It's 2 am in the New York City. I guess nobody is unfamiliar with the late night city lights of NYC. When I moved to New York city, there were nights i spent watching them. But with time I'm more obsessed with these lights, may be It's because in all this darkness, I can see some sparkle of light. I'm on the rooftop of the building I live. It's my favourite spot in NYC. I can feel peace over here. The only time where I can be myself, where I don't have to show off anything. When I can be sad, depressed, happy where nobody will ask me why am I happy or sad. " My peace place ". My name is Azalea chloe. I know Azalea sounds weird, my parents also wanted to change it so bad but I didn't let them do it because the name Azalea was given by my grandfather. He loved flowers around him so he named me after his favourite flower 'Azalea'. Also it sounds mature than I'm so I kept it. But to be honest i prefer to be called Chloe. I used to live with him till he died. I was 9 years old when he left me. He had cancer. I still remember his last few words he said to me,
"Aza I love you, never feel that you are alone my child, I will be watching you from the sky, waving at you with smile. Listen to your parents, they love you."
I was crying so hard hearing those words, I felt like someone is just snatching my whole childhood from me.
"Pa don't worry you are going to be just fine, just take 3 deep breath, remember you told me if I am in any trouble or sacred or stressed, I should take 3 deep breath so you also do it, you will be fine soon don't worry. Aza loves you only ". I said to him.
He hold my hand and said "I know I'm going to be fine but you just have to stay strong my dear and don't forget to fight for your dreams, fight for yourself daughter but promise me you will never fight or go against your parents. Even if I'm not there to hold you will not let yourself stay down. You will be strong".
I promise Pa, I promise. But if you aren't there who will save me from this cruel world, they will take my happiness Paa, so you have to be strong and fight for me Pa, please don't leave, if you leave I'll be alone. Nobody loves me even you that's why you are leaving me too. Am I this bad Paa?? I said sobbing.
"No baby who told you are bad, you are my princess, I'm leaving you because I have to otherwise I would never left you, not even in my dreams my child but don't worry a prince will come to rescue you take all your sorrow, wait for him baby he is on is way. Then you will not need me so wait for him. He said with a smile.
Paa I will always need you. You are the only person in my world and how will I know if he comes and how will I know he is the one? I asked still sobbing.
Don't worry baby, you will know him, he will be charming, beautiful and kind to you. He said breathing heavily.
Seeing him like that my heart ache. Okay Pa, we will search for him. You take rest. I said to him.
Yes baby, your Paa is going to have a long rest and you are going to have a beautiful life my best friend. I love you. Don't ever cry my child, don't, I'm sacred this world is too cruel to have a child like you. Please don't cry even if you miss me. Promise? He said with a smile.
I wiped my tears looking at him. See I will not cry again Pa. I promise you not to cry, I said wiping my tears.
He looked at me like he is looking at me for the last time. Bye baby. Your Paa is going to rest now. Bye. He said closing his eyes.
I looked at him trying my best not to cry. Bye Paa, have a beautiful life there. I said.
He was my best friend. I never shared a good bond with my parents, evem they never wanted to have me but because of my grandpa's insist they kept me. For them my elder brother was everything. But after Pa died they were pretty good to me until that thing happened.
In this 7 years, there was not a single day that I didn't thought about that, to be honest about him. I wanted forget it all but I think the more you want to forget, the more you remember, so I never actually tried to forget it. I just kept living with that person's memory in my head everyday. I closed my eyes and I can feel tears falling off from my eyes. I wiped away the tears. I'm sacred if anybody see's me crying. It will get worst more so I smiled and shouted "I want to cry, I want to led my tears fall, I want to be the weak one too."
So that's how it is. This is my Peace place, sitting on the edge of the rooftop with a bottle of bear and listening to music is my peace time. Sitting here I can only remember that last time when he said 'I love you' to me. I could imagine our last hug, our last meet. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and then I remember that incident,
he was holding me from the back, with every minute the hug got tide, I could feel his tears on my shoulder. He was saying, I love you Aza I love you a lot, don't leave me please, I will fix everything, I promise. Everything will be beautiful again trust me, I promise. I turn my face to him and hugged him, I could feel he was hoping that I will not leave him but he burst into tears when I said, there is no trust between us, I'm sorry. I have to leave. This is not love that I thought. You are not the prince my grandfather told me, this isn't the love story I wanted.
I signed and open my eyes feeling the wind. I mute the song and set there in silence with tears falling. Sometimes living with those memories haunts me and terrifies me, sometimes I wish I could erase or forget those freaking memories, I wish he never came into my life and hold my hand when all he can do was break me apart I thought.
Ahhhhhh, I'm exhausted. Can you hear me I tired of holding myself strong, tell this to Pa at least you can do this. I said pointing at the Moon. Again it went all silence, my thoughts, music of my phone and the chaos in my head, it went silence. Then I stand up on the edge and shouted, "he was a asshole, he was a freak, he was a idiot, he was a traitor, I hate him. " I calm myself down still standing on the edge. Ahhhh, this feels good. I said.
After few minutes I can sense some foot steps approaching me. I didn't care that he/she might do something wrong to me, the thing that concerned me is that why he/she is here? Generally nobody comes here nor I bought anybody else not even my closest friend. At this time normal people sleeps. I know I'm in the abnormal category which is fine because this is the only time I can be this abnormal rather then being a perfect human and imperfectly myself. But still I didn't care about him/her I continue drinking my beer enjoying the wind and still thinking why he/she is here? Is he/she is abnormal like me too??
