!", Makoto called out.
"Ok, promise me you won't tell anyone about my… rental girlfriend, it's embarrassing."
"Woah, hey, calm down. Let's order lunch first, and don't worry, we won't talk to anyone about-", They leaned in, "Tomoko.", And then came the endless teasing and the endless suggestive jokes. The two were always the perverted kind, which was the only type of comedy that could get a laugh out of me. It made me realize how long I have not laughed this openly.
///////Meanwhile//////
She walked down the street with her face crumpled in anger. There were no distinctive features on her beside the exception being a bruise on her arm.
"You deserved this.", Ayane announced with zero emotion.
"No one's forgiving Ayane. No one."