Lily Gu trudged back, the house unheated and the room deathly cold.
Lily kicks off her heels and staggers into the bathroom, where she turns on the hot water in the tub, the one who had been holding on one moment, the one who had been dead the next, the hot water seeping through, the one with the Big Red Dress All Over the tub, it was like blood, and Lily Gu's face was white.
She closed her eyes and lowered her face into the water, which gradually filled the top of her head, shutting off all her senses and briefly suffocating her heart. After a while, she opened her mouth uncontrollably, and the hot water came into her mouth, and a feeling of nausea shot out of her stomach.
Lily opened her red eyes and poked her head out of the water. She was lying on her belly in the bathtub, with a hand clawing at her stomach. She opened her mouth numbly, her upper body twitched uncontrollably, and all that came out of her mouth after a day without eating was yellow acid, she had a sore throat and tears were falling from her eyes.
At the end of the vomit, Lily kneaded her sore eyes and looked at the blood in the mucus. The corners of her mouth pulled upward.
She took off her dress to wipe the floor. She couldn't let Simon see the blood.
It was getting dark outside, and Lily went barefoot back to her bedroom and dived into bed.
She couldn't sleep, even when she didn't know she had cancer, and now, no matter how hard she tried, she was dying.
Four years, she spent four years of time to lose their own completely, from happy to now look at the end of despair.
That day, she seemed to have shed all her life's tears, Lily put her hand on her heart, bitter irony: it's my stomach, why does my heart hurt?
Her cell phone vibrated in her bag, and Classical conditioning propped herself up to open it as quickly as she could, but when she saw the incoming call on the screen, her strength dropped.
Not him... Lily, what do you expect?
Lily stared blankly at her phone for two seconds before finally getting through with a stiff finger.
"George."Lily Gu's voice was husky, like the blade of a knife brushing against a grindstone.
George Qin grew up with her as a child, but they were more than family. As a child, she lived with the Qin family for a long time, and for Lily, George was like her brother.
On the phone, George asked anxiously, "Lily, why are you so hoarse? Are you sick?"
"Some colds..."
Before Lily Gu could finish her sentence, George interrupted her on the phone. "Lily, are you going to lie to me, too? Have you forgotten that I'm a doctor? I can tell the difference between a voice when I wake up and a voice when I cry after a cold."
She couldn't speak, like a sharp stone blocking her throat, Slasher her mouth, unable to spit it out or swallow it, and finally gave a wry laugh.
George asked, "Can you tell me why you're Crying?"
Lily held her phone and stared at the wood floor. No one likes to show off their weakest spots. She shook her head and said, "No."
George was taken aback. He knew what Lily was like, tough at best, stubborn at worst, and if she didn't want to talk, you couldn't pry the truth out of her with a pair of pliers.
George had to change the subject: "What did you get from the hospital today?"
Lily pressed her lips together. "It's fine."
George said, "If you don't want to talk about it, I'll go to the hospital and check it out myself. I'm still qualified to see your medical report."
George knows someone at that hospital, and it's the easiest thing for him to find out.
It was a mistake.
"You said or let me check, you choose."He is still pressing her.
The phone was quiet for a moment, so quiet that she could hear her breathing, and Lily was defeated: "Cancer, terminal stomach cancer."
George:"..."
The other person seemed to be holding something back, and the messy breathing continued to reach her through the phone.
"How is it possible... that you are so young..."George murmured to himself, his voice breaking.
Lily could feel his sadness through her cell phone, he was grieving for her, and she was content to have someone who cared for her before she died.
"Come to the hospital and I'll reexamine you."
Lily refused: "No matter how many times I check it out, George, I know in my own body that maybe this is karma..."
"Bullshit! Lily, you listen to me, you stay in the hospital, you're gonna be fine..."George, the doctor in charge of this, had a sad voice, he knew how bad it was, and he knew how hard the pain was.
How could Lily do this to her body?
George doesn't know what to tell Lily, sometimes it's not whether she wants to live or not, it's whether she wants to live or not, her time is already limited, and the hospital's advice is either to stay in the hospital for a few more years, or to give up treatment and let fate take its course, anyway... they're all dying.
"Lily, divorce Simon Lin. Look what he's done to you in the four years you've been together."
Divorce... Lily never wanted a divorce from Simon Lin, he was everything to her, the light she'd spent her life trying to hold on to, but how could light ever hold on to her?
Lily squeezed the phone hard, white-knuckled, and said with great force, "I'll think about it."
Divorcing Simon is like ripping a piece of meat out of your chest?
When George asked her to go back to the hospital the next day, Lily said yes, but she didn't really care.
In addition to being Simon's wife, she was also the CEO of Gu's, and there was always something weighing on her.
Human endurance is like a camel, can be carried under high pressure, but often the camel's death is just a pressure on the back of the extra straw.
When the call was cut off, Lily tossed the phone on the nightstand. Her stomach was aching. It was hard to sleep tonight. She opened a drawer and took two bottles of medicine, one for pain relief and one for sleeping pills. She took two each and fell into bed.
I don't know if the drugs are working, but my brain is starting to feel a little foggy, and I'm having nightmares, like I'm being held down, and my chest is so heavy that I can't breathe, and she shakes her head, and then she wakes up, and she wakes up, and she's like, it was definitely Simon on top of her.