With my new company and new wife, we began our long journey to the lonely mountain. Telling stories about of past an youth to let the time fly. Thorin started the story telling, by stating how when Fili and Kili was about 8, they took Thror's shoes and took a dump in it. When his grandfather stepped in it, he yelled so loud the whole kingdom ran in fear. How he walked to Fili in rage, cussing many dwarvish profanities and asked," WHO THE FUCK, SHIT IN MY SHOE." Fili looked Thror dead in the eyes. And replied," Grandfather, I believe I saw your prized hunting dog do it." To this day Thorin has never found the dog.
Mine wasn't as good, but I told them about how me and my brother Deimos would steal a mean oils ladies pies and replace them with fruit, it was foolish but the look on the ladies face, confusion and frustration. After a few hours of story telling and confessing regrets, we arrived at Bree. We find an inn to stay at called the prancing pony.
As soon as we enter the inn, all I could smell was vomit and ale. We found a table to eat and relax. We started talking about family and where we have been. After, everyone spoke of there journeys and mishaps, all eyes fell to me. I sighed, "I was born during the age now know as the years of the lamps, I had forts all over the iron hills, the misty mountains and through out Mordor. My race was beautiful, fair skinned, and kind. My people had a love for the hobbits, their kind and friendly nature brought smiles to all around. The peace lasted as long as it could, until Morgoth showed up in my lands. He sent a plague to my people killing the young and old, in order to keep the remaining safe we burned the dead.
Morgoth returned and cursed us, bleaching our skin with the ashes of our fallen friends and family. With the help of the Valar Morgoth is put in prison, as I was about to continue a guy walked up and started to flirt with my new wife. All the dwarves look at me with fear in their eyes, Bilbo looks at me in surprise, in rage, I stand up a punch the guy in the jaw. His head flew to the floor and was imbedded in the wood. I grabbed Celebrian and pulled her behind me, I activated my shield to protect her from bones and mugs.
That's when all hell broke lose, bodies flying here and there, mugs and stools connecting to faces. Me and Celebrian fought droves of drunken and fat men. I became mesmerized my her skills, she looked like a fairy dancing in the wind. After the fight, we went to our rooms and slept. When I woke up I saw my wife laying on my chest looking like the murder paint on a road. We went to the inn to have breakfast and then stocked up for our long trip, we left Bree by midday.
On our way we stopped by the last bridge and build a camp sight. By midnight, I was woken up to be told the horses are missing. We went to look for them. We found another camp site after searching for 30 minutes. Three troll were arguing about how to cook the horses. One troll wanted to turn them in to soup, while the other two wanted to bbq them. I watched the dwarves charge at the and all get their asses kicked. I sit down and laugh wanting to see what happens next, until I see my elven wife tied up. Rage flowed out of me, as the flames of war burned around my body, my anger rose. I rushed to the closest troll, punched his gut and my fist went clean through, leaving nothing covering his spine. The second troll, I jumped on his back and put my hands under his jaw, using all my strength I pulled his head off like a cap on a bottle. The last troll frozen with fear, I did my worst to, I started gradually hitting him harder, waiting between punches to keep him Conscious, until his head was flat like a pancake.
The rage in me still wasn't satisfied, but I had to fight it away when I saw fear in my wife's eyes.