Her salty tears rolled in shiny crystal balls. She was guilty but she was confused.I regretted.No but from now on but my career is ruined even before it started. I joined them in flooding rivers of cries.Where right then it seemed impossible to stop crying. I wish such a belief in our culture didn't exist.Married?What if I don't want to?Marriage at a certain age?To hell bound with those rules.It was a reason I separated from my father.
I was left with the two usually strong women. It's too late now.I already cursed one of them.Marida.The sour taste in my mouth.The bitterness.If she wasn't for her I wouldn't be here.She knew my feelings . That's why she left.I don't know to where but a loving mother will always follow her child in times of despair. In times like this I wish that the dark pit of despair and the predicament of my failing career would vanish.Unfortunetly that was a wish not in command.
It pained me.His harsh words that cut deeper than swords.Imagine if he knew the real deal behind Renée. His voice heard clearly even though he wasn't anywhere near me.My Dad was disappointed in me.He always is no matter what I did.I am sure that even if I protrait a great image of Van Gogh. It'll be the fact that his daughter is a great philosopher that would make him build high expectations for me.
Was it really a shocker that he wasn't by my side near my mother and Marida?
I still can't believe that Renée lied. He didn't leave anywhere near me.In fact he lived miles away from my house. In the rich green scapes where the 'haves' dwelled. He had no free classes.He just left the school. Nothing made sense. Rouse was still a bright student .I can tell you that for sure.Then why would he just skip classes. The anger in the so-called Mrs.Rouse was beyond ordinary.
She wasn't,in any sought of way willing to free me.If it wasn't for Rouse's explanation.I would have rot in the filthy room behind the bars. He didn't however earn my forgiveness nor my trust.I might be lucky if I still had my job after the misunderstanding.Or in a much appropriate way after Mrs.Rouse.
At long last my own bed .The comfort of my own room with my mother besides me.A hot chocolate to ease the day after a commotic night. A simple discussion between us two.She was happy now. Her hand ran through my hair as my head lay on a shoulders. We enjoyed each others company and stared to empty space. I felt a peck on my forehead .Then she had caught my attention.
"Your father..."She pauses. "I am so sorry you had to hear that"
One would have thought that by now it'll be a norm for me.Or at least used to the said 'unintended' insults. He always made me feel like a peasant compared to him.In real sense.All he ever was a successful corrupt governor. He said a fool I was. That he came to town to meet a teacher not a convict. "Isn't it surprising¿Be more like...."The deep dark death stare from mother wasn't to be dealt with.He went his way."Be more like your sister Marida" What a tune.A song he sang.
There was no way to please the old folk. Lucky I am to be related to him¿
She caught me swallowing sand.As a result I never responded;She got the point nonetheless. My mind bubbled with a lot.Beginning from family issues down to the last conversation with Mr.Mertin. I could find ease. I wasn't fired. Believe me ,I am fully edited to his kindness. Hours later Rouse arrives bearing an apology.I regret ever meeting such a person. He stood at the door with plastered pitiful puppy eyes.His eyes glittered.
His nervousness was obvious even to the blind. This moment he arrived not on foot but by a black expensive car that shone in the sun. Of course his body guard was necessary.I might be wrong in any way possible but a familiar shadow sat behind that car's window. Really.It was vivid to make out the character.
Whoever that was had a ghoulish ki.The shadow was a she.A very familiarized she. She pulled my soul the longer I stared. Later on Renée's apology included chocolates and a single rose. Despite his efforts ,I wasn't impressed.His act looked genuine.His apology almost believable. The only way he would earn was via a price. Till now I feel no guilt a asking him for this but I figured out that if I can't leave the class he might as well do the honours.
Nothing compared to his expression.He left to join the mystery shadow in the backseat.As soon as he entered the car a topic arose between them.I could tell. I saw her as she looked away from me. My emotions were unknown to myself.Such a last event sent me to the dusty musty yearbooks behind the forgotten shelves.
Potential faces that might be the terrorising shadow stuck in my mind. I searched for another ginger head. Three girls with similar features.
:Molly Cruise
: Beatrice Miller and
: Lizzie McGuire
At least these were the finalist.Actually there were four but one had a faded face and name.The girl might have been a twin to McGuire or might have been the same person.Besides it was just a cutout piece from another yearbook.