"What do you want me to say, Jimin? I fucked up again? Do you think they'd excuse me this time? The CEO is breathing down my neck and I'm here stuck on these goddamn results!" Hyunki hisses into the phone.
Jimin and him had worked for a good 7 years and he'd not just been his manager but, his best friend as well.
Of course, Hyunki hated giving the overly-affectionate Jimin the benefit of doubt that he was indeed Hyunki's closest ally.
"All I'm saying is, the next time you decide to bail on a schedule, let me know in advance so I can at least pull a few strings and do some damage control on your part.." Jimin sighs through the receiver, rolling his eyes as Hyunki would imagine.
Hyunki watches through his dark tinted windows, rows and rows of fans standing outside the hospital, waiting on him.
"Also, who let the news of me heading to the hospital out to the public, Jim?"
The line goes silent and a disgruntled cough is heard through the receiver.
"For God's sake, Jimin…why?" Hyunki cusses, running a large palm over his sweaty forehead.
"Listen, I needed to make the investors believe that you were ill. What better than a headline? Hyunki, please..don't loose your calm."
Hyunki cuts the phone, flinging it across the car seat.
"Sir, we'll need to take the alternate entrance." He instructs the driver, who swerves around.
——
All his life, Hyunki was made to believe he was special.
He'd become accustomed to so much attention, he'd started believing he was one of the extraordinary.
Life had presented itself on a golden platter for him.
A snap of his fingers could open doors to some of the biggest opportunities one could slog an entire lifetime to see.
For him, however, it was no big a deal.
So much so, Hyunki had started to take it all for granted.
He felt indifferent.
Nothing excited him.
Nothing could move him, make him feel what others called 'emotions'.
He walked through days and night, worked as a Robot, tirelessly.
At the end of the day, he knew he belonged not just to himself but to the millions and millions who loved him and wanted a piece of him to keep.
He'd given a part of him to so many, he'd forgotten who he really was on the inside.
He was just making it through.
Packed schedules, inadequate sleep, rounds of unhealthy processed food and tons of alcohol, kept him running.
His body would eventually give up, he'd thought.
But having to give everything up right now, was out of the question.
He was at the peak of his career.
His new single had stood at the top 30 Billboard chart, for the past 3 weeks.
He had tons of gatherings, award show appearances and commercials to choose.
How could his body betray him now?
"Mr. Min. I'm glad I could see you, knowing how busy you've been this week." Hyunki's doctor speaks.
Hyunki finds himself slumped up in a blue chair as he stares everywhere but at his own Oncologist.
The eggshell white walls, the pink examination table, the silver pen that lay before him on his doctor's table as he runs his eyes over a white piece of paper.
He nods and intertwines his fingers in his own.
He settles his fist over his jean clad thighs and feels the wetness of the coffee that'd been dunked over him by a clumsy doctor or whoever she was.
It irritates him, the feeling of the wet and warm liquid seeping into the fabric of his denim and onto his skin.
"Wh-What does my report say, Dr. Kim?" He asks.
Hospitals had always scared Hyunki.
Especially ever since he'd lost his Mother to an unfortunate accident 2 years ago and all he was able to do was hold her pale hand as she flatlined in the ICU.
While professional life had been kind to Hyunki, his personal life was in shambles.
That's why he threw himself into work, distracted himself from the aspect of his life that was just incomplete and broken.
Dr. Kim clears his throat.
"Hyunki-ssi, you came in last week with a gaping wound over your elbow that wouldn't stop bleeding and have reported of frequent nosebleeds and fatigue over time..We made sure to check your blood profile and have come across a suspicious finding in our report…Upon giving your Blood Count a detailed assessment, we've found 'Myeloblasts' circulating in your blood vessels."
The doctor explains, standing up to withdraw a photo card from the shelf, adjacent his table.
"Myeloblasts?" Hyunki asks, running the pads of his fingers over his bandaged elbow.