But I suddenly feel a soft touch on my elbow which sacred me, so I screamed out of shock and fear. As I screamed he pulled me down hard as if I was about to jump and he is my saviour. I fell over him by then I have stoped screaming. We both are steady like stone. We both didn't tried to move. Both of my hands are on his chest. He have a strong chest to be honest. His hands are up just beside his head. I look up to see his face but it's dark enough to see nothing but his white shirt which is quite fit to his body.
Aahhh, are you fine? he said in a soft voice.
I stand up as soon as I possibly could. I offer my hand to him, still trying to see his face. He take my hand to stand up and started cleaning his back. He turned at me and said in a concern voice, are you okay? I nodded yes fixing my hair.
What the fuck you were doing up there?he said in a serious voice. I look at him, he's wearing a mask, he have black hair which just got ruined as we fall. He have beautiful blue eyes which shined like a star in the dark night. He still look perfect with that messy hair and mask on where I'm all messed up.
Hello miss? Can you hear me? he said again.
That's none of your business what was I doing up there and another thing do I look like deaf to you? I said in a narrow voice.
For a minute yes and yeah you're right, you were about to jump from this building which I designed and my sister owns and it's not my fucking business? Great, he said with a higher tone voice.
Aaaahhhh don't yell at me. You are fucking nobody to yell at me and wait who said I was about to jump, I'm here to just celebrate so don't get your random thougts out of your head MR. I replied to him, almost shouted. Holy shit!!! His voice is freaking hot, just like alcohol to my body. I'm already half drunk and I wonder he say anything more, I swear to god I can't resist myself from kissing him. And you know what's making me more crazy that in this 7 years I never felt like this for anyone. Not that I have not seen hotter guys than this guy who is just standing right infront me wearing a mask and probably staring at me. It's making me crazy, I whisper.
He nodded saying, aaahhh celebrate, I didn't knew that, nowadays, the citizens over here celebrate like this. On the edge of a building with a beer, but wait celebration must be with friends, so may be they are coming or they just left? He started looking here and there. He again looked at me, he's about to say something but before he could say a word I grabbed his collar, pull off his mask and kiss him. At first he didn't kiss me back but with in few second he started kissing me back, passionately. We both stop kissing as we were lack of breath. We stared each others eyes then I said hugging him, this feel good. What, the kiss? he said hugging me back.
No I whisper, hugging you feels good Mr. mask man, I needed this badly.
I feel so warm in his arms, I was missing this so so much.
Hmmmm, then keep hugging me, he said in a sweet voice.
I can feel his breath on my shoulder as I'm wearing a crop top and black trousers. To be honest it felt so much like him, more like the last hug with him.
I missed you so much, I whisper near his ears. Miss me? I guess this is our first meet, he said.
I look at him for a minute still can't see his face. I signed and again kept my face on his shoulder, tiding the huge and said, you smell good. Soon I realised what am I doing. He is not him. He can't be him. I untie the hug with him as fast as I can. Now my back is facing him.
I think you should leave now, he said.
I blink, hey you mask man, if you don't want to stay, get lost. I was good here alone, on my own, I didn't invited you and I came here first and I was good but you made it restless, for me okay? So you leave. I don't need your permission to stay here my dear mask man. I said in a bit furious voice.
He grin, what the heck with that mask man, I have a name okay? He said.
Who cares? Just leave me alone you fucking spoil brat, I replied. Spoil brat huhh, firstly you kissed me and now you are asking me to leave. Don't you think that's hypocrisy?He said.
Huh hypocrisy, let me remember you that you also kissed me back and what do want? Just leave me alone. I said to him.
He soon realised that I'm drunk. He come near me but I flinch. He then whisper in my ears, I want your apartment number right now. My eyes widened with his words. I know what's going to happen after this. My heartbeat raised. I'm feeling my heartbeat speeding up.
You wish. I said. So you don't have a apartment in this building. I was thinking right then, he said.
With his words, I got furious. Do you think I'm homeless? Do you think I'm here because I have nowhere to go?? I ask him in a furious voice.
He said, yes that's what I think of you right now.
You freaking spoil brat, I have a apartment and I know it's number too, I said. Then tell me, he replied. Its apartment number 105 C. Happy now?? I said to him. He pulled me closer and said, more than happy. Then I realised he tricked me to know the number.
You trick me right, I'm gonna kill you. Youuu, I couldn't complete my sentence as he put me up on his shoulder. He took my bag and his blazer and went into the lift. With in a minute we were infront of my apartment. I was beating him all the way. He put me down and looked at me. You are a very strong girl he said trying to hug me. I move back but he grab my waist and said with a smirk, you know what, I really like strong girls. You spoil brat, I said trying my level best to untie the hug. He took out my house keys from my bag and open the door. I got tired because I of drinking so much and also because of struggling with the hug. He put me on the sofa, then switch on the light by then I have fallen asleep. But still I can hear him saying, pretty girl with a smile. He again pick me up in bridal style, went in my bedroom and laid me on the bed and stare at me for a while.
Pretty house and pretty girl, he said with a smile. He then switch off the light then close the door of my house. Then he went into the lift.
Hope to see you soon crazy rooftop girl, he said with a smile.