"If you look here, the normal human blood count should show three essential cells - The red cells, The white ones and the platelets..Now look here, yours particularly show a 4th type of abnormal ones alongside the other three..they're called Myeloblasts. They're much similar to the white cells but are highly invasive and try to reduce the number of the other 3 cells in your blood, which are essential…You say you've also been complaining of frequent cold and breathlessness?"
"T-That's only because I haven't been taking care of myself and I have all these dance practices…"
"No, Hyunki..It's because the Myeloblasts are attacking your Red blood cells, reducing the haemoglobin in your body, which makes you breathless, they target your white cells, encouraging infections and they reduce the number of healthy platelets, causing you to bleed uncontrollably."
Hyunki goes silent.
His throat is dry.
What was happening to him.
"What do I have, Dr. Kim?" He asks, firmer.
His Doctor reclines on his chair as he stacks the photos into a neat pile.
"Hyunki, I'm afraid, we suspect that you may have a condition called Adult Acute Myeloid Leukemia..It's a type of Blood cancer and guessing from your blood profile and the findings, we're highly sure it is this."
Cancer?
"Doctor Kim, I-I don't know what you mean…This is the first time I've come to a hospital in years a-and cancer? For a wound and a persistent cold? Cancer? H-How sure are you??" He asks frantically, removing his cap and running a cold and clammy hand through his blonde locks.
"Now Hyunki, you need to remain calm.. I understand how shocked you may be. Trust me, I understand your emotions well. You need to be more understanding of this situation..As per our diagnosis, we're about a 95% sure. The Myeloblasts have a very characteristic appearance and yours look the same. I will be forwarding your case to our senior Oncologist Dr. Choi for a second opinion but, I personally believe you must start preparing your own self.." He consoles.
Hyunki's vision blurs, this eyes are moist and his back hurts from how he's been lurching over.
Dr. Kim senses his patient's predicament and gets up from his seat, sitting next to Hyunki, dragging the chair closer to his.
"I don't know a thing about this, Dr…What Leukemia? Can I recover? How much of a chance do I have??" He asks, a tear rolling down his cheeks.
"Hyunki, I don't think you should be seeing this in a negative light, as of now..You're young and agile..you obviously have a higher chance of recovering. We haven't assessed the extent of the spread of Myeloblasts yet and can't be sure of what stage you are in, currently..I propose that we get a second opinion from Dr. Choi…He's the country's most renowned Oncologist. I believe he can give you a clearer picture. Once we confirm this diagnosis, we can have you come in for a CT scan or a Lumbar Puncture to catch up on the extent..I need you to be patient, Hyunki.."
"How can I be patient when the only thing I don't have on me is time? I-I'm dying, Dr. Kim.."
"That's not true, Hyunki. You can beat this..You will need to be strong."
"But, I-I'm so weak.."
"You're stronger than you let yourself be, Hyunki..Please listen to me and go on a hiatus, from all your activities..You'll need to rest if we're going to start you on certain medications.."
Hyunki stands up, wiping his tears.
He couldn't believe he let himself look weak in front of a stranger.
"Where are you headed Hyunki?" Dr. Kim asks, watching his patient take hasty steps towards the door.
"Please call me when Dr. Choi takes a look at my report and confirms the diagnosis..and, could you please do me a favour?"
Dr. Kim stands up, straightening his white lab coat.
"Anything, Hyunki.."
Hyunki pulls his black cap over his blonde locks.
"Don't tell anyone about this..I d-don't want to be pitied.."
"It'll always remain Confidential, don't worry about a thing and please take re—"
Dr. Kim's sentence remains incomplete as he's met with an empty room with Hyunki long gone.
Dr. Kim slumps back into his ergonomic chair as he cracks his neck.
"I don't have the heart to tell him how critical he is.."
With that, he picks up the receiver on his work telephone and dials the number.
"Hi Yoona, please connect me to Dr. Choi immediately.